I found this over at Proud Atheists blog. The guy actually starts blubbering while talking out loud to his imaginary friend and says repeatedly “God is so real”….”The Holy Spirit is so real.” If this is real, and not just some goofball YouTube prankster, then this is damned creepy. If it is just dramatics once again by yet another religious fundie to try to get us to feel sorry enough to take him seriously, it is still creepy. He appears to be genuine lunatic fundie…here is his YouTube link to check out more of the insanity.

I guess this is better than praying for the demise of liberals…

Adopt-a-Liberal
Liberty Council Prayer-In-Action Program

Since the landmark 2008 general election, there can be no doubt that a very large percentage of our Nation’s leaders have a liberal mindset. The undeniable fact is that the 111th Pelosi-Reid Congress and the Obama Administration demonstrate a far left political philosophy. And since the President nominates federal judges and Justices of the United States Supreme Court, the judicial branch of government could take on a decidedly more liberal bent as the Obama Administration wears on.

Liberty Counsel has therefore named this special new prayer-in-action program Adopt a Liberal. And that’s exactly what we invite you to do — adopt a liberal who is in authority for regular, intense prayer in accord with St. Paul’s admonition to his disciple, Timothy. In fact, we expect that many of our friends and supporters will choose to adopt many liberals as subjects of regular prayer!

What if their god loves liberals, since they are into helping the poor and sick, feeding the masses, saving the environment, and all that “evil” stuff like that?

And if you don’t have high blood pressure…check this out:

Atheism: Bringing the Sexy Back

It would be amusing to just have a contest asking people to guess what the vertical axis on this chart is supposed to represent. The answer is, “reply rate to first-contact messages on an online dating site, as a function of words appearing in the message.” In particular, the site OkCupid, which has a handy rundown of which words and phrases are most likely to garner a reply to an initial contact. (Via FlowingData.) The average response rate is 32%, so you can see how using some specific word increases or decreases your chances of success. Apparently mentioning “God” is a big turn-off, although calling Him by a proper name is slightly helpful. But nothing works at turning a stranger’s head quite like bringing up His complete lack of existence.

Yes, that’s right, kids: If you want to date online, start with you you really are (i.e., atheist), don’t be a jerk when you meet them, and they’ll be nothing to worry about.

By the way, for face-to-face dating, I’d suggest the same thing. Saves a lot of time and aggravation…

Here is a new one…I will let you read this — it’s our buddy Mike again:

Regarding the idea that there are all kinds of religions out there making all kinds of claims and each thinks they are right:
This is true. And it is true that it is “all a matter of what people choose to believe”. The important question is, is one’s faith (that is, what they choose to believe) a blind, unreasonable faith, (like atheism, or Muhhamedism, for example) or is it a faith backed up by the evidence? The bible is backed by evidence. It is filled with perfectly fulfilled prophecies. No other book or belief system on the face of the earth is even remotely like the bible. Here’s a prophecy written down 2000 years ago. In 2009, take a look around as this is preparing to be implemented.

Yes, Mike, it is a matter of what people choose to believe. And atheism is not a “faith”, and it’s Islam or Muslim, not “Muhhamedism”. And no, the Bible is not backed with “evidence”. It’s bullshit backed up with more and more bullshit. “Prophecy? What fucking prophecy? There have been many “prophecies” from many religions. And in 2009 it is appalling that there are folks who live by the writings in an ancient mythology book of gruesome fairy tales.

[ed. note: Just to clarify what I mean by "it's a matter of what people choose to believe"...The god believers have a choice about whatever type of sky daddy they choose to believe in, according to whatever prejudices, bigotry, desires, and needs they might want to support. Atheism is not a "faith" but a lack of belief in gods and goddesses. Hope that clears that up.]

Hey, I think I like this kid…

[LINK]

Of all the wild variations of cultism spawned by religion, the ones that tickle me most (in between the bouts of startled laughter) are the creationists, be they Young Earth or Old Earth (at least the latter are somewhat inclined towards evidence).

And the former? Wow, talk about crazy – the upcoming tidbit of teleological rubbish stems from this particular site – try not to let teh crazy overwhelm your senses.

BIBLICAL CREATION – Scientific Proof

MARS REPORT: No Life

Even though many thousands of scientists today do not believe that the theory of evolution has any scientific merit, our nation continues to spend many millions of dollars in searching for extraterrestrial life in deep space and within our solar system. This is because much of the scientific community is still clinging to a theory which has already been shown by the sciences of geology, thermodynamics, chemistry, microbiology and genetics to be as impossible as anything could be considered to be impossible in science. This statement is based on the numerous advances in modern technology which continuously provide evidences which discredit the evolution theory.

‘Thousands of scientists’? Are you kidding me? I raise to the power of Steve! (The illustration being obvious: the number of scientists named Steve alone outnumber the alleged ‘scientists’ who disagree with the science of evolution).

In addition, these same scientific disciplines also verify that the established laws of science prohibit the development of life from non-living chemicals.

Oy, there’s the old abiogenesis canard. This doesn’t disprove evolution at all. In fact, there’s some kind of proof how RNA got started.

It is not what we do not know about evolution, but what we do know about the confirmed laws of science, which falsify evolution.

Uh…hello? Evolution is a confirmed law of science?

During the initial Lunar landing missions, the Apollo astronauts were required to be quarantined until it could be determined that no pathogenic microbes were introduced from the Moon. As it turned out, no extraterrestrial microbes or biologic molecules of any kind were found on the astronauts or within any of the numerous Lunar samples.

Which is a big resounding, so fucking what?

In 1975, two U.S. space probes were launched for the purpose of landing on Mars. The Viking probes were designed to provide images of the terrain and analyze the Martian soil. One of the primary functions of the onboard laboratory was to test for organic molecules or any signs of life such as microbes. The rationale was that "since" life had evolved on Earth, some form of life must have also evolved on Mars. Scientists were hopeful that some evidence of life would be found to bolster the theory of evolution. However, the extremely expensive and sophisticated test apparatus did not detect any evidence to support evolution. Not a trace of a microbe could be found by either of the probes.

Wait – was that the metaphorical rumblings of the foundations of evolution I just felt? Never mind, it was just gas.

VIKING FAILS TO DETECT LIFE

Now using the same reasoning, if evolution had occurred on the Earth, one would expect that at least single-celled forms of life, whether plants, animals, or even viruses would have been detected either by the elaborate Martian experiments or from all the Lunar missions

I tell you what else fails – this, to impress. It’s one effin’ planet, people.

No verified forms of extraterrestrial life have ever been observed.

Radio telescopes have also been used for decades by the SETI project. SETI is the organization – Search For Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence. This organization is funded with millions of dollars each year and is managed by NASA. Scientists, including the late Carl Sagan, have been looking for pulsed signals from outer space. These scientists are prepared to accept any basic signal which can be interpreted as coded information as proof of the existence of extraterrestrial life (aliens). No such signals have yet been received, however, this same scientific community refuses to acknowledge the origin of the enormous encyclopedic quantity of complex information which has been found.

Of course, that analogy is seriously broken.

THE DISCOVERY OF THE DNA MOLECULE HAS UNCOVERED THE MOST ORDERED INFORMATION SEQUENCE IN THE UNIVERSE

Of course, the ‘white paper’ blathers on at length about DNA – of course, no mention of pseudogenes, or for that matter, anything that resembles the slightest lick of the tongue of science (ooh!). I’ll skip ahead to some of the funniest ‘statistics’ you’ve likely ever seen.

Bible believing Christians maintain that man was created in God’s image and likeness, therefore it is difficult to understand how this could include a transition from apes. In fact, the clear teaching of the Bible states that man was created fully mature about six thousand years ago. (Genesis 1)

Yes, despite all archeological proof to the contrary, like the Harrapan civilization.

PEOPLE OFTEN ASK HOW THE 6000 YEARS IS DETERMINED.

No one Bible scripture states this and perhaps this is because God knew that man has been known to attempt to explain away any one particular scripture. The 6000 years is determined by adding the total chronological time span of the Biblical patriarchs to the date of established historical events such as the birth of Christ.

Or maybe they made all that shit up.

Some say that the genealogy of the patriarchs contain gaps. They claim that generations might be missing because each descendent listed in Genesis may not have been a son but rather a grandson or great grandson etc. This possibility is irrelevant because the time span between these births is mathematically fixed no matter how many generations may have been missing.

Wait – a resounding WTF? These people can’t even agree on life spans. No proof that anyone can live past 150. Fixed how?

All the time lines of the stated genealogies link together to form an accurate continuous chronology.

Too risible.

Several textual discrepancies have arisen between the Greek Septuagint and the Hebrew Masoretic texts. These only amount to several hundred years therefore, the 6000 years+ recorded history of man stands. There is no rational way to stretch this figure to millions of years!

Christlation: “I don’t want to believe the evidence, ergo, the evidence doesn’t prove it!”

Evolutionists, including those who teach at many Christian colleges, believe that man is simply a higher form of ape who evolved by chance. According to this popular theory, the genus "Homo" has been evolving for about 2,500,000 years.

Well, only if reality is ‘popular’…

Now this hypothesis can be mathematically tested and compared with the account of creation to establish which is more plausible. We need only compare the quantity of physical remains of man found on the planet Earth with the expected numbers which should remain as fossils or unfossilized bones. After all, the evolutionists have assured us that fossils, in general, have been preserved for hundreds of millions of years.

Let the stupidity begin:

The equation for human population growth is:

P= p_oe^rt

P = present human population
p_o = initial human population of 2 people
e = natural logarithm base (2.718)
r = annual growth rate
t = time in years

The current annual growth rate is 1.7%. However, examination of population figures throughout recorded history, which takes into account plagues and wars, indicate that the average growth rate is closer to .5%. Now let’s be extremely conservative and not even consider all the expected remains which would have accumulated from Homo erectus and Homo habilis which supposedly have been reproducing for several million years. We are also going to severely limit the calculation to the expected number of graves which modern man would have left, and then for ONLY 100,000 years instead of the 200,000 years proposed by many evolutionists. Going further, the population growth rate will be reduced to .1%.

Using these extremely conservative numbers in the above equation yields the Earth’s total population of Homo sapiens which would have lived and died : 5.3(10)⁴³

This number is 5 with 43 zeros after it. This population is a whopping incomprehensible astronomical number! Let me boil this down to the expected number of graves (remains/fossils) per acre.

NUMBER OF ACRES ON THE EARTH
3.7(10)¹⁰

Each acre of ground should contain 1.44(10)³³ bodies per acre

If the evolutionary scenario is even remotely true then:

Every time and every where a spade is put in the ground, it should come up filled with modern human bones!

This would be most impressive – if I were a drooling moron, that is. The variables that intersect this are just staggering. Akaline soil that eats away at bone matter, for one. Prevalence of scavengers cracking open the bones for marrow. Erosion. Extreme weather variations pounding away at the remains. Some tribes (the Parsees for one) practice air burials. Cannibalism. Let’s not even calculate SIDS among the ‘noble savages’, the tolls wars take on bodies, burials at sea or drowning (how much you wanna bet corpses don’t settle into the silt like they claim in the movies, huh?), tectonic plate shifts, lava/magma, I mean, all the variables that aren’t factored into this alleged ‘equation’.

PZ Meyers at Pharyngula pharyangulates this fairly easily via this post.

As a matter of fact, no matter how deep the excavation or how many miles you probed the Earth with a test boring–you would come up with human remains. Remember this does not even include the entire genus "Homo" whose remains could not be contained in the entire globe of the Earth even if it were hollow.

(My eyes are rolling up so high, I can see the bottom of my brain!)

BIBLICAL SCENARIO:

We are now in a position to compare this unrealistic situation with the clear teaching of the Bible.

Initial Population after the flood: 8 people
Growth rate : .428%
Time: 4750 years (since the Flood)

EXPECTED EARTH’S POPULATION:
5.38(10)⁹

As you can see, this figure agrees with the current population of our planet (see graph). It is clear that the population growth figures are undeniably in accord with the Biblical account of Noah’s flood as opposed to the utter foolishness of evolution theory.

So, to nutshell:

No life on Mars disproves evolution, and so does the fact that we’re not tripping over human bones when we pull weeds. So the planet isn’t a vast graveyard, this proves what? Nothing, except these people don’t seem to be living in the same world as we are.

(Do note, I provide this for us all as a flashcard: because someday, some way, one of us may encounter these ridiculous ‘theories’, and better to be prepared, than to stand there ‘tasered by the devil’ as Lewis Black puts it.)

This has been the Apostate, finding crazy shit on the web so you don’t have to.

just tell them Jesus was a socialist and Christianity promotes the socialist agenda.

Lately it has been the thing in the media and by our fellow citizens on the far right to call Obama a socialist when few even know what the term means.

Valentine Logar, in her article “Jesus was a Socialist” states:

Our current economic system has some aspects of Socialism including government regulation of certain industries, provisioning of health insurance for the elderly (Medicare), provisioning of care for the poor at a state level (Welfare, WIC, and Medicaid), taxing authority supported police, fire, and aid (911) are all examples of socialist programs. Each is generally found in countries with mixed economies, that is Socialism and Capitalism are both at work. Thus, my first conclusion Barack Obama is not a Socialist he is not even very far left of the middle; he is a Democrat and that is all he is.

But Jesus was indeed a socialist, which when told this many fundies pop a vessel, and go off on all kinds of tangents trying to deny that fact. I found these in various discussion threads about whether Jesus was a socialist:

(this one being rather pathetic and funny at the same time)

Asker writes:

Socialism and socialists tends to be rather unGodly secularists that have a creeping atheism about them.

Guess Jesus was a creeping atheistic ungodly secularist???

And here,Jen Y says:

… let me share my wisdom: Jesus was not a socialist. We are used to Satan quoting the Scriptures and taking them out of context even to Jesus himself.

You could confiscate -not tax, you could confiscate – the wealth of the upper 5% or the upper 10%. You could confiscate the wealth of the upper 40% of the people in this country. You could do it one time only because they’d have nothing left – and you could run the government for less than a year, if you confiscated their wealth. There simply isn’t enough private wealth to take a portion of it and make everybody else in this country rich, which is what socialism implies. What the social justice, the economic justice, the way they use the term in order to sell it, it’s very clever rhetoric, but it doesn’t end up working that way. Everybody ends up being taxed because there isn’t enough private wealth generated for the government to take it every year and make a substantial difference in the lives of people who are not wealthy, it just isn’t the case. Never has been the case.

Jen seems to think that socialism = everyone being rich. More of Jen Y’s rambling can be found here.

I’ve been looking around the internet and you can get these conservative fundies really riled up when you tell them that the Jesus character they worship was a socialist. Try it sometime in general conversation with your fundie friends and family and watch them go berserk, telling you that you don’t know the Bible, don’t know who Jesus really is, etc.

In her article titled simply “Jesus was a Socialist”, Valentine Logar states:

Jesus was the first Socialist, this isn’t really a question, but a statement of fact based upon the New Testament Bible. In fact I find it an interesting phenomenon that those who are most vocal in their rejection of social programs to assist the poor and displaced of our society are the very same who in most cases call themselves the “Moral Majority” and espouse Christian values as the basis of their political stance. Nevertheless, let me return to my proofs of why Jesus was the first Socialist, how I have arrived at this conclusion.

I am going to start with Mark Chapter 10:21-25 21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. 23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

So here, we have a very good example of Utopian Socialism in action with Jesus telling the wealthy young man the only way to follow him and gain heaven was to give away his great wealth to the poor, in other words redistribution of personal wealth to those with great need from those with great riches. Naturally, this must be very difficult for some to swallow, notice that the young mans face ‘fell’ when told he must give away his wealth to follow Jesus. Here though is our first proof, we must have no personal wealth beyond our needs; Socialism seems to be de rigueur.

Ms. Logar goes on to provide more examples here.

Ned Lawrence has broken it down to ten reasons why Jesus is a socialist:

1. Jesus owned nothing. 2. Jesus argued for the dissolution of the family and the establishment of communes. 3. Jesus loved all people regardless of ethnicity or class. 4. Jesus revolted against the imperial government, established religion and finance capitalism (usury). 5. Jesus taught that we should act as one body, one blood. 6. Jesus taught that his kingdom (ie nation state) is in the heart and not below the feet. 7. Jesus taught that we should fight for Justice and ‘turn the other cheek’ to petty morality. 8. Jesus was a laborer and a teacher. 9. Jesus practiced healing and forgiveness. 10. Jesus taught that you can’t be an imperialist and a disciple at the same time.

Yes, our fundie friends, Barrack Obama is NOT a socialist. But, like it or not, your Jesus character was a socialist! If you say he wasn’t, then you are in denial or a liar.

There were three men came out of the west, their fortunes for to try
And these three men made a solemn vow
John Barleycorn must die
They’ve ploughed, they’ve sown, they’ve harrowed him in
Threw clods upon his head
And these three men made a solemn vow
John Barleycorn was dead – John Barleycorn Must Die

Among UFOlogists, crop circles are considered to be actual evidence of alien visitation.

Mysterious phenomena reported from Great Britain beginning in 1980. Large, wide circles, sometimes more than 100 feet in diameter, have appeared overnight in fields of grain. The grain in the circle is not dead, but the plant stems are flattened and sometimes darker in color than the surrounding grain. The first report of the circles appeared in the Wiltshire Times on August 15, 1980. It told of several circles that had appeared in the oat fields of John Scull farm near the town of Bratton. A year later a set of circles was discovered in Hampshire, near Cheesefoot Head. Unlike the earlier set, which had been randomly placed, this second set of three circles was in a straight line.

So…the pattern became more intricate.

Most of the circles have been reported from the southern counties of Hampshire and Wiltshire, the same area already noted for its monolithic structures such as Stonehenge and Avebury. There are some occasional reports of similar phenomena in France, Canada, Australia, and the U.S. Between 1980 and 1987 approximately 120 circles appeared in the original area west of London. Then a dramatic increase occurred in 1988 with 112 reported. Over 300 were reported in 1989 and in 1990 over 1,000.

More patterns emerge. It seems that the media attention fanned the fires, so to speak.

Over the years, the original circles gave way to ever more complex patterns, called "pictograms," which included circles arranged in geometric patterns, rectangles, crescents, and dumbbell shapes. In the case of concentric rings, the grain is sometimes flattened uniformly, at other times in contrary directions.

Explanations of the phenomenon include giant hailstones, crazed hedgehogs, too much or too little fertilization, and UFOs. There was even a suggestion that the circles may have been formed by helicopters flying upside down, but the absence of widespread helicopter wrecks disproved any dangerous practice of this kind. It is well known that small rings in grass meadows and lawns are known to be caused by mushrooms, but there is no evidence that the giant crop circles result from any known fungi. One theory that is distinct from speculations of paranormal effects is that of physicist George T. Meaden. He proposes a theory of atmospheric vortices that are electrically charged.

And here’s a real kicker for ya:

In 1991 Doug Bower and David Chorley claimed to have personally produced more than 250 of the circles. With the assistance of the British tabloid Today, they created a circle and invited Pat Delgado, the author of a popular text on the phenomenon, to inspect it. Once he pronounced the new circle genuine, the hoax was revealed. Other hoaxers had also produced circles that were judged genuine. However, those who believe in the mystery of the circles have suggested that hoaxing would only account for a few of the more than 2,000 circles. No one has been caught making a crop circle and none appear to have been left half finished. Additionally, it seems difficult to create some of the more complex pictograms in the dark. To date, monitoring of the area has failed to catch the formation of a circle on film or instrumentation.

I just have to shake my head at those last three sentences. Firstly, none of these blokes are taking an advert out in the local column, are they? Second, why would any of them be half-finished? Thirdly, I can give this about 5 minutes of thought and answer the ‘more complex pictograms’ query.

You build a model, like someone designing a city. Wouldn’t need to be that complex, it’s a matter of scale. Once you figure out the pattern you want, you can use thread, spools, and rulers (and any other small measuring devices) to plot it out. In programming, it’s called pseudo-code – you put a skeleton together and flesh it out. Besides which, it’s easy to see that the fellows doing it (obviously it’s not just Bower and Chorley) have gotten better as more circles were drafted onto fields.

This is a basic skeptics model: you test to see if a human being can replicate the event. If this is so, you then assume a human did it. Because 10 out of 10 times, that’s exactly what happened. In this case, it’s more like 99.99%, because on a humorous note, there IS one other species who has been at the root of this phenomenon (huge hint here: it wasn’t ET, baby):

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Giddings told those assembled. "Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

For a less humorous (and more bizarre extrapolation), check this site out. Just a taste, mind you:

According to the theory of Fosar and Bludorf these crop circles appear precisely as a result of hypercommunication through magnetized wormholes in the DNA, and this would explain the magnetized anomalies aspect of this phenomenon.

And I’m pretty sure that one’s not a Poe.

This the Apostate, shaking his head, signing off