On April 27, I posted an article on this blog titled “It Kinda Sorta Maybe Could Be … Noah’s Ark,” about a group of “evangelical archaeologists” from Noah’s Ark Ministries finding what they believed to be the remains of the big biblical boat in Turkey.  I am deeply and profoundly unsurprised to announce that they were wrong.

According to the Christian Science Monitor, a former member of the Chinese-led team, evangelical Christian archaeologist Dr. Randall Price, said, “If the world wants to think this is a wonderful discovery, that’s fine.  My problem is that, in the end, proper analysis may show this to be a hoax and negatively reflect how gullible Christians can be.”  From the Monitor:

Dr. Price, who is director of the Center for Judaic Studies at the conservative Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va., was the archaeologist on the Chinese-led team in 2008 when this alleged discovery was first made. He says he has “difficulties with a number of issues related to the evidence at hand.”

Price declined to elaborate. However, a leaked email from Price – which he confirms that he wrote – shows that he has reason to believe that a group of local Kurdish men trucked wood up to the mountain and staged an elaborate hoax for the Chinese team.

A group of Kurdish workers “are said to have planted large wood beams taken from an old structure in the Black Sea area (where the photos were originally taken) at the Mt. Ararat site. … During the summer of 2009 more wood was planted inside a cave at the site. The Chinese team went in the late summer of 2009 (I was there at the time and knew about the hoax) and was shown the cave with the wood and made their film,” Price writes in the email.

Boy oh boy.  When somebody from Liberty University says your ark is a hoax, you’re sunk.

On his blog Pharyngula, biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris, PZ Myers wrote, “You can hardly blame the Turks around Ararat. There’s a lot of money being poured into the local economy from these numerous creationist expeditions.  It only makes sense to salt a few sites with chunks of wood.”

This is far from the first claim that Noah’s ark has been found, and it’s doubtful that it will be the last.  The search for the big boat is so neverending that a community of ark-search enthusiasts has grown around it, not unlike UFO enthusiasts who gather to rehash stories of Roswell and alien abductions.  Some searches seem to crumble into nothing while others are revealed as deliberate hoaxes.  In an article titled “Sun Goes Down in Flames: The Jammal Ark Hoax” in volume 2, number 3 of Skeptic magazine, Jim Lippard tells the long, involved and wildly entertaining story of how CBS — the television network — was duped into airing a “documentary” called The Incredible Discovery of Noah’s Ark from Sun Pictures International.  You might remember Sun Pictures — they were responsible for such “documentaries” as Ghosts from the Dead, The Lincoln Conspiracy, The Bermuda Triangle, and one about Bigfoot called The Mysterious Monster, as well as the 1980 feature film about a government conspiracy involving space aliens, Hangar 18.

The Incredible Discovery of Noah’s Ark featured a segment in which a man named George Jammal spoke of visiting the ark on Mt. Ararat and showed a piece of wood taken from the structure.  Had Sun Pictures done any research on Jammal, they would’ve found that others in the ark-search community doubted his story from the beginning.  But they did not.  The “documentary” presented Jammal’s story as fact, and during a “dramatization” of his visit to the ark’s resting place, the narrator claimed, “Samples of the wood taken from the vessel have been dated to the time when the Bible indicates a worldwide flood occurred.”  But in fact, the wood hadn’t even been tested.  Jammal later admitted his story and the wood were a hoax.  Even worse, Jammal wasn’t the only person featured in the “documentary” whose story was questionable.

Sun Pictures claimed that it presented all available information and did not have an opinion about the ark one way or the other.  But as Lippard points out, that clashes with the very title — The Incredible Discovery of Noah’s Ark — which claims not only that the ark exists, but has been discovered.  So Sun did have an opinion from the outset.  Also damaging Sun’s credibility was the background of its chief researcher, David Balsiger.  In his article, Lippard points out that Balsiger –

has a past history of involvement with Christian hoaxes.  During the early seventies, Balsiger wrote both books and newsletter articles for the Christian publisher Logos International. He ghost authored or co-authored a number of “autobiographical” books giving Christian testimonies, including Fernand Navarra’s Noah’s Ark: I Touched It, self-proclaimed former Satanist turned Christian comedian Mike Warnke’s The Satan Seller, and faith healer Morris Cerullo’s The Back Side of Satan.  Warnke’s story was exposed as a hoax in a lengthy article in the Christian magazine Cornerstone in 1992, though Balsiger continues to defend it.  Cerullo, for whom both Balsiger and Warnke worked prior to the formation of Warnke’s own ministry, has come under heavy fire from Christian critics for his incredible claims (e.g., that he was taken from an orphanage by angels and transported to heaven for a face-to-face meeting with god) and unorthodox theology.  Logos International, which is no longer in business, also published a hoaxed biography of a former rabbi turned Christian and a book which initiated the “urban legend” about NASA computers discovering a “missing day ” and proving the biblical account of Joshua making the sun stand still.

Noah’s Ark, Satanists, faith healers, missing days … what’s with all this Christian hoaxing?  To hear them talk, they have the only truth.  Everyone else, it seems, is wrong — the Jews, the Muslims, the Hindus, the Buddhists, the New Agers, the Scientologists, the scientists, the atheists, the Democrats, the poor people of Haiti who brought that terrible earthquake down on their own heads, the entire population of San Francisco, to name just a few.  The Christians possess the One and Only Absolute Truth of salvation through their lord and savior Jesus Christ.

So if it’s so true, why all the hoaxing?

Perhaps we can uncover some explanation for that by going to the source, the bible, where we find the story of Noah and the ark.

According to the Book of Genesis, god was startled to discover that humankind had become deeply wicked.  Apparently he hadn’t been keeping track.  Perhaps he’d been busy with other things and we’d gotten naughty while he wasn’t paying attention.  No particular offenses are specified, but we’re told that humanity was just really, really, really not good.  God decided he was sorry he’d created the damned things and, not in a very good mood, decided to wipe them off the face of the earth.  But there was one man god liked.  His name was Noah.  He was 600 years old.

Wait, wait — where are you going?  I’m not making this up as I go along.  That’s what the book says — that he was 600 years old.  Really!

So, instead of just blinking his eyes or twitching his nose and making the nasty human race disappear from the earth, god decided to send a flood to wipe out everyone and everything he’d spent six whole days out of his busy schedule creating.  He told this 600 year old man to build a gigantic boat in which he could save a bunch of animals from the flood.

Now, there seems to be some confusion in the infallible revealed word of god as to god’s instructions to Noah regarding the animals.  According to Genesis 6:19, god told Noah, “And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.”  However, according to Genesis 7:2 and 3, god said, “Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.  Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth. ”  Now, many bible believers explain that what god really meant in this passage was that Noah was to take seven pairs of animals — that way, it matches up with the verse in chapter six.  Of course, the only problem with that explanation is that, according to the book, god didn’t say seven pairs, he just said seven.  Maybe it was a clerical error — even god might have trouble getting good help.

So, following god’s instructions, this single solitary man — who, remember, was 600 years old — built this massive boat big enough to hold two or seven — depending on which verse in Genesis you prefer (seven pairs if you believe the believers) — of every species of animal on the planet.  And he built it out of cypress wood and pitch.  Did I mention that he did this by himself?

Once the ark was built, god sent all the animals to Noah.  The bible does not describe how god got animals from other continents on the planet to congregate around Noah and his big boat, but I’m sure there’s a perfectly rational explanation for the whole thing that god, in his infinite and infallible wisdom, has chosen not to share.  Then, Noah and his wife, his three sons Shem, Ham and Japheth and their wives, entered the ark.

A week later — “In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month,” according to Genesis 7:11 — water exploded from under the ground and it began to rain, and the entire planet, including all of its mountains, was submerged.  It rained for 40 days and 40 nights, and the earth remained flooded for 150 days because god wanted to make sure that everything was damned good and dead.  “And it came to pass in the six hundredth and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth,” according to Genesis 8:13, and Noah and his family and all of the animals came out of the ark and completely repopulated the entire globe.

Yes, that’s right.  Noah — who was 600 years old — and his wife — who I’m guessing was no debutante — and their three sons and their wives — how young could they be if Dad was 600? — repopulated the whole planet all by themselves.

Oh, and all of the earth’s wildlife was located in one spot.

That’s the story of Noah and the ark.

But, Ray, you say, how can anyone take that story as a literal record of an actual event? How is it possible that anyone living today, knowing what we now know about the earth and water and all the laws of science, could believe to be true such an obvious myth?

Well, they do.  I certainly did.  For a while, anyway.  It was early in my life, somewhere in that age range between, “Of course eight flying reindeer can get Santa Claus to every single house on the planet in one night,” and, “Why wouldn’t the Easter Bunny deliver colored hardboiled eggs?”  As I got older, though, I began to have my doubts.  These doubts were expressed by a still, small voice somewhere in the back of my mind.  The adult figures of authority in my life — every last one of them Seventh-day Adventists — identified the still, small voice as the holy spirit trying to guide me and keep me on the path to the truth.  But I was pretty sure the holy spirit wouldn’t say the things that were being said by the still, small voice in the back of my mind.  Things like, “Do you believe this shit they’re saying?” and, “Are these people out of their fucking minds?”

Unfortunately, when it was explained to me that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny didn’t really exist, Noah and the ark — and Moses parting the Red Sea and god poofing the earth into existence by magic and Joshua stopping the sun as it revolved around the earth and a virgin giving birth and a dead man rising from his grave — were not included in that explanation.  All of those things, I was told, really did happen and any information to the contrary came directly from the devil himself.  And everyone in my life — all my friends, all their parents, all the adults, and even people who weren’t Sadventists — backed that up.  So when those things just didn’t seem to make sense to me and that still, small voice in the back of my mind started saying things like, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” it conflicted with what I perceived to be — what I had been taught was — reality and I thought the fault was with me.  In fact, my questions and doubt were specifically identified by all those around me as some kind of dysfunction, a common ailment among Christians known as “the work of the devil.”

As I got older, I found that even outside the very tightknit world of Sadventism, people believed these stories to be literal truth.  It wasn’t just people in my own church who accepted these things as reality — it seemed to be almost everyone.  So even when I reached and passed the age when I should have known better, my questions had been browbeaten into silence and I had been conditioned to believe the cognitive dissonance in my life was a shameful dysfunction of mine.

And that, my friends, is how it happens.

Now, looking back on those years, I recognize that dysfunction as rational thought, which was deliberately strangled in me.  At no point was I given a choice.  No one said to me, “Would you like to believe that these colorful, exciting stories are absolutely true and happened exactly as described in the bible, or would you prefer to think rationally?”  I wasn’t offered the choice between blind belief and rational thought, and as a result, I had no idea there was a difference.   My rational thinking was stamped out like a lit cigarette.  And it continues to be stamped out all around us, every day, in homes and churches and private schools — all too often (despite that pesky United States Constitution), even in public schools — so that today, in the year 2010, there are people out there searching for Noah’s ark … and the ark of the covenant, and the spear that pierced Jesus’s side, and maybe even the holy grail of “evangelical archaeologists” — a fossil of a person riding a dinosaur!  Yabba dabba doo!

So, back to my question:  Why the deception?  Well, for one thing, when the story you want to convince people is true is the story of Noah’s ark, you pretty much have no choice but to rely on hoaxes, do you?  But I think there are primarily two reasons for the deception.

First of all, when the belief system that informs your entire life requires you to believe something like the story of Noah’s ark — to accept it as fact — life is much easier when everyone else accepts it as fact, too.  Unfortunately for you, there is an expanding group of people who refuse to accept such stories as true.  They call the bible mythology — or worse, superstition.  Clearly, these people are thinking too much.  They are afflicted with that disorder that has reached epic proportions throughout the world — “the work of the devil” (aka rational thought).  They are in danger of losing eternal life.  Somehow, this must be remedied.  If they can be made to believe one of the stories of the bible is true, then perhaps they will reconsider all of them.  If they were to believe that Noah’s ark had been found, they might be saved.  Sure, a hoax would be dishonest — but it would be for a noble purpose.  Besides, Jesus will forgive you.  That’s his job.

That reason, of course, gives them the benefit of the doubt and assumes that they are at least somewhat sincere.

The other reason?  What else.  Money!  Finding Noah’s ark — or being a former Satanist, or being a faith healer — is the kind of thing that sells books and videos and fills auditorium seats with the butts of Christians eager to believe … and eager to give till it hurts when the plate is passed.

So this time, in the case of the “ark” discovered in Turkey by Noah’s Ark Ministries, it was the Christians being hoaxed, but for the usual reason — money.

But they’re still looking.  And there are plenty of people behind them.  According to a February 16, 2004, Washington Times article, an ABC News poll conducted among 1,011 adults with a margin of error of 3 percentage points found that Americans, as we know all too well, take bible stories very seriously:

61 percent of Americans believe the account of creation in the Bible’s book of Genesis is “literally true” rather than a story meant as a “lesson.”  Sixty percent believe in the story of Noah’s ark and a global flood, while 64 percent agree that Moses parted the Red Sea to save fleeing Jews from their Egyptian captors.

As Myers wrote, there are enough Christians spending a lot of money in their search for the ark for the locals to go to the trouble of devising hoaxes to keep them coming.  And spending … and spending … and spending.  All of this money comes from the owners of those Christian butts that fill those seats to hear the promise of making this bible story a reality.  A lot of them are people who (as I once was) are not even aware of the fact that they have a choice between blind belief and rational thought — and worse, don’t even know the difference between the two.

I find this need for proof confusing and, at times, infuriating.  Have a long enough discussion with any Christian about his beliefs and at some point, he will say, “I don’t have to provide proof of anything to you because this is my faith, and faith doesn’t need proof.”  Fine.  I can buy that.  But this same Christian will seize upon the smallest shred of apparent evidence to prove that his faith is fact.  That kind of faith is not very strong.  Or perhaps it’s only faith when his back is against the wall in a conversation in which he hasn’t a leg to stand on.  The rest of the time, however, it’s fact, and all he needs is one little bit of “proof” so that everyone else will see that it’s fact, too.  After all, the only way to deal with those party-pooping nonbelievers is to convince them your faith is fact with proof because … well, because you just can’t burn them at the stake anymore.

Not right now, anyway.  But give them time.

(Hat tip to the Dribbleglass for these…stultifying glimpses into the religious mindscape.)

MUSLIMS RIOT OVER SANDAL
Riots in Bangladesh killed one and injured as many as two hundred when Muslims reacted violently in protest of a new sandal which carried a design that they said resembled the Arab script for Allah. Executives of the Canadian-based Bata Shoe Company were ordered into court to explain the design.

I’m guessing here, they don’t want to walk a few feet, let alone a mile, in those shoes…

RETRIBUTION
The Reverend W. N. Otwell, Texas gubernatorial candidate in 1990, declared that the floods and other natural disasters that had bedeviled Texas since 1986 were the Lord’s retribution for all the attacks on Otwell. Said Otwell, "We’ve been keeping stats on this."

So…the imaginary sky daddy is focusing solely on some whackadoo in Texas, cataloguing all the ‘attacks’ on this guy, and besieging Texas? Can you say ‘narcissist’, boys and girls?

IRS USES 666
During 1980 and 1981 the Internal Revenue Service asked taxpayers to enter the number 666 as a code on a form reporting individual retirement accounts. The IRS said that the Social Security Administration chose the number because scanner could read it easily. After complaints from fundamentalist Christians, the IRS changed the number on 1992 forms to 555.

Bad news, fundies: IT’S JUST A NUMBER! And all that crap in Revelation? Pure fiction.

MAN CHANGES NAME TO GOD
Californian Enrique Silberg changed his name in 1985 to Ubiquitous Perpetuity God after a judge refused to allow him to change it to simply "God."

Yes, because the universe is all about YOU, Enrique…are you kidding?

KITTY DIES, END OF WORLD NEARS
Late in July of 1989 a kitten with eight legs and two tails was born in the village of Machala in Ecuador. Rejected by its mother, it died within hours. The devout Catholic population there saw it as a bad sign. "We are nearing the end of the world because people are so decadent," said one.

And yet the world persists, 21 years later…

CATHOLICS BRAWL OVER LATIN MASS
A fist-fight broke out when 60 traditionalist Roman Catholics tried to take over the main altar at Saint Maclou Cathedral near Paris so that they could celebrate the mass in Latin. The brawl lasted over an hour until a priest agreed to move to a side chapel for his Latin service.

Yeah, religion shore do improve pay-pul, dunnit?

FARRAKHAN SHARES WORD OF MOTHER WHEEL
Louis Farrakhan, leader of the Nation of Islam, says he experienced a vision in which a UFO took him from a Mexico mountaintop to a "mother wheel" where the voice of Elijah Muhammad, founder of the religious sect, told him to tell the world that then-President Ronald Reagan was planning a war. Farrakhan said that the later air attack on Libya was partly foiled by the Mother Wheel. "The Wheel was, in fact, present and interfered with the highly sensitive electronic equipment of the aircraft carrier, forcing it to return to Florida for repairs."

Things like the paragraph above give me a conclussion – that is to say, when an otherwise intelligent and rational individual is exposed to an insane conclusion, it gives them a concussion.

BIBLE LESSONS TAKE SHOCKING TWIST
Grand Rapids, Michigan, Baptist minister Dwight Rymer used electric shocks to help him teach the Bible to children. He asked for young volunteers to sit on a stool wired to a six-volt lantern battery in order to demonstrate that sometimes God "can shock you into hearing His word."

My question is: were there any volunteers at all?

MYSTIC NAILED FOR WORLD PEACE
On nationwide television in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, a mystic named Patrice Tamao had himself nailed to a cross "as a sacrifice for world peace and understanding." An unforeseen snag developed when Tamao’s foot became infected the following day and physicians ordered him pried loose and taken down. His wife Marita then volunteered to be hammered up in his place.

Let’s see: world peace? No. And Marita – that’s your husband’s cross to bear.

The ability of the human mind to turn a blind eye to obvious idiocies still stuns me, after 51 years on this earth. I love humanity, but holy crap, are we dim or what?

I wonder, sadly, I wonder…

Till the next post, then.

"Nothing in his life became him like the leaving it” -  Macbeth, Act I, Scene IV

In a recent post, Mr. Garton expounded upon the sexual horrors that some would perpetrate upon us. Sadly, American history is rife with those who would gird our loins for war against our wills. Anita Bryant, for instance, led a vicious movement against gay rights that was religiously motivated. The AFA (American Family Association – what a gentle name that hides the insanity of its members) to this day is virulently anti-gay and labors mightily to foist other violations that run contrary to the (many) principles upon which this country was founded.

As outrageous and horrid as these recent efforts to deprive the few of the liberties granted to all, a brief history lesson will chill the blood and clench the knuckles white with rage. We can breathe a sigh of relief that these days are past us, but we must always be on guard lest the past come back with foaming jaws to bite us in the ass.

Anthony Comstock was a sexually repressed control freak, who left vivid scars on the sexual psyche of America:

Comstock was born in New Canaan, Connecticut. As a young man, he enlisted and fought for the Union in the American Civil War from 1863 to 1865 in Company H, 17th Connecticut Infantry. He served without incident, but objected to the profanity used by his fellow soldiers. Afterward he became an active worker in the Young Men’s Christian Association in New York City.

In 1873 Comstock created the New York Society for the Suppression of Vice, an institution dedicated to supervising the morality of the public. Later that year, Comstock successfully influenced the United States Congress to pass the Comstock Law, which made illegal the delivery or transportation of both "obscene, lewd, or lascivious" material as well as any methods of, or information pertaining to, birth control. George Bernard Shaw used the term "comstockery", meaning "censorship because of perceived obscenity or immorality", after Comstock alerted the New York police to the content of Shaw’s play Mrs. Warren’s Profession. Shaw remarked that "Comstockery is the world’s standing joke at the expense of the United States. Europe likes to hear of such things. It confirms the deep-seated conviction of the Old World that America is a provincial place, a second-rate country-town civilization after all." Comstock thought of Shaw as an "Irish smut dealer." The term comstockery was actually first coined in a New York Times editorial in 1895.

The actual content of Shaw’s play was quite benign by today’s standards. It was more of an effort to humanize an otherwise ‘taboo’ topic.

Of course, this ass-clown rivals even the modern-day Taliban in their ludicrousness:

Comstock’s ideas of what might be "obscene, lewd, or lascivious" were quite broad. During his time of greatest power, even some anatomy textbooks were prohibited from being sent to medical students by the United States Postal Service.

I suppose that gynecologists had to use guesswork in those days? Of course, he had a great many detractors:

Comstock aroused intense loathing from early civil liberties groups and intense support from church-based groups worried about public morals. He was a savvy political insider in New York City and was made a special agent of the United States Postal Service, with police powers up to and including the right to carry a weapon. With this power he zealously prosecuted those he suspected of either public distribution of pornography or commercial fraud. He was also involved in shutting down the Louisiana Lottery, the only legal lottery in the United States at the time, and notorious for corruption.

Frightening, no? It gets worse:

Comstock is also known for his opposition to Victoria Woodhull and Tennessee Claflin, and those associated with them. The men’s journal The Days’ Doings had popularised lewd images of the sisters for three years and was instructed by its editor (while Comstock was present) to stop producing images of "lewd character". Comstock also took legal action against the paper for advertising contraceptives. When the sisters published an expose of an adulterous affair between Reverend Henry Ward Beecher and Elizabeth Tilton, he had the sisters arrested under laws forbidding the use of the postal service to distribute ‘obscene material’–specifically (and ironically) citing a mangled Biblical quote Comstock found obscene–though they were later acquitted of the charges.

And worse:

Less fortunate was Ida Craddock, who committed suicide on the eve of reporting to Federal prison for distributing via the U.S. Mail various sexually explicit marriage manuals she had authored. Her final work was a lengthy public suicide note specifically condemning Comstock.

And even more sickening:

Comstock claimed he drove fifteen persons to suicide in his "fight for the young". He was head vice-hunter of the New York Society for the Suppression of Vice. Comstock, the self-labeled "weeder in God’s garden", arrested D. M. Bennett for publishing his "An Open Letter to Jesus Christ" and later entrapped the editor for mailing a free-love pamphlet. Bennett was prosecuted, subjected to a widely publicized trial, and imprisoned in the Albany Penitentiary.

“Weeder in gawd’s garden’ my homesick ass. He was a morality monster, one of those beasts that is so afraid of human sexuality, it warps the weft of the mind.

Some comeuppance was en route, but unsatisfactory:

Comstock had numerous enemies, and in later years his health was affected by a severe blow to the head from an anonymous attacker. He lectured to college audiences and wrote newspaper articles to sustain his causes. Before his death, Comstock attracted the interest of a young law student, J. Edgar Hoover, interested in his causes and methods.

Wait – JEH? Not that old Lola of FBI fame?

During his career, Comstock clashed with Emma Goldman and Margaret Sanger. In her autobiography, Goldman referred to Comstock as the leader of America’s "moral eunuchs". Through his various campaigns, he destroyed 15 tons of books, 284,000 pounds of plates for printing ‘objectionable’ books, and nearly 4,000,000 pictures.

Yes, because of course freedom of speech only applies when good church-going folk decide that it does, right?

Comstock boasted that he was responsible for 4,000 arrests and 15 suicides.

That anyone claiming to be human could ‘boast’ about driving people to suicide, illustrates what an evil, evil little man Comstock was.

His legacy obviously continues today. It should end here, in the 21st century, where religion is losing its invidious grip on hearts and minds, where science has expanded our intellects to the juncture that these anachronistic atavistic throwbacks are more a cause of comic relief than mystic dread.

Carry on the fight, my friends, lest the old days returneth with blood and shouting and pain.

Till the next post, then.

Bradlee Dean of You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, Inc.

Right now, as you read this, there are elected government officials in the United States who are spreading the word that it is a moral and righteous act to kill homosexuals as instructed in the bible.  These same people warn us of the threat of Islamofascists, of Muslim terrorists, but at the same time, their message states that Muslim nations in the Middle East that execute known homosexuals are more righteous than American Christians.  They believe that President Obama and all Americans who hold liberal views are criminals.  They also claim that the constitutional separation of church and state is a myth, but despite that claim, they are working hard to subvert it and abolish the Constitution as it exists today.  They want their religion — their particular brand of Christianity — enforced by federal law and taught in public schools using tactics that can only be described — and have been by those who’ve seen them — as thought reform and mind control.  They also believe that things like depression and addiction are not actual ailments that plague millions of people but myths created by liberals who want to weaken this country.  One of those government officials is a member of the United States Congress.  Don’t believe me?  Let me tell you a story.

In 2003, Benton High School in Benton, Wisconson, arranged an assembly program for its students in grades 7 – 12 starring a band called Junkyard Prophet, which was to perform music and deliver a message about drug abuse and abstinence.  Bradlee Dean, the group’s founder and drummer, instead used that opportunity, according to the Dubuque Telegraph Herald, to condemn “homosexuality and the teaching of evolution in the schools.”  At a subsequent assembly, Benton Principal Gary Neis apologized to the students for allowing it and told them, “They talked about influencing and brainwashing people.  Be wise to the fact that is what they were doing. They were using the same tactics.”

In 2004, Dean and his group, You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, Inc., which includes the band Junkyard Prophet, appeared at Roane County High School and did the same thing.  According to local paper the Oak Ridger, “RCHS Principal Jody McLoud apologized for any controversy or heartache the assembly generated.  In addition to homosexuality, race and obesity, the materials reportedly also included such topics as suicide, drugs and premarital sex.”  The whole thing stirred a great deal of local controversy, forcing the school district to emphasize its policy that “forbids religious statements in schools.”  But the damage was done.  According to Laura Dailey, a parent of one of the students, “They encouraged bigotry and hate-mongering toward children that may not share their religious beliefs or who are struggling to find an identity or self-esteem.”

Describing a March 2005 performance of Dean and his group at a school in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, high school junior Amy Deitcher told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, “It seemed like total propaganda.  It was like a cult.  They were trying to get kids who can’t think for themselves to think like them.”  Deitcher said boys and girls were separated during the program and girls were “presented with a ‘treasure chest’ theory in which they were told that any sort of physical contact with a man before marriage would result in a woman becoming ‘leftovers’ for her husband.”  Not surprisingly, this performance resulted in the cancellation of a program Dean and company were scheduled to give to an elementary school.  One might think that Dean’s reputation would quickly spread and public school officials would stop scheduling his programs.  But that wasn’t the case.

In November of 2005, YCRBNH was paid $2,500 to perform for three school districts in Collifax, Illinois.  Afterward, an appalled principal gathered students together to apologize to them for allowing the group to appear.

That was five years ago.  They’re still at it. Civil liberties groups point to this activity as a clear constitutional violation.  But it is the responsibility of the school to check out YCRBYCH before booking them to perform.

Annie Laurie Gaylor, co-president of the Freedom From Religion Foundation said, “We’ve made complaints about them in the past.  And there are similar groups out there that use assembly subterfuges to gain access to a captive audience of school children.  It is hard to believe schools don’t know what they’re getting into; all they have to do is a cursory check of the websites.  School districts often pay exorbitant honoraria as well, so it adds economic injury to constitutional insult.”

She points out that these groups, of which YCRBYCH is only one, use deceptive tactics to get into the schools, and once there, they begin to recruit.  “This is a devious strategy used also by many ‘pizza evangelists,’” Gaylor said, referring to Christian groups that use pizza parties, sports, and contests to win big prizes like cars or motorcycles to get a foot into the door of public schools and gain access to the young minds inside.

Bradlee Dean was asked directly by the Minnesota Independent if religion was a part of the program he puts on in public schools.  “Morality is, which is the fruit of religion.  Our testimony of Christ is spoken of if someone asks us ‘what changed you?’”

But to book these programs, Dean is using extremely deceptive tactics.  Is that moral?  Dean has some interesting ideas about morality, which I’ll get to in a moment.

Although they are blatantly dishonest when dealing with the schools where they want to perform, the group makes no secret of its intentions if asked and does not evade questions about it.  During an April 2009 broadcast on Christian radio station KKMS, one of the group’s members said, “We are doing assemblies here, folks, just so you understand, we do public high school assemblies.  We are speaking to kids in our schools about the Constitution, suicide prevention and our own testimony of how Christ turned our lives around in public schools so we can get the light into kids hands in public schools.”  YCRBYCH obviously rejects the United States Constitution and wants it changed to blend religion with government, so what do you suppose the group is telling students about the Constitution in these programs?

As the ministry grows, Dean only becomes bolder.  He has called depression, alcoholism and drug addiction myths — which is interesting given the fact that Dean himself is a recovering drug addict.  He has called President Obama a “domestic enemy.” And on a May 15, 2010 broadcast on Minneapolis-St. Paul’s AM 1280 The Patriot, Bradlee Dean said the following:

Muslims are calling for the executions of homosexuals in America.  This just shows you they themselves are upholding the laws that are even in the Bible of the Judeo-Christian god, but they seem to be more moral than even the American Christians do, because these people are livid about enforcing their laws.  They know homosexuality is an abomination.  If America won’t enforce the laws, god will raise up a foreign enemy to do just that.  That is what you are seeing in America. … They (homosexuals) play the victim when they are, in fact, the predator.  On average, they molest 117 people before they’re found out. How many kids have been destroyed, how many adults have been destroyed because of crimes against nature?

First, I want to address the most obvious piece of utter nonsense in Dean’s statement – the idea that gay people “molest 117 people before they’re found out.”  This has absolutely no basis in fact.  Although religious conservative groups regularly twist available facts and research in an effort to say otherwise, there is no scientific basis for the claim that gay or bisexual men molest or abuse children (or anyone else) any more than heterosexual men.

A week later, Dean said that arresting jailing people for being gay – I mean, actually putting them in prison for their sexuality – is “very moral.”  During their May 22, 2010 radio broadcast, Dean and co-leader Jake McMillian lauded the government of the African nation of Malawi for arresting a gay couple who’d gotten engaged.  McMillian said, “They are very conservative.  They sentence people for crimes against nature.”  It’s probably safe to assume that this is an example of the kind of thing YCRBYCH is being paid taxpayer’s dollars to teach in public schools.  Just as significant is where this broadcast originated from – more on that in a moment.

But let’s take a look at Dean’s other claim, which is enough to make any thinking person’s hair clench.  He says “Muslims are calling for the execution of homosexuals in America” and that makes them “more moral than even the American Christians.”  He says, “If Americans won’t enforce the law” – ostensibly the law of god – “god will raise up a foreign enemy to do just that.  That is what you are seeing in America.”  As best I can tell, the “foreign enemy” to which he refers is Muslim terrorists.  So … Muslims are the enemy sent by god, but … they’re more moral than American Christians?

I’m getting a headache.

Bradlee Dean claims to be a Christian.  Christianity is allegedly — and that’s a very important “allegedly” — based on the teachings of Jesus Christ, a character in the New Testament of the bible who told his followers to treat others the way they want to be treated, to love their enemies, to be humble and selfless, and he told them that simply getting angry at someone was no different than killing that person.  But Dean says that Muslims who call for the execution of homosexuals are more moral than Christians in America.  What can we possibly conclude from this except that, according to Dean, American Christians who want to be moral should be executing gay people?

You might be wondering why this is important.  After all, Dean is probably seen by most as a nutjob, right?  A recovering drug addict drummer with a rock band who says addiction is a myth and gays should be murdered is missing a few cans from his 12-pack of Crazy Cola, right?  You might think I’m just satisfying his need for more attention by writing about him and I should just ignore him, right?  He can’t possibly get far with his little dog and pony show when he’s so obviously a wingnut, right?

Not so fast.

You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, Inc. is a 501(c)3 nonprofit ministry that continues to grow and flourish.  Based in Annendale, Minnesota, Bradlee Dean’s Christian ministry includes websites, radio, video, publishing, and appearances in churches, prisons and — yes, even still — public schools.  They are financed, in part, with taxpayer dollars. When they perform in those public schools, they are paid from state funds, which add up to some considerable sums that the government is taking directly out of the pockets of Americans like you and me — $3,000 to $5,000 for a three-hour assembly, according the group’s website. They receive government money in other ways, as well. From the Minnesota Independent:

Some of the members listed as ministers are employed in the ministry’s punk band that brings its Christian message to public schools, possibly in violation of the constitution’s principle of separation of church and state. Of the six ordained members, the documents reveal, five have been given a clergy housing allowance: tax-free payments by the ministry to support rent or mortgage payments. A church operating as a nonprofit must file IRS form 990, which must list any minister housing allowances as part of the employee’s compensation in order for the members to take the allowance as part of their income.

Jake MacAuley, also known as Jake McMillian, sidekick to ministry leader Bradlee Dean on the group’s radio show and a co-minister, was paid the allowance in the amount of $12,976 in 2008, the only year for which tax documents are available. According to another section of the 990 form, at least four other unnamed members of the ministry received a similar allowance totaling $54,532 in 2008.

YCRBYCH has an annual fund-raiser which is aided by some powerful friends in some high places.

One of the group’s biggest, most passionate and valuable supporters is Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota.  Bachmann, a Republican, was elected in 2006 and sits on the Financial Services Committee.  She and her husband Marcus own a mental healthcare practice in Stillwater called Bachmann and Associates, Inc., and, according to her bio on her website, in addition to their five children, “the Bachmanns have opened their home to 23 foster children.”

In that entire bio, not one word is mentioned about Bachmann’s religious beliefs — which, frankly, is as it should be.  But personal religious beliefs are such a significant part of Bachmann’s politics that leaving them out of her bio is as deceptive a tactic as those used by Bradlee Dean, because in the last four years, Bachmann has proven herself a religious zealot who uses her office to advance a theocratic Christian agenda.  And that agenda includes getting Bradlee Dean and You Can Run But You Cannot Hide, Inc. into public schools where it will have access to your children’s minds and can use its thought reform techniques to influence them.  According to Bachmann, this is a good thing — a very good thing.

Bachmann attends the group’s fundraisers and helps them raise money to do what they do.  At a YCRBYCH fundraiser at a Minneapolis hotel in October of 2006, she gave an impassioned prayer to her god on behalf of Bradlee Dean and his group.  It was a long prayer, but if you want to hear the whole thing, you can listen to it here.  Here are a few highlights:

Lord, I thank you for what you have done at this ministry … how you are going to advance them from 260 schools a year, Lord, to 2,600 schools a year. … Lord, we ask thy faith that you would expand this ministry beyond anything the originators of this ministry could begin to think or imagine.  Lord, the day is at hand!  We are in the last days!  The day is at hand, Lord, when your return will0 become nigh.  Pour a double blessing, Lord, a triple blessing on this ministry.

Remember, this is a United States Representative openly praising, through a prayer, a group that calls the execution of gay people “moral,” that deceptively weasels its way into public schools to engage in activities that violate the Constitution and feed outright lies to students.  Is there a chance that Bachmann is not aware of the group’s activities?  Surely she cannot support the idea of violating the Constitution by teaching Christianity in the public school system.

At that same YCRBYCH fundraiser in 2006, Bachmann complained that public schools “are teaching children that there is separation of church and state, and I am here to tell you that is a myth.  That’s not true.  And they (YCRBYCH) explain to children in the public school system what a myth that is.  And that’s what I love about this ministry. … We want kids to come to the truth and that’s why this ministry is so absolutely vital. We need them in every public school classroom across the state to tell young people, ‘You Can Run But You Cannot Hide.’” (The emphasis is mine.)

Bachmann was unable to attend the group’s 2009 fundraiser, called “Appeal to Heaven,” because she was busy saving the country from healthcare reform, but she did send a videotaped message.  “It a tough job that you do, but someone has to do it,” she said in the prerecorded message.  “I thank god that he has given you the strength and the resolve to fight for our timeless values. … We can’t overlook the outright rejection of god in the public school classroom, and the outright scorn of Christianity in our public square.  Moral relativism is exalted and faith in Christ is derided.”

The program included a sermon by Dean in which he called his followers to war:

We are a Christian nation regardless if you like that or not.  The Bible says we are called as ministers of the flame, the fire.  We are called to war.  We are called to fight the good fight of faith.  In other words, what I’m trying to say is, I’m a trouble maker, okay?  It’s time to say, “We are done complaining, and it’s time to start fighting.”  But you say, “I don’t know what what I’m going to look like with a sword in my hand.”  You are going to look great! … We are not a land of liberals.  We hear this all the time.  Why don’t you just call them for what they are?  Criminals.  Why don’t you just call them for what they are?  Socialists.  They are contrary to our Constitution. … We are not a land of homosexuals.  God said “Adam and Eve” not “Adam and Steve.”

He ended by telling the attendees, “You guys, you got just a little bit of the message we give to youth all across the nation.”

And Bradlee Dean has the full support of Representative Michele Bachmann in all of this, in everything he’s saying and doing, in taking his message “to youth all across the nation,” and in being paid tax dollars to do it — even though it violates the constitutional separation of church and state.

This is not too surprising when you consider the fact that Bachmann and Associates, Inc., the “counseling center” owned by Michele and her husband Dr. Marcus Bachmann, has received nearly $30,000 in state funds since 2007.  That’s troubling in light of how Dr. Bachmann himself describes the center and the work it does during a 2008 broadcast on KKMS radio (MP3):  “We are distinctly a Christian counseling agency here in the Twin Cities.  We have 27 Christian counselors, Christ-centered, very strong in our understanding of who the almighty counselor is, and as we rely on god’s word and the almighty counselor, we have the opportunity to change people’s lives.”

Alex Luchenitser, staff attorney for Americans United for Separation of Church and State, told the Minnesota Independent, “Unless they are receiving money purely through vouchers, this is clearly unconstitutional.”  The state of Minnesota does not have a voucher system.  Luchenitser continues:  “It’s wrong for the government to buy clinical services that include submission to god or proselytization.  This appears to be a textbook case of taxpayers funds for religious purposes. … It sounds like employees have to be Christian to work in the clinic. That would be religious discrimination.”

Apparently, Michele Bachmann has no problem with the unconstitutional appropriation of tax dollars, so it’s not surprising that she supports it in the case of YCRBYCH.  But Bachmann is not alone in supporting the group.

That same 2009 “Appeal to Heaven” fundraiser for YCRBYCH was attended by Minnesota State Representative and 2010 Minnesota Republica-endorsed gubenatorial candidate Tom Emmer.  However, Emmer did not mention his attendance at the fundraiser in a list of appearances that week that was emailed to supporters.  To its article about Emmer’s appearance at the YCRBYCH fundraiser, the Minnesota Independent added this update:

Emmer’s campaign told the Minnesota Independent, “Rep. Tom Emmer stopped by the event for a social hour before the dinner and program.  The program is headquartered out of Wright County which is Rep. Emmer’s county and has many supporters in Tom’s legislative district.  It was not mentioned in the campaign update because it was not a campaign event.”

While it’s true that the YCRBYCH fundraiser was not a “campaign event,” that only underscores the fact that Emmer was there because he supports the work of Bradlee Dean and the group!  Emmer was there to throw his support behind a group that calls the president and everyone who supports him, along with all Americans who happen to hold liberal views, and all homosexuals criminals.  And that wasn’t the end of Emmer’s support of YCRBYCH.

From a May 25, 2010 article in the Minnesota Independent:

The Minnesota House campaign of Rep. Tom Emmer donated to the ministry of You Can Run But You Cannot Hide Intl., Inc., according to the press secretary for Emmer’s gubernatorial campaign.  Emmer is one of several Republican leaders involved with the ministry of Bradlee Dean, who leads a hard rock band that brings its message of Jesus Christ into public schools and recently affirmed the practice of Muslim countries executing gays and lesbians.

Emmer’s campaign finance report (PDF) states that Emmer’s campaign donated $250 to YCRBYCH in late 2008.  Emmer’s press secretary, Chris Van Guilder, explains, “Tom’s house campaign committee did donate to the organization, but not Tom personally.”  A good follow-up question, which was not asked, would have been, “What the hell difference does that make?”

Emmer has gotten very chummy with Bradlee Dean and YCRBYCH.  He has been a guest on Dean’s radio show — the same radio show on which Dean stated that the practice of killing gay people was “moral.”  He’s posed for pictures with the leaders of YCRBYCH and spent time at the home of Bradlee Dean.  In fact, it seems Emmer has become a little too cozy with the group.  Remember that $250 donation?  It was $150 over the legal limit.

In May of this year, Emmer’s gubenatorial campaign announced that it had notified the Minnesota Campaign Finance Board of the violation.  But don’t worry, it’s fine, because Emmer’s campaign managed to come up with a clever explanation for the whole thing that makes it okay.  They say it wasn’t a donation but was “used to purchase tickets for volunteers of Tom’s House Campaign to attend a dinner event.”  See?  All better now!

So, is Emmer fully aware of the activities and views of Bradlee Dean and YCRBYCH?  After Emmer stated on the radio that he thought it was the duty of Christians to kill gay people, Emmer’s campaign released this slippery statement:

You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International is a ministry based in Annandale, a few miles north of Tom’s home town Delano.  As a representative of the Wright County area, Tom has met with many, perhaps most of the residents of the area, and has doorknocked across the county.  Tom did meet Bradlee Dean while campaigning, and may have doorknocked his house.  Tom has also appeared on AM1280 and KKMS, including on Bradlee Dean’s radio show.  Tom has appeared on many other radio stations and shows as well.  Tom is not a donor to the You Can Run But You Cannot Hide ministry, and has never appeared as a spokesman at one of their fundraising events.  He did attend a meet-and-greet before a fundraising event held by the ministry to mingle with the hundreds of attendees.  Tom’s position on social issues has been very clear and consistent.  He is a supporter of traditional marriage, and he strongly opposes any kind of violence or unfair discrimination against any group.

He “doorknocked” Dean’s house?  Okay, for the moment, let’s say that Emmer just accidentally showed up at Bradlee Dean’s home.  But he’s also appeared on Dean’s radio show — a show that is very specific in its tone and content, a show that exists primarily as a forum for Dean to spout his hateful bigotry and incitements to violence and murder.  Simply shrugging it off because Emmer “has appeared on many other radio stations and shows” is the equivalent of shouting, “So long, suckers!” and dancing away in tap shoes.  What exactly does “has never appeared as a spokesman at one of their fundraising events” mean?  A spokesman for what?  This is rank evasion, the sleaziest kind of smoke-and-mirrors bullshit.  What he appeared at the fundraiser as is irrelevant — what’s relevant is that he appeared at the fundraiser!  He was there, he attended.  Does Emmer’s campaign assume that everyone who does not work for it is a mental inebriate?  Or does it assume that only of the people in Minnesota whose votes it so desperately wants?

If Emmer “strongly opposes any kind of violence or unfair discrimination against any group,” then why is he so friendly with — and why has he given money to — a man who openly advocates the murder of gay people and calls the sitting president and anyone whose political views don’t agree with his “criminals?”

Has Emmer himself made any statements about YCRBYCH? Oh, yes.  Yes, he has.

“My understanding is that it’s a Christian-based ministry that’s about family, that is about respect for yourself,” he said, as if he’s only vaguely familiar with the group and isn’t quite sure what it stands for.  “I know that they’re a pro-marriage, pro-traditional marriage group.”  That’s the best you can do, Tom?  “These are nice people.”  Ha! “Are we going to agree on everything? No. … I really appreciate their passion, and you know what?  I respect their point of view.  I respect their right to have whatever view.  That’s what makes it a great country.  You don’t have to agree with it.”

The mind boggles.  This is a group that advocates the mass murder of gay people, but Minnesota State Representative and Republican-endorsed candidate for governor Tom Emmer respects their point of view.  What a guy, huh?

But back to Emmer’s visit to Dean’s house.  His campaign claims Emmer “may have doorknocked” Dean’s house.  Dean himself said on his radio show, “Congratulations, Tom Emmer.  By the way, he’s been out to my house and I told him, ‘You’ll to do fine as long as you do what you say you are going to do.’  And we are going to hold his feet to the fire on this.”  Does that sound like a reference to a “doorknock?”  (And does Tom Emmer understand that, given everything else this lunatic has said, he may very well mean that threat literally?)

Am I the only one smelling the foul odor of decaying sea life, here?

But Bachmann and Emmer are just two of the individuals who so strongly support YCRBYCH.  The group has garnered the enthusiastic support of the Republican party in and outside the state of Minnesota.  From the Minnesota Independent:

The ministry has become increasingly cozy with Minnesota Republicans.  During the past few months, (YCRBYCH) has attended two Republican Party of Minnesota events and garnered the support of top Republican officials:  The group participated in Bachmann’s campaign kickoff and fundraiser with Sarah Palin on April 7, where it set up a booth.  (YCRBYCH) also had a booth at the Republican Party of Minnesota State Convention in late April — using space donated by the party, Dean says — where it greeted the party’s endorsed candidate for governor, Rep. Tom Emmer.  Emmer attended the (YCRBYCH) fundraiser in late 2009.  Dean says Minnesota GOP chair Tony Sutton invited the ministry to attend.

During Bradlee Dean’s and Jake McMillian’s radio broadcast (MP3) the day after the convention, McMillian said, “We were at the GOP, the GOP saw what we do and they identified with it.  Even when I was sitting down with Tony Sutton and just going over what we do as a ministry, I said to him, ‘Do you know any other groups that are reaching the demographic we are reaching with the message that we are?’  And, of course, it was blink-blink, ‘No, I don’t, so I want you guys a part of this convention with us.’  And then they invited and they gave us a free table.  Amen.”

As well as heading up the Republican Party of Minnesota, Tony Sutton strongly supports controversial legislation SB1070, a copycat of the Arizona law that has received international criticism for its racial profiling.  From Twin Cities Indymedia:

In a series of protests at the Uptown restaurant, SEIU (Service Employees International Union) Local 26 members and organizers rallied to call attention to a critical contradiction — Baja Sol is a fast food restaurant that sells Mexican food and employs Latino and Latina workers, yet owner Tony Sutton openly supports politically extreme anti-Mexican legislation.  As Local 26 highlights, this blatant hypocrisy means that enthusiasm for one popular facet of Mexican American culture is financing the politics of Mexican-American exclusion and criminalization.  Baja Sol did not respond to a request for comment on these allegations.

Americans were stunned by Arizona’s punitive and highly controversial legislation, SB 1070, which requires law enforcement to institute racial profiling. Gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer publically praised the Minnesota copycat bill calling it “a wonderful first step.”

“A wonderful first step,” Tom?  What’s the next step, executing them the way your “nice” pal Bradlee Dean thinks “moral” people should execute homosexuals?  No wonder you guys get along so well!  This is turning out to be quite a group.  When I’m done writing this, I think I’m going to need to take a long shower and scrub very hard.

So, to recap, Bradlee Dean and YCRBYCH have the full support of Republican Representative Michelle Bachman, Minnesota State Representative and Republican-endorsed candidate for governor Tom Emmer, and the entire Republican Party of Minnesota all the way up to the guy at the top, Tony Sutton.  But there’s another prominent group that lends its support to Dean and his crew:  The Heritage Foundation.

According to The Heritage Foundation’s website, “The Heritage Foundation is a research and educational institution — a think tank — whose mission is to formulate and promote conservative public policies based on the principles of free enterprise, limited government, individual freedom, traditional American values, and a strong national defense.”

Traditional American values like killing queers, maybe? Or traditional American values like arresting and jailing those who have political views that differ from yours?  I only ask because the Heritage Foundation has a relationship with Bradlee Dean and YCRBYCH.  Remember that radio broadcast in which Dean and McMillian praised the government of Malawi for arresting that gay couple?  That broadcast — which you can hear at this link (MP3) — originated from the Heritage Foundation.  Dean and McMillian were at the Heritage Foundation while they were saying that jailing people for their sexuality was “very moral.”

Remember, the Heritage Foundation’s “mission is to formulate and promote conservative public policies.”  It was a primary architect of the Reagan Doctrine during the final years of the Cold War.  Since then, the foundation has been very active in shaping both foreign and domestic policy and was behind Newt Gingrich’s 1994 “Contract with America.”  In 2009, it ranked fifth on the list of the most influential think tanks in America in Foreign Policy magazine.  And it hosts Bradlee Dean and Jake McMillian as they describe as “very moral” the arrest and imprisonment of people for their sexuality.  Wrap your head around that.  There’s nothing on the Heritage Foundation’s website about imprisoning gay people, but apparently it has no problem with the idea.

An interesting side note about Michele Bachmann.  In October of 2008, she appeared on Hardball with Chris Matthews and said the following about Barack Obama:

If we look at the collection of friends that Barack Obama has had in his life, it calls into question what Barack Obama’s true beliefs and values and thoughts are.  His attitudes, values, and beliefs with Jeremiah Wright on his view of the United States … is negative; Bill Ayers, his negative view of the United States.  We have seen one friend after another call into question his judgment — but also, what it is that Barack Obama really believes?

Interesting reasoning, Michele. Does that apply only to Barack Obama? Only to liberals? Or does it apply to you and your friends? In the same broadcast, she expressed concern about “anti-American” Americans, especially in Congress.  She said:

I would say, what I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look — I wish they would.  I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America?  I think the people would love to see an expose like that.

Obviously, Bachmann has a very specific idea of what is “anti-American” — like liberals (“criminals” according to the man she so actively supports and prays for, Bradlee Dean) and gay people (predatory molesters, according to Dean, whose group she helps fund).  But how American is it to deceptively subvert the Constitution of the United States?  Bachmann does this in two ways — that we know of.  She blatantly lies when she says there is no separation of church and state and then supports and helps fund a group that has to lie to get into public schools and violate the Constitution, which maintains a separation of church and state.  She and her husband own a business that they openly admit is a Christian counseling center — it even has clergy on the staff! — but they collect state funds, which also violates the Constitution.

On the other hand, the only crimes committed by the people Bachmann calls “un-American” are that they disagree with her politically, most likely religiously, and some of them are gay.  Does this add up?  Which part of this equation is truly un-American?

Maybe a “penetrating expose” would be a good idea.  Maybe a hard investigation into this is just what we need.  But who should be investigated?  Why don’t we start with Bradlee Dean?

We’ve seen again and again that conservative Christians who beat the anti-gay drum usually have some underlying problems.  Remember Senator Larry Craig?  He was rigidly anti-gay, worked hard to legislate against gay rights — and he got caught looking for blowjobs in an airport men’s room.  Remember Reverend Ted Haggard?  He oversaw a megachurch in Colorado and was a bigshot Republican, a personal friend of George W. Bush, and he was virulently anti-gay — and then we found out he’d been snorting meth off the back of the male prostitute he was boning and was trying to cover up a gay relationship with someone in his church.  More recently, Dr. George Rekers, one of the country’s leading homophobes, a man who believed homosexuality could be “cured,” practiced horrifying methods of ungaying people, fought the rights of gays to adopt children, and probably did more damage to gay people than any other individual in America, was caught taking a barely legal male prostitute he’d found on Rentboy.com to Europe with him and get naked and nasty for 10 days.  There seems to be a lot of Freudian projection going on among these guys — the act of projecting one’s own failings, traits and hang-ups on others.

So … what is Bradlee Dean up to?  He seems to be awfully hung up on homosexuality — and on the idea that gay people are predators who “molest 117 people before they’re found out.”  Who is he screwing?  And how old are they?  And then there’s his bad habit of lying to suck up taxpayer dollars for activities that violate the Constitution.  On top of all that, he’s sounding like he’s eager to see some blood spilled.  How about investigating him?

Is it just my imagination, or is there enough reason here to investigate Michele Bachmann?  She’s lending strong support to Bradlee’s group and its unconstitutional, hateful and violence-inciting activities.  She and her husband are also engaged in some unconstitutional activity themselves with Bachmann and Associates, Inc., using state funding to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ in the guise of psychological counseling.  Why doesn’t somebody investigate her? How about investigating Bachmann and Associates, Inc.?

How about investigating Tom Emmer, Tony Sutton, the Republican Party of Minnesota and the Heritage Foundation for having such a cozy relationship with the deceptive, hateful, Constitution-violating, murder-inciting, un-American group You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, Inc.?

Most of this information has come from the hard work of reporter Andy Birkey at the Minnesota Independent.  It seems he’s the only person reporting on this.  Where is the “liberal media” we hear so much about?  You know, the media that hates America and the military and Jesus and motherhood and only covers stories that make the country look bad and only praises depravity and immorality and the “gay agenda?”  It seems to me this story is right up the “liberal media’s” alley!  But there’s no coverage at all.  That might have something to do with the fact that the “liberal media” exists only in the minds of those who tell and believe that lie. If it weren’t a lie, the “liberal media” would be all over this story like lint on velvet.

Obviously, we can’t depend on the media to address this problem.  But somebody needs to.  Bradlee Dean and You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, Inc., with the considerable, formidable help of people like Representative Michele Bachmann, Minnesota State Representative Tom Emmer, the Republican Party of Minnesota and its chairman Tony Sutton, and the Heritage Foundation, will only continue to spread this message of hate, targeting young, impressionable minds.  The goal of all of these people is, as I’ve stated before, to abolish the United States Constitution, to implement a Christian theocracy, and then either arrest or kill everyone they don’t like.  Given all the information above, I really don’t think I’m being an alarmist.  These people are obviously determined to do this — they are doing it, and they are using our public schools and taxpayer money to do it.  Worse, they are getting away with it.  It’s not being reported or addressed, and it’s not being given any significant resistance — because so few people know about it!  That leaves it up to us.  You and me.

The first thing you have to do, as Howard Beale said in the 1976 movie Network, is get mad. You’ve gotta get mad as hell.  And if what you’ve read here doesn’t make you mad … well, then maybe there’s no hope.  But if, as I hope, it does anger you, then start talking about it.  Tell your friends.  Send people to this blog by posting and emailing links.  Send this blog to local like-minded radio talk show hosts and urge them to discuss this unseen, unspoken, and pretty scary threat.

Go to Michele Bachmann’s website or her Facebook page, go to Tom Emmer’s site or his Tom Emmer for Governor site or his Facebook page, go to the Minnesota GOP contact page for Tony Sutton’s contact info and email all of these people.  Let them know that you know — and that you don’t like it.  Tell them that unless they unambiguously denounce Bradlee Dean and You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, Inc., for it’s murder-condoning hatred, you will assume that their views are directly in line with Dean’s and his group’s.  If you don’t want to write letters, then just send them a link to this blog and a note telling them that you agree with it.  Then write to your own representatives.  Let them know about this and tell them how you feel about it.  Demand that someone look into it, that it be stopped.

These people are serious.  America is a secular nation, no matter how loudly or often the Bradlee Deans and Michele Bachmanns say otherwise. It has a secular government that recognizes and enforces no religion but welcomes people of all religions or no religion.  But these people are not happy with the freedom to believe and worship as they please.  They want to make America a Christian nation in the same way that Iran is a Muslim nation that enforces the laws of the Muslim religion.  They want to tear up the Constitution and replace it with a Christian theocracy that will enforce the laws of the Christian faith — and severely punish those who break them.  They are working hard toward this goal, and they’ve got a lot of money and people and other resources at their disposal.  If you want to stop them, then you’re going to have to speak up!

They will hide behind their bible and their Jesus.  They will deny saying and doing the things they’ve said and done because they lie with astonishing ease — for them, the “truth” is whatever they need it to be at any given time.  And then they will continue to say and do those things.  They are either true believers of their religion or they are using it the way a con artist uses his charms — either way, it doesn’t matter, because their goal remains the same.

Edmund Burke wrote, “When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.”  Bad people are combining and they are adding to their numbers and their war chests.

Don’t fall.

Time now for a little “making fun” because this is so utterly stupid looking. As I have seen from a couple of fundie friends and distant relatives’ Facebook postings, it is become more and more common for some groups to have baptisms in hot tubs and swimming pools (public or private, whatever they can get). After the “saved” person gets “dunked” he and/or she are congratulated as if the person has done something spectacular in life by just being submerged in hot/tepid/cold water (when you and I both know all that nothing magical has happened. All that happens is that the one being baptized gets wet). And as usual, they don’t realize how absolutely ridiculous they look. YouTube has dozens of hot tub and swimming pool baptisms, and they are all equally bizarre.

First we have a little kid being baptized in a hot tub. Most likely he doesn’t even understand what is going on, except that it is something he’s been brainwashed to do by his kooky parents.

And here are people getting baptized in a swimming pool, complete with beach balls floating in the background.

While we are on the topic of baptism, I must confess that I have been baptized not once, but TWICE. Yes, twice. I was sprinkled with Lutheran water when I was a baby, and was dunked in a tank of ice cold water when my family briefly belonged to a Baptist church when I was a teenager (pretty much went through that because of peer pressure from the teen group I belonged to). And after two magical rituals in my life with praying people invoking an invisible gawd to keep me his forever, here I am today, a staunch atheist.

Addition: Baptism in a bathtub…there are several on YouTube. Listen to the murmurings of the borg in the background around 3:21 on this one. Creepy.

The pope and these creepy ghouls at the Vatican are claiming they want to “improve he church’s relationship with non-believers”, but as we all know, what this really is is a sneaky, underhanded attempt to convert us and bring what they perceive as lost sheep back into the fold. Well, I say, no thanks!

The Vatican is planning a new initiative to reach out to atheists and agnostics in an attempt to improve the church’s relationship with non-believers. Pope Benedict XVI has ordered officials to create a new foundation where atheists will be encouraged to meet and debate with some of the Catholic Church’s top theologians.

But the ones who can really make points and take the church theologians to task, like Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins, will not be invited.

The Vatican hopes to stage a series of debates in Paris next year. But militant non-believers hoping for a chance to set senior church figures straight about the existence of God are set to be disappointed: the church has warned that atheists with high public profiles such as Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens will not be invited.

Perhaps that is because the Pope and his delusional entourage feel that they will not be able to stand up to such “militant atheists” or perhaps they feel such “militant atheists” are a lost cause for conversion.

“We, as believers, must have at heart even those people who consider themselves agnostics or atheists,” he said. “When we speak of a New Evangelization, these people are perhaps taken aback. They do not want to see themselves as an object of mission or to give up their freedom of thought and will. Yet the question of God remains present even for them, even if they cannot believe in the concrete nature of his concern for us.”

And they still try, try, try to make it like we really do believe, we just don’t know it. If they were really truly interested in our viewpoints they would understand that the “question of God” is only present for us because god believers always have an underlying evangelistic plot to bring us to their beliefs. Well, Dawkins and Hitchens or not, we will still ask the difficult questions…the first one being why the fuck don’t you get your own house in order before attempting to reach out to anyone?

We all recall that nonsense back in 2005, when Muslims protested the Jyllands-Posten cartoons. Protest? Madness, more like. It illustrated the issues of religion (and one specifically that keeps hollering that it’s a ‘religion of peace’), the dark dank fingers of imaginary friendships with invisible people stirring up and brings out the worst of the reptilian hindbrain.

And now, we have more issues – apparently the accomodationists are out in force, weeping politically correct crocodile tears over the hurt feelings of ignorant millions.

Yesterday a number of cartoonists and activists around the world partook in "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day." The campaign encouraged people to submit caricatures of the Muslim prophet Muhammad to Facebook and the Internet at large (which resulted in Pakistan temporarily banning Facebook). It was billed as a free speech statement against recent threats toward cartoonists and entertainers for portraying the religious figure. Some commentators, however, found it tasteless and needlessly offensive toward Muslims, many of whom consider drawing Mohammad to be blasphemous.

Political Cartoonists Are Split, reports Michael Cavna at The Washington Post:

"Shock for shock’s sake." "Choreographed punditry." And "wrong, childish and needlessly provocative." That’s what some critics think of Thursday’s Facebook-ignited campaign titled "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day." But those aren’t Islamic extremists speaking. Those are the words of pro-free-speech political cartoonists…

As far as I care, pouting and hurt feelings are for children.

But petition signee Mark Fiore, whose clients include SFGate.com, says his political animation Thursday will incorporate Muhammad. And noted Islamic critic Ayaan Hirsi Ali, whose book "Nomad: From Islam to America" was published this week, says the protest "is a positive campaign" that can "promote self-reflection among Muslims."

And yes, Ayaan Hirsi Ali has been the target of death threats. So has prominent critic Salman Rushdie. And no, these aren’t isolated examples – people are genuinely afraid to leave this barbaric anachronism.

The Case For Everybody Draw Mohammed Day

Why This Is an Important Campaign  According to Mark Goldblatt at Reason:

Our tip-toeing around Islamic sensibilities is nothing more than plain, old-fashioned cowardice. MSNBC stooge Lawrence O’Donnell, for example, repeatedly slandered Mormonism during the 2008 presidential campaign as a sidebar to his creepily obsessive verbal jihad against then-candidate Mitt Romney. But when asked by radio host Hugh Hewitt whether he would insult Muhammad the way he’d insulted Joseph Smith, O’Donnell replied with rare candor: “Oh, well, I’m afraid of what the… that’s where I’m really afraid. I would like to criticize Islam much more than I do publicly, but I’m afraid for my life if I do. … I’m not going to say a word about them." That’s the problem in a nutshell. But it’s not just O’Donnell’s problem. It’s our problem. America’s problem. The West’s problem. We lack the moral courage to walk the walk.

Cartoonist Split Proves Benefit  National Review’s Veronique de Rugy reflects on the cartoonist who regrets proposing the idea at all. "Isn’t the existence of the cartoonist’s fear even more reason to come up with ideas like hers?" De Rugy praises "courage and commitment to free speech."

We’re Fighting For Free Speech  Reason’s Matt Welch recalls the Dutch cartoon controversy. "It is unconscionable that–under murderous duress!–those in the free speechin’ business would suddenly cede the authority to depict a really existing historical figure to a loud minority’s religious preferences. … by reprinting one of the cartoons, we would be demonstrating solidarity not with the sentiments contained within it, but with the foundational notion that people ought to be able to publish stuff like that (and worse), period, let alone without fear of having their heads lopped off." He later writes, "in a free society, every day is Everybody Draw Mohammed Day."

• And of course, the PC apologists blather their usual nonsense:

The Case Against Everybody Draw Mohammed Day

It’s Needlessly Insensitive, counters Wonkette’s Ken Layne: "To equate the bizarre/violent behavior of a handful of fanatics with the cultural-religious traditions and harmless taboos of a billion of the world’s people, well that’s about as dumb as T.P.ing your neighborhood Sunday School because you don’t like Fred Phelps." He accuses proponents of "childishly prodding angry, impoverished people into rage and violence so you can snicker from the safety of your computer."

Well, actually, it’s not a handful of fanatics. Riots occur  over stupid reasons. This happens quite frequently, in fact. Obviously Layne is using selective perception.

• Offending For No Reason Ann Althouse sighs, "I have endless contempt for the threats/warnings against various cartoonists who draw Muhammad. … But depictions of Muhammad offend millions of Muslims who are no part of the violent threats. In pushing back some people, you also hurt a lot of people who aren’t doing anything (other than protecting their own interests by declining to pressure the extremists who are hurting the reputation of their religion)."
• Jury’s in: Ann’s a moron.By ‘declining to pressure extremists’, that’s also called ‘enabling’ in rehab code.
  • Conservative blogger Erick Erickson adds, "On drawing Mohammed, I’d be offended if ppl had a day to mock my Lord, so why reciprocate? ‘Course I w/n go killing ppl who mocked Jesus."

‘Nuff said.

Why It Unreasonably Offends  Christian Science Monitor’s Husna Haq explains, "I am Muslim and I am American. I love my Prophet Mohammed, and I love my First Amendment right to free speech." However:

To depict him in a bear suit or with a pig snout – as he has been in two recent cartoons – is free speech, yes, but it is intensely offensive. It betrays a willful determination to refuse to see the world through Muslims eyes – to understand how innately the Prophet is loved by his followers and how profoundly flippant disrespect for him wounds us.

Well, killing people in Muhammed’s name (PB&J be upon him) counts as a helluva lot more than some hurt feelings.

Imagine Martin Luther King Jr. portrayed as a monkey and you begin to understand the depth of Muslims’ revulsion to such images.

Since there’s nobody up there, it hardly matters. What’s important, is what’s going on in the here and now.

In Islam, as in Judaism, iconography is prohibited out of fear that creating images of sacred figures could lead to dependence on, and even worship of, icons rather than God. The Prophet lifted his people from the worship of many gods to love for the one God. To depict him is to violate a fundamental tenet of Islam as a joke.

And I say there is no disrespect – because there is no Allah, no Jehovah, no Vishnu, no Krishna. Brahma is a bull and Jehovah a joke. It is time for people to realize that time spent on their knees murmuring is wasted time: there is no one up there listening. That all these ‘holy texts’ are curios only, no longer cautionary tales nor tenets to live by in this world of today.

If you listen closely, you can almost hear the metaphorical timbers shaking in the house that illusion built.

Till the next post, then.

It’s not just the Muslim fundamentalists who get irate about cartoons. Slovakia’s Prime Minister Robert Fico is suing for an apology and €33,000 ($43,000.00) for a political cartoon, drawn by Martin “Shooty” Sutovec for the SME Daily newspaper, that mocked the Prime Minister’s health by suggesting he didn’t have a backbone.

Here is the cartoon which is posted on Daryl Cagle’s cartoon website:

Cagle writes:

Editorial cartoons are the best measure of a country’s freedom; cartoonists are barred from drawing their leaders in many countries around the world. Lawsuits from insulted politicians like Fico are typical in authoritarian regimes that claim to have a free press but can’t bear criticism. The government in Algeria claims to have a free press while officials often sue editorial cartoonists in civil court –- a common practice in Arab countries. It is disappointing to see third world style repression in an EU country like Slovakia, which should have higher standards.