The P-Spot: How Anal Are The Religious Right About Certain Behaviors?
1 March 2009 by KA
One of the stranger fixations of the religious is on behavior – specifically sexual behavior. It is, after all, why they’re so threatened by evolution. Sex is at the heart of evolution, and as a by-product, it is also at the heart of the human condition.
One of the constant nonsenses that the religious spout is that specifically, anal sex is ‘unnatural’. One protest among many against the homosexual lifestyle.
While this is an unhealthy practice, anyone can skew an analysis to show that all sexual behavior is unhealthy. Because let’s face facts, we’re pretty much an unsanitary species. We’re shot through and through with bacteria, benign and malign. Hell, human bites are among the top 10 percentile of infectious bites (among mammals). Our entertainment centers are located smack dab in the middle of a waste disposal plant. Having sex with the wrong person in the wrong way regardless of gender can wreck your liver. The list goes on.
Still, I try to abide by Tennessee Williams’ words, ”Nothing human disgusts me.”
So I was flashing back on an old blogversation from about 3 years ago. I challenged the religious fellow to try out the old Asian pearl trick. (This is an item I read about 30 years back in Penthouse – yes, some of us DID read the articles!) I have on occasion used this on religious bloggers, when they whip out that tired refrain that the ‘anus is only for one thing!’ I challenge them to try it out with their wives. 9 out of 10 times, there’s a vast silence.
Being a 50 year old male, I’ve been researching the prostate, as it is a danger zone for men. (No, not that kind of research, getcher mind outta the gutter. Let’s just say, that when my doctor examined me, I’m surprised I didn’t break his finger, and leave it at that.)
Somehow, I stumbled on the subject of prostate massage.
For something that’s designated for only one purpose, this comes as a surprise to most men, I’ll warrant:
Prostate massage and prostate milking are terms used to describe the massage or stimulation of the prostate gland in males, either for medical or sexual purposes.
The prostate, also known as the “P-spot” or the “male G-spot,” takes part of the sexual response cycle in males, and is a key contributor to male orgasm. Located adjacent to the anterior rectal wall, it can be stimulated manually. Fluids collected in the prostate are released during orgasm.
And, like any sexual behavior, it involves some serious risk factors:
Prostate massage is part of the digital rectal examination (DRE) routinely given to men by urologists in order to look for nodules of prostate cancer and to obtain expressed prostatic secretions (EPS) for examination under microscope.
In the late 1990s, some doctors tried prostate massage in conjunction with antibiotics for the treatment of chronic bacterial prostatitis with uncertain results.[1][2] In recent trials, however, prostate massage was not shown to improve outcomes compared to antibiotics alone.[3] As a consequence of these findings, prostate massage is not used in the treatment of any medical disorder today, and prostate massage should never be performed on patients with acute prostatitis, because the infection can spread elsewhere in the body if massage is performed.[4]
In addition, prostate massage can be risky. Some of the documented consequences are life-threatening periprostatic hemorrhage,[5] cellulitis, Fournier’s gangrene,[6] septicaemia, possible disturbance and metastasis of prostate cancer to other parts of the body, and hemorrhoidal flare-up.
This specific paragraph caught my eye, however:
Electroejaculation is a procedure in which nerves are stimulated via an electric probe, which is inserted into the rectum adjacent to the prostate. It is most commonly encountered in animal husbandry for the purpose of collecting semen samples for testing or breeding.
I’d say we can fairly rule out the Amish in regards to this practice, but I wonder – how many good Christian farmers utilize this technique? (Somehow, I get this image of these two ‘good ole boys’ chewing their wheat stalks and watching ‘Will And Grace’ – “Goddam queers”, “Yup, hey Jebediah, time to go milk the bull. C’mon.”)
The long and short of it is – we are highly complex creatures, both physically and mentally, and no amount of simplistic reductionism can change that.
So – let the innuendo begin.
This is the Apostate, signing out.
1 March 2009, on 4:47 am
I’m gay and can tell those religious crazies the anus is absolutely not designed for just one thing! Glad you call them out on it…
And when they use the “it’s not healthy” argument I admonish them for the churches anti condom message, for the churches promotion of alcohol and for their own individual foibles. Usually shuts them up.
1 March 2009, on 8:40 am
I laughed when a blind co-worker told me he could no longer get Playboy magazine on tape from the National Library Service, because of objections from the fundies about their tax dollars being used for such a thing. If anyone can honestly say he only reads it for the articles, it’s the blind man who gets it on tape!
Braille might be different.
Meanwhile, all straight people are equipped, at least partially, for anal sex. Calling us gay folks out for it exhibits yet another, more selective form of blindness.
1 March 2009, on 9:16 am
It’s not their cup o’ tea, but they’re trying to ban tea.
1 March 2009, on 11:20 am
That was an interesting read that only a non-Christian (non-Christian is almost synoymous with ‘adult’, so please use them interchangeably) could appreciate as useful. Certainly, if all men are so equipped with this form of pleasure, then I agree with Thomas and have to assume that where there’s a form of pleasure, there will be many takers. I guess straight men are the ones in the closet on this one.
1 March 2009, on 7:00 pm
While this IS an unhealthy practice
KA,
Are you referring specifically to anal sex in this statement? From all the information I’ve ever read or heard about anal sex the practice is NOT unhealthy if done properly with lubricant, condom and mutual consent. Many monogamous couples enjoy the practice without any added health risks.
Our species has over-sanitized its world to the point of our children getting asthma from lack of exposure to good old-fashioned dirt. A healthy immune system can deal with a lot of bacteria and yet we are constantly being told to wash, scrub, disinfect, sanitize until we can’t even enjoy a trip to the museum without carrying a bottle of sanitizer with us every where.
1 March 2009, on 8:13 pm
Lynda:
When you’re messing about w/fecal matter – would you prefer I say ‘unsanitary’? Howzabout ‘of the normal variety’? I thought I surrounded it w/enough qualifiers.
In the case of acute prostatitis or hemorrhoids, it IS an unhealthy practice. 1 slip, & boom! you have hepatitis.
1 March 2009, on 8:15 pm
That’s hilariously stupid, & stupidly hilarious.
1 March 2009, on 9:38 pm
I shake my head at Christians who complain that condoms and other forms of birth control are “unnatural.” They don’t seem to have problems getting around in cars, planes and trains, which are “unnatural” forms of transportation. They eagerly embrace the Internet and engage in text messaging. Those are artificial forms of communication. In fact, compared to our hunter-gatherer ancestors, so much of what we do or use is “unnatural”. And yet, for these clods, artificial means are perfectly fine except when it comes to matters of human sexuality.
2 March 2009, on 12:32 am
I just found this over at Crooks and Liars and had to share with my mates. “God Will F U up”
NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyJaZn5tMDM&feature=related
The idea that the blind would be singled out is just about as low as you can get. But I’ve been thinking of it this way lately. They are not really able to live in freedom so the religious can’t be true Americans and can certainly not state an oath to the constitution. Honestly. Maybe we true patriots need to organize an outreach program to educate them. Lets start with the children.
2 March 2009, on 1:58 am
KA, in the porn world, they’re required (or at least strongly pressured) to use an enema before doing any anal scene. If normal couples use that, along with condoms, then it’s a little more sanitary then just jamming it in.
That said, as in Clerks 2, it’s never okay to go ass to mouth. *smile*
2 March 2009, on 11:25 am
Tommykey;
I would go a little further by stating that the prevalence of homosexual behavior in the animal world suggests that it is anything but (butt, hee hee) “unnatural.” If one is defining “unnatural” as “against God’s plan,” then I would argue that xtains need to make a case that all of the technilogical advances you named are “part of God’s plan.”
2 March 2009, on 3:47 pm
A bishop is visiting the churches on his turf and encounters Father Flannigan at Our Lady of Perpetual Motion. The priest is visibly uncomfortable and asks the bishop to listed to a few confessions while he relieves himself.
“But Father Flannigan, “protested the bishop, “I haven’t listened to confessions for decades!”
“There’s really nothing to it,” comforted Father Flannigan. “I have an excel spreadsheet in the confessional. All you have to do is match up the sin with the pennance and you’re ready to rock and roll.”
The bishop agreed.
The next parishoner told the bishop that he’d had anal sex with his girlfriend. The bishop consulted Father Flannigan’s spreadsheet. Although there were pennances for all kinds of lustfull sins, anal sex wasn’t mentioned. He cracked open the door of the confessional and spoke to one of the altar boys.
“Hey Billy, what does Father Flannigan usually give for anal sex.”
“Usually, it’s milk and cookies.”
2 March 2009, on 4:16 pm
Religion is great at creating sexual taboos. While i do not enjoy having anything inserted in my anus (i have a hell of a time convincing myself that doctors arent sadistic in this since – couldnt it be done by ultrasound or something?), I have come across women who enjoy it very much so. Some women have reported to me relieved constipation from ass play. Not for everyone, but to me it seems like nobody’s business what people do with their mouths, toys, and body parts. Unless of course it is nonconcensual
2 March 2009, on 9:36 pm
Thanks, Brooklyn. Hysterical!
3 March 2009, on 1:55 am
KA–
When having the gay discussion with religious folk, I like to bring up Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.
In this congenital condition, the person in question is, by all outward appearances, a woman. She has a vagina, breasts, all the other various female bits, except…
…XX chromasomes and functioning internal sex organs/gonads.
Yes, these individuals are chromasomally male. But en utero, they develop a lack of sensitivity to androgen, so at about 3 months, when the baby boy is supposed to devolop a who-who-dilly, this lack of androgens causes the baby to keep his default sexual organs–a vagina.
These people are typically raised female and identify themselves as such.
But they are, technically male.
They look like women, but never menstruate and cannot carry a pregnancy to term (they have no uterus, so not even artificial insemination works.)
So what are they? Man or woman. And who can they have sex with and still be considered straight? Who can they marry?
This usually makes they typical xtains’ head spin, and is often followed by “yeah, but fags are wrong…” or some such non-answer.
3 March 2009, on 3:12 pm
In the case of acute prostatitis or hemorrhoids, it IS an unhealthy practice. 1 slip, & boom! you have hepatitis.
Thank you for clarifying what you meant to state. Any sex can be unhealthy given pre-existing adverse conditions, not just anal sex.