The Religious Right are boo-hooing again
15 May 2008 by Stardust
With all the problems in the world, do the Religious Right get out there and actually roll up their sleeves and do something? No, they are stomping their feet because they can’t have their way with trying to mix religion and government again, as always.
LOST WEEKEND: RELIGIOUS RIGHT SEEKS TWO-DAY TEN COMMANDMENTS CONFAB
Rob Boston writes:
Bill Murray, chairman, founder and possibly the only member of something called the Religious Freedom Coalition, is carping because House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid won’t schedule a vote on a resolution authorizing a Ten Commandments Weekend that lauds the Decalogue as the source of our country’s laws.
“But [boo hoooo] with Nancy Pelosi in charge of the House and Harry Reid in charge of the Senate, we can’t have a voice, [booo hoooo (my emphasis)]” Murray groused to One News Now. “We can’t get these out and open and celebrate the Ten Commandments.”
Why not? If members of Murray’s church want to celebrate the Commandments and erect them for all to see, no one’s going to stop them. He could even stick them up in his back yard or make tiny versions into paperweights. Be creative. Knock yourself out, Bill.
But like Rob says, it’s never enough with these fundie types.
15 May 2008, on 12:53 am
Starting in the late ’80s, all the way up to about two years back- with occasional fits of nostalgia even now, I had ten commandments weekends just about every weekend. With gleeful adultery and praying to the porcelain god, blasphemously lying and flagrantly dishonoring my parents, we got about all of ‘em but that killing one- at least that we know about…what? Oh, keeping them? Never mind.
15 May 2008, on 1:15 am
He can go stick those 10 C’s…somewhere a little less obvious.
Not only does this bozo want another religious holiday, he wants to propound yet another psycho-fact: those ‘thou shalt nots’ had little say in the matter.
Covetousness being the cornerstone & foundation of this land, anywhoways.
15 May 2008, on 8:15 am
What fucking good would a Ten Commandments weekend do anyway?
Every year when that weekend rolled around, politicians would make their obligatory, bullshit statements about it. People would probably do nothing to celebrate it but go out and buy a damn card or something. And the rest of us, who don’t buy into Christianity would roll our eyes and say, “Here we go again!”
It would change nothing. Nothing good would come of it. Is anyone going to suddenly start following the Commandments just because our government picked a weekend to honor them? Hell no.
You know, if ya think the Ten Commandments are so great, then why not just follow them and leave the rest of us alone?
15 May 2008, on 9:22 am
The fucking childishness of these people. As if clinging to their infantile delusions weren’t enough, they have to sulk, pout, and throw tantrums when we don’t acquiesce to their ridiculous demands? Can you imagine the looks on the faces of the Founders if they were confronted with the preposterous notion that America was founded on the….commandments??? Instead of the rational secularism it WAS based on? Sheesh, these idiots exhaust me.
15 May 2008, on 10:53 am
These yutzes are using the same ploy that the Nazis got so much juice out of. Try to dictate to others and scream “repression” when that fails. I wish that they would just relax and enjoy their little junket to the 21st Century so that the rest of us could live our lives.
15 May 2008, on 11:10 am
I’m firmly convinced that religion really IS clinical mental illness. The truth, I think, is just WAY too hard for the general public to handle!
No matter what happens in the world, whether it’s on their own doorsteps, their next door neighbor’s, or somewhere in the world, drastically remote from their totally self absorbed asshat conciousnesses..they simply can’t…or won’t…EVER…”get it”.
Anyone with an IQ over, ooooh…let’s say…80?…who, after reading the obviously anachronistic, and outrageously naive “Decalogue”, particularly at this moment in time and history, and still literally believes that our laws directly derive from such childish, superstitious delusion, has got to be seriously brain damaged.
To think that our modern, secular laws would have ANY direct relation to such Bronze Age brainwashed tribalism is, to my thinking, ludicrous.
Of course, for even more evidence; add in other Biblical nonsense like Leviticus; which is TOTALLY out of whack with today’s world; and the fact that many of the Founding Fathers, in THEIR time, considered much of the Bible to be totally inconsistent with their “Enlightenment” rationale.
Yeah…another of my “It’s Thursday…but, I’m NOT fooling around…AARGHS!”
[Pardon a little self absorbed attempt at personal on-going "The Producers-based" humor!]
On another, somewhat OT, contemporaneous note…in today’s somewhat ‘offbeat’ world news…
I’m just wondering…
Is the following linked story, another example of…erm…”Intelligent Design”?
Or just another of the myriad…
“Gob continually fucks humans over, in ever-increasingly strange and mysterious ways?
“9-year-old girl’s twin is found inside her stomach”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080515/ap_on_he_me/absorbed_twin
And, just HOW, indeed, would THAT story line up with the totally myopic, 10 commandment based, “Thou shalt not” morons’…NON-rational …”Faith-based explanations”…
HmmMM?
15 May 2008, on 12:33 pm
Thanks to Dawkins in THE GOD DELUSION, I learned that the “Thou Shalt Not Kill” was not originally a universal proposition; it initially was only a proscription against in-group murder. Killing heathen infidels was still A-OK with ol’ Yahweh.
Our library received a book not too long ago titled THE YEAR OF LIVING BIBLICALLY by a journalist (A.J. Jacobs) who did his best to live according to biblical law for 1 year, and wrote this book describing his ordeal. Haven’t read it yet, but it looks funny/interesting.
15 May 2008, on 1:13 pm
I smell a business opportunity. We should manufacture Ten Commandment Lawn Monuments. Because every Christian family would want to display one in their very own yard! Ooh, ooh! Statues of Moses, with stepping stones with the Ten Cs etched in, leading up to him! Ka-Ching! And bags of smooth, round rocks, suitable for stoning people who break the commandments.
ChuckA
Weird story about that girl. I hope she wasn’t traumatized by having her twin in her belly. But in LOLCAT speak, I would have to say, “Virgin Birth, UR doin’ it rong.”
15 May 2008, on 1:14 pm
The Ten Commandmants are not the basis for U.S. law. This is fact clear to anyone with the slightest understand of either legal history or the Ten Commandmants.
But since when do fundies care about facts?
15 May 2008, on 1:16 pm
You know, if ya think the Ten Commandments are so great, then why not just follow them and leave the rest of us alone?
Well, for one thing, they would have to reinstate slavery.
15 May 2008, on 1:29 pm
Since when did Religious Freedom become a code word for Fundamentalist Intolerance?
In this country you ARE free to believe whatever you wish.
Not to DEMAND of others to accept, or even listen to, your Beliefs.
But when dealing with fact-based issues, such as science education, your Beliefs do not belong. If you want to teach your children lies, please do it on your own time and on your own dime.
15 May 2008, on 2:05 pm
Which of the Ten Commandments is the basis for morality in this country?
The ones forbidding work on the Sabbath, using God’s name in vain, or not worshipping anyone by Yahweh? Have no place in a secular society.
The one forbidding adultery?
Hasn’t been relevant since we were a Puritanical British colony.
The one forbidding coveting?
Truly, it is because we are jealous of our neighbors that the American dream even exists.
Honor thy father and thy mother?
Don’t think we have held that one up too firmly, especially in the era of potentially abusive households. Besides, family values are not limited to Christianity.
Thou shalt not klll?
Again, not really original to Christianity. And, also, not too much of a problem to American society if it is done in the name of a “good cause” or in self-defense.
Thou shalt not steal?
Funny. Apparently this originally didn’t even mean “steal” as in theft, but as in kidnapping. I assume that America may very well have been founded on this idea. I’ve heard very little of people being allowed to grab one another’s slaves with impugnity.
And, false witness?
May be against the law in court, but hardly that epic of an idea.
All in all, I would be hard pressed to find a way that the Ten Commandments has contributed to the laws that we have today in any fashion beyond those of the secular Enlightenment principles closer to the era of the Constitution’s creation. It’s rather hard to justify displaying the Ten Commandments when the only laws it states that we actually adhere to regard murder, “stealing”, and “lying,” none of which are original to the Ten Commandments. It’s just idiotic.
15 May 2008, on 3:44 pm
And I can only imagine the ‘weeping and gnashing of teeth’ going on in fundieland now that the California supreme court overturned the ban on same sex marriages.
Awaiting jebushugger hissyfit of [excuse the pun] biblical proportions in 5.. 4.. 3..
I can imagine the big haired preacher types are warming up the brimstone. We should start a pool on which one predicts gawd is going to smite Cali first.
Karen: LOLz!! I can haz sis-ectomy?
15 May 2008, on 3:47 pm
Well, for one thing, they would have to reinstate slavery.
You’re right. I just realized that I generally just shorten the whole “You shall not covet your neighbor’s ox, ass or slave” into simply “You shall not covet.”
I also shorten the whole “Do not make your children, livestock, and slaves to do work on the Sabbath” to simply, “Don’t do work on the Sabbath.”
I apologize and would like to thank you for reminding me. (It’s been awhile since I last read Exodus.) No one should follow all the Commandments as listed fully in the Bible. That would suck.
15 May 2008, on 3:52 pm
I love that movie though ! The highlight of Easter every year ( besides eating ham and Turkey ) is to sit down and watch Charlton Heston and Yul Brynner go at it.
Taken as a fantasy movie it is still one hell of an epic.
Taken as reality, it means you are a retard.
So let it be written, so let it be done.
15 May 2008, on 4:05 pm
Yeah, those commandments are a bit longer than they actually want to let on. And I certainly couldn’t follow them; I covet my neighbor’s ass daily, but then she is quite attractive.
*drumroll*
15 May 2008, on 5:23 pm
My little brother, the teratoma- he has teeth and hair but no eyes or brain(some folks call him a tumor but that hurts my feelings for him what with him not having any and looking suspiciously like Jerry Lewis playing Chinese)- sprung from what was once thought merely to be an outie belly button. He ain’t strictly speaking, alive but he does allow me to use the carpool lane without the annoyance of carrying my inflatable girlfriend to and from the car. His name is Frank, Frank Walker, and, though he cannot speak or even cogitate, he’s constantly telling himself that he has bested me in debate over the god that, albeit mindlessly, he’s always on what would be his knees, if he had any, worshiping. Because Frankie resides just above my belt line and I have learned to keep him covered up with my shirt lest he frighten the children, folks make the mistaken assumption that I am with child though I stand before them six-foot four and a eighth of a ton with a full beard hiding my beestung, Angelina Jolie, buttfat augmented lips and accentuating my detachable Jimmy Durante nose- Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. Frank, who I sometimes call “Bruce” and who will answer to “Terry” though he loathes it, is supported by a cruciform, gopher wood frame which keeps him from flopping around down there. If he had him a penis, he would like to use it in public men’s rooms around the world, after which he would return home to have himself re-nailed to his frame- like a kite- in punishment for his sins. One nail per every anonymous knob he polished, two for a Republican politician(sometimes he imagines requiring a nailgun more than an ordinary hammer and a full magazine of galvanized two penny ammo for being such a very naughty boy). My Gods are Mammon and Mammary- though I’m much more of an ass man. Frank collects belly button lint between his teeth and suffers the frequent humiliation of women leaving their chewing gum on him as they work their way past. Because his teeth belong to no mouth, the gum is useless no matter how much flavor is left in it when it’s stuck to Frank, teasing him it’s with minty freshness and/or bubblicious explosions of fruit. On his blog, atheismsucks, Frank claims to be a college student, like a college would really admit a non-sentient quasi-tumor. Okay, maybe a bible college…
Meanwhile, I have returned from the mountain where I spoke unto a bush that wasn’t so much burning as it was tropical and steamy. This was surely the voice of Gob, who’s appearance was somewhat reminiscent of a small man in a pink dinghy. He told me to call him Colonel Angus and to kneel when I addressed him and to shave my mustache because it tickled. Then, he bestowed upon me the additional commandments that Moses had forgot up on Mt. Sinai back in the day- perhaps in a rage at the revelation he would one day be portrayed by cold, dead NRA mouthpiece and facial model for the top selling model of butt plugs worldwide, Charlton Heston. They are as follows:
The SECOND TEN
11. Thou shalt ignore commandments 1-10, except for the not killing and not stealing- an by stealing we mean someone else’s property or OPP.
12. Thou shalt stay out of other folks’ business.
13. Thou shalt keep the Sabbath pre-Dio and cranked the fuck up.
14. Thou shalt cherish the Holy Barbacoa Burrito of Chipotle.
15. Thou shalt never speak of thy religion unless specifically asked. Actions being infinitely more powerful, religion should be seen and not heard.
16. Thou shalt have no more children if thou hast not the wherewithal to support the first.
17. Do unto others, then split. Okay, sheesh, thy sense of humor was apparently born stilled. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you unless you have a real problem with self-hatred, in which case do unto others as you imagine someone you like might prefer.
18. Thou shalt do it in the road, when thy road is free from vehicular congestion.
19. Thou shalt all give the one who brings you these commandments at least five bucks- or more if you can spare it.
20. Thou shalt see an eye doctor about removing that beam from your socket and a proctologist about the stick up your ass. Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
15 May 2008, on 5:58 pm
Raindogzilla: 14. Thou shalt cherish the Holy Barbacoa Burrito of Chipotle.
Hmm; I feel like starting a Holy War again…
*drumroll*
With or without cilantro?
15 May 2008, on 8:18 pm
Only two commandments have standing in federal law: no stealing and no killing. And they are universal no-nos. No false witnessing applies in court cases. But if you worship 114 false gods, dishonor the Sabbath, disdain your parents and operate a graven image factory, the federal government really doesn’t care.
15 May 2008, on 8:50 pm
Eve, the cilantro is cooked- with lime- in the rice. So, yes, cilantro! And, when I’m feeling naughty, guacamole!
15 May 2008, on 9:20 pm
I used to like the movie, and would watch it every year. It’s gotten kinda old now. However, if it were REALLY filmed like this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1kqqMXWEFs
I think I’d like it even better.
15 May 2008, on 9:59 pm
Rowen,
That was hysterical!
I agree with Villaine, the movie is fun to watch as a kind of epic fantasy.
16 May 2008, on 12:22 am
OurLadyofPerpetualMotion
I can haz sis-ectomy? HAR! Yours is better than mine!
16 May 2008, on 8:02 am
Ryan:
You said:
“Well, for one thing, they would have to reinstate slavery.”
What makes you think that fundies would have a significant problem with that. God did give them dominion over the “beasts of the field”, after all–the religious reich are a bunch of sick fucks.
I think George Carlin had it about right with eliminating all but two of the commandments.
I also think that if they were sitting in some afterlife tavern having a few hard ciders Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the “Framers” would be disgusted and just yank that “religious freedom” language right the hell out of that “…goddamned piece of paper!”
17 May 2008, on 1:05 am
Funny thing with the 10 commandment fetish – there are two different sets in the Old Testament, and they arent’ the same. My favorite in the other commandments – “Thou shalt not seethe a kid in its mother’s milk”. Now THERE is some useful advice. Yup. How come the fundies never talk about that one?
17 May 2008, on 12:42 pm
^ Damn it! I just got done seething the last of my kids in it’s mother’s milk. Now what do I do? Eat it? I mean, it’s gonna go to waste anyway, right?