Traveling Hellfire campus preacher
19 March 2008 by StardustI found this little piece on Yahoo News about a preacher man who goes traveling to university campuses around the eastern United States, shouting warnings of fire and brimstone to students despite a steady stream of mockery from bystanders.
You’re going to hell if you drink beer, he says. You’re going to hell if you curse. You’re going to hell if you smoke dope, masturbate, fornicate, watch a Hollywood movie, listen to rap, read Harry Potter books or attend most Protestant churches, Armstrong says.
Homosexuals are hellbound, too, he says. So are women with low-cut tops, short hair, pants or jobs.
“Women have two places: In front of the sink and behind the vacuum,” Armstrong proclaims.
“Ooooh,” moans the crowd, now swelled to at least 250 people.
This dude has everybody going to Hell.
RE the comment about women: I don’t think even most Christian women would want to go that far back in time. We’ve come to far. But if you look at the Bible in a literal sense, women are no better than slaves. Homosexuals are a weary target for Christian fundamentalists, and so is Harry Potter. This guy must be related to the Jesus Camp bitch.
Responses from crowd members were quite amusing:
“Brother Micah, can God microwave a burrito so hot he can’t eat it?” a student with dreadlocks called from the crowd.
“Chuck Norris can!” someone screeched, prompting a roar.
Micah just kept preaching.
“You say sorority girls are whores,” another guy called from the throng. “Is there one in particular I could go to?”
Armstrong paused, rubbed his face and kept preaching.
Critics say Brother Micah claims to be sinless and is so focused on scaring hell out of people that he has forgotten the things they see in God — love, forgiveness, charity.
Many Christians, like some in the video below, may only want to see their God as love, forgiveness and charity, but anyone who has read the Bible who doesn’t merely blow off the bad parts knows that what Brother Micah spews out of his mouth comes right from his awful mythology book.
Here’s the full story:
Hellfire preacher stirs up campuses
And a little video of Brother Micah in action
19 March 2008, on 7:53 am
Stardust:
Did the list of “damnable” offenses include being a wet-brained, drug addled, dry drunk, sociopathic ne’er-do-well fuckwad of a frat boy whose stupidity and arrogance are contributing to the destruction of this nation’s economy and stature. Nah.
19 March 2008, on 9:30 am
I think we need more guys like the good Brother Micah to educate everybody as to what the holy bibble really stands for.
19 March 2008, on 10:34 am
Did you happen to get far enough into the video to see him tell this girl in a regular blouse and shorts that she was dressed like a whore? She was like wtf?
19 March 2008, on 10:36 am
Did the list of “damnable” offenses include being a wet-brained, drug addled, dry drunk, sociopathic ne’er-do-well fuckwad of a frat boy whose stupidity and arrogance are contributing to the destruction of this nation’s economy and stature. Nah.
He probably voted for Dubya, because Dubya said the magical words.
19 March 2008, on 11:04 am
Now, back in my day, you whippersnappers, it was the irascible Brother Jed and his faithful servant, Sister Cindy making the rounds of- at least, college campuses in the southeast. Brother Jed toted his very own full-sized cross(ed. It was made of balsa wood, as we discovered when my friends and I snatched it from him and played keepaway until we were bored) as he made his way across the quad to the “free speech” area down by the student center. Brother Jed and his wannabe, Micah, are nothing more than a sideshow. I’ve yet to see anyone gathered around him view him as anything more than entertainment, comedy to be specific.
I do think that Jed may have had a touch of the prophet in him, however. I was with this girl I’d just met, hanging out in the Bro. Jed crowd, and she yelled something at him. He turned and gave her his
constipatedfire and brimstone glare, “That woman is smoking a VILE cigarette and THERE’S NO TELLING what ELSE she’d put IN HER MOUTH!”And he was right but I’m not telling why…
19 March 2008, on 11:10 am
I don’t know his name, but anyone who has gone to Penn State, University Park in the last 15 years or so will remember “the Willard Preacher”.
His spiel wasn’t (isn’t?) quite so fire and brimstone, but otherwise pretty similar.
19 March 2008, on 11:12 am
Most college campuses get guys like this… it’s a fairly common thing. They are not all so extreme as the guy in the video, but they’re certainly all of the angry-christian variety. At my university, students argue with the “Kirkbride Jesus Guy” (nicknamed for standing in front of kirkbride hall), and even got an awesome FSM-promoting pirate/student one day to compete with the guy.
19 March 2008, on 11:54 am
I put this comment on Stardust’s blog as well:
Frankly, I’m grateful for these misogynistic, intolerant, ignorant slobs.
Their public spectacle generates an even greater repulsion that drives college students away from cornservative christianity specifically, and religion in general.
Sometimes seeing and smelling shit is what it takes to make some people realize why it’s not on the menu.
(And I base that on what I’ve seen at UNC, UGA, UF, and NCST. Everytime one of the sideshows comes on campus the campus paper covers some part of the carnival. Though the student outrage is palpable, it has become a freak show that’s almost a rite of passage, and it is a real eye-opener for the rube-virgins.)
19 March 2008, on 11:56 am
My son has many amusing stories he relates to me of Gary the Pit Preacher at UNC. Gary is a fair-weather preacher; apparently the Lawd’s word does not need to be dispensed on days of inclement weather. But Gary is very entertaining, and my son will often engage him in conversation, just for the lulz.
I was surprised when Brother Micah told the modestly dressed girl, who said she wasn’t showing her tits, “because you don’t have any!” Hmmmm. Perhaps the crowd was getting under Micah’s skin a tiny bit?
19 March 2008, on 11:58 am
I couldn’t stop giggling over how his teeny backpack squished his man boobs.
19 March 2008, on 12:00 pm
I was surprised when Brother Micah told the modestly dressed girl, who said she wasn’t showing her tits, “because you don’t have any!”
I thought that was an odd comment for a Bible thumper.He must have had lust in his heart and therefore will join us in hell.
19 March 2008, on 12:02 pm
This guy reminds me of the nutjobs that hang out in Hyde Park, London, at the Speaker’s Corner. A year ago I was visiting London and happened upon the Speaker’s Corner. Two wacko evangelists were preaching all kinds of hellfire crap to the crowd. The nuttier they got, the more people they attracted. Only a few feet away, another wacko was berating women. The crowds seemed to enjoy the histrionics. It takes two to tango.
Speaking of twos and tangos…I’ve been at Crazy Ed’s blog and leaving him messages of support…ROFL…If you have been there lately, I’m signing as B.B., his crushoholic…ROFL…I’m so bad!!!
19 March 2008, on 12:32 pm
You’re going to hell if you smoke dope, masturbate, fornicate, watch a Hollywood movie, listen to rap, read Harry Potter books or attend most Protestant churches
Only if you do it all at the same time. God hates multi-tasking. He didn’t make everything in one day now did he?
19 March 2008, on 2:18 pm
Ummm…”With all due respect, Stardust”
)…
(
Is this just another case of the “blind leading the blind”?
What occurs to me in these instances, is how the probable overwhelming MAJORITY of the attendant students are actually other variations of childhood brainwashed believers in the Bible. Almost none of them, I’d bet, have ever investigated the totally mythological man-made bullshit source of ALL religious scriptures. In other words, while making fun of this fuckhead clown, they still cling to the usual, nice and comfortable, middle class, mamby-pamby believer variations.
I’d also bet that none of these ’show’ watchers even question whether there actually IS a hell; and why they should even CONSIDER worshiping such a monstrous jerk-off god who could invent such a totally unjust, vicious place for wayward, destined to be ignorant…ape-like morons.
Somehow, for me, this comment stood out from the linked article:
“A delivery worker who spent nearly 30 minutes out of his truck listening to Armstrong said the preacher is at least making people think, whether they like him or not. “There’s good in it,” he said.”
… “making people THINK…?”
ROIT! Of course, “thinking” in the same circular, endless loop of absolutely non-researched, historically inaccurate, non-archaeological…more likely based on bullshit, moronic, lying theological…outright mean-spirited, vicious and idiotic dogmas.
Somehow this brings to mind how utterly stupid people are at ALL levels of this dumbed down society we live in.
Witness the current, unabashed, amazing example of how all the current high profile political wannabes are totally awash in the most ridiculous, religious, bend-over-backwards, ass-kissing theological beliefs.
Its amazing how these ‘top-dog’ fellow humans, so ‘bright’ in many other ways, can be so utterly stupid, when it comes to reason, critical thinking…albeit a more modern Scientific Cosmology…in the year 2008.
I’m referring, of course, to ALL the current crop of political power seekers.
[I'm not, of course, forgetting all those past power-fuckers either!]
Of course, ultimately; WTF DOES the year 2008…as we amazingly ignorant humans count time…REALLY mean in a Universe…possibly just one in an infinite Multi-verse (?)…of some, estimated, 14.5(?) Billion years old?
What’s that…Lighten up ChuckA?
…I mean…erm…
Yeah, yeah…I know…I’m being WAY to serious regarding this totally moronic bullshit!
19 March 2008, on 4:27 pm
Just reading through this post briefly reminds me of a video I saw not long ago over on PZ’s blog and the website Reasonable Doubts,
…where they offer this description:
“Here’s an adorable little song about how everyone is going to Hell.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTOffYj5TxU
funny.
19 March 2008, on 7:45 pm
He’d keep me amused for two … maybe three … minutes.
19 March 2008, on 8:16 pm
Hahaha, we had some dude up at my school damning us all to hell a couple months ago. We had good fun. :]
20 March 2008, on 6:05 pm
When I was at the U of Oklahoma, we got these streets preachers on campus pretty much every Friday. Throngs of students would gather ’round to shout taunts and such at them. Some of them, the toughies, would just ignore it and keep preaching. The newbies would falter and lose face pretty fast.
Personally, I found the whole spectacle annoying and obtuse. The preachers were clearly delusional, but the taunting students didn’t help. All the attention just gets their trouser-jesus in a stiffie, and makes them come back again the next week all fired up to “save them there damned souls.”
Yeah… whatever.
24 March 2008, on 4:16 pm
Brother Jed was a fixture on my college campus. I was a co-founder of a spoof student group called AHA! (American Hecklers’ Association) that would sit around and challenge his absurd assertions. He and Sister Cindy were real pieces of work.
24 March 2008, on 5:01 pm
*raises hand* My campus (LSU) was visited by Brother Jed and Sister Cindy, too; I always just walked on by without stopping (what? I had important things to do, dammit!).