Found this at Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. Will this lunatic ever shut the fuck up and just retire already?

Citizen Cain: TV Preacher Robertson May Buy Local Newspaper – And Kill Its Critical Coverage

If you can’t beat ‘em, buy ‘em out. That seems to be Pat Robertson’s policy for press criticism.

After decades of operating a faux-news operation from his “700 Club” perch at the Christian Broadcasting Network, Robertson is now expressing interest in purchasing The Virginian-Pilot, a real news organ that has offered critical coverage of the TV evangelist.

*snip*

“Although the price for The Weather Channel is a little rich for my blood, I am considering a potential bid for the Pilot and have asked my attorneys to look into it,” Robertson said in an e-mail sent by his assistant, G.G. Conklin. “It would be particularly helpful to provide internships for Regent University journalism students.”

I’ll bet it would be! Regent University’s motto is “Christian Leadership to Change the World”.

As posted at PZ Myer’s Pharyngula, Possummomma (aka, Atheist in a mini van) is not doing well right now, and is struggling with lupus. Her lupus affects her skin. She is relegated to one or two rooms in her home that have cardboard-covered windows. Her kids call it the batcave. If you go to her blog she has information about it there.

Berlzebub is organizing donations to help her get UV protectorant for her windows so she can move through her house, so if you’ve got a little bit to spare, please do contribute to a member of our godless community.

I, too have Lupus (and RA) and I hope I never have to go through what Possummomma is having to deal with. I can’t imagine not being able to leave my home, much less being confined to a couple of rooms. My heart goes out to her.

Thanks to Spirula for pointing to this one:

Huckabee: Amend Constitution to be in ‘God’s standards’
David Edwards and Muriel Kane

I know we are all sick of hearing about Upchuckabee, but it’s important to keep making fun of him and making sure that he is as far from the nomination as possible because as we have seen with Dubya, we can’t take it for granted that people won’t vote for him.

From The Raw Story:

The United States Constitution never uses the word “God” or makes mention of any religion, drawing its sole authority from “We the People.” However, Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee thinks it’s time to put an end to that.

“I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution,” Huckabee told a Michigan audience on Monday. “But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that’s what we need to do — to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view.”

When Willie Geist reported Huckabee’s opinion on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, co-host Mika Brzezinski was almost speechless, and even Joe Scarborough couldn’t immediately find much to say beyond calling it “interesting,”

Scarborough finally suggested that while he believes “evangelicals should be able to talk politics … some might find that statement very troubling, that we’re going to change the Constitution to be in line with the Bible. And that’s all I’m going to say.”

Geist further noted of Huckabee that if “someone without his charm,” said that, “he’d be dismissed as a crackpot, but he’s Mike Huckabee and he’s basically the front-runner.”

UPDATE: Here is the response as to if Conservatipedia is satire or not:
Christopher, sole author of Conservatipedia says:
“This site is not a satire
It must be hard for seculars to handle the fact that there are real people out there that follow God’s words and live by it. They prefer to live in their of mind numbing MTV shows like Pimp My Ride and Sweet 16, instead of a nice relaxing evening reading over the Bible.”

Time to wake up the lions who have been hibernating for too long. Finally, we get a troll tasty enough to offer up for a grand meal. Conservatipedia

At first, when finding him in the Incoming Links, and I clicked on “Atheists Are Out To Get Your Children” and thought it had to be some kind of spoof. But then ChuckA thinks (and I also suspect) this idiot is for real. I read though the entire site before deciding to post this just to be sure it wasn’t satire. If he is for real, he is the biggest fool for Jeebus that I have run across since Sable Chicken and Dani. [Ed Note: If his site is to spoof conservatism and the religious right, he should be fed to the lions anyway for horrible attempt at satire as there is nothing even remotely satirical or funny about it.]

Here is what Christopher has to say about atheists:

Atheists suffer from the disease of hating life. They hate themselves and blame God for their misery. They lash out and lash out at the weak. Their number one target is a child. This is why I’m writing a guide to help parents properly train and protect their children from Atheist Predators, like Atheist Penn Jillette in that picture. Atheists try to use the power of logic and reason to attack a child’s mind and brainwash it for their own selfish purpose.

And

How to spot an Atheist
It isn’t that hard. These are the people that look pissed off all the time. They rarely ever smile(except when viewing something immoral) and never have any religious friends. As you will be at Church on Sunday, you’ll need a camera to record your neighbors to see if they’re still at home. If they’re at home, you got an Atheist.

What led me to believe that it might be a spoof site is this:

Cats
Atheists tend to have Cats as pets, since cats have no souls. They will never have a dog, because Dogs do goto heaven and they don’t believe in that.

But then there are actually certain sects of Xians who believe that cats are “of the devil”.

Christopher warns:

You have to have your children immediately respond to an Atheist. If your child sees an Atheist, they need to run away and tell an adult that believes in God. Let your children know who believes in God before hand. If your child cannot get away, they must not talk to the Atheist. The more you talk to an Atheist, the more they’ll talk back. Most importantly you need to teach your children not to listen to Atheists ever. Atheists will try their hardest to make your children neglect God and the words of God. This can lead to drugs, premarital sex and homosexuality.

Other of his posts for tasty side-dishes are:

Buddhism is an Atheist Doctrine

Don’t be fooled by the happy face the Liberal Media puts on Buddhism. If you’re a Buddhists, you’re going to burn in Hell. There’s absolutely no escape from that. Before you die, you’ll live the most unfulfilled life, be fat, lazy and another unproductive liberal in society.

And warns of the homosexual “plot” to make every heterosexual child gay:

Subliminal Homosexual Messages

If you’ve been living in the Western world within the last 5 years you would of noticed the onslaught of the gay agenda on television, media and the music industry. This is nothing more than an attack on normal families with correct morals.

And this tasty morsel:

Liberals Are Pedophiles

Have you ever noticed how proud liberals are? They’re always parading around their beliefs, like they’re something to be proud of. Nothing is more apparent then their desire to give pedophiles an advantage over children.

Let the feast begin!

Well, the spring term starts today on campuses all across this great nation of ours (some earlier, I know, and I’m sorry), so I thought to forward some stuff on this bleak Monday…

The first funny is the Top 100 Actual Quotes from Fundies. Some highlights:

Atheists have the greatest “cover” of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims. [...] Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [...] I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet.

Oh yes, they get better and better…

The second concerns all those bad, bad, non-xians and their megachurches:

In November, Grassley, who serves as ranking minority member on the Senate Finance Committee, ramped things up a bit. He announced that he is seeking detailed financial information from six mega-ministries…. The move sent shock waves through the evangelical community. Grassley is a conservative Republican whose votes on social issues usually please the Religious Right. (His 2006 rating from the Family Research Council was 87 percent.) But the senator has long had an interest in preserving the integrity of the tax laws and has in the past complained about secular non-profits violating the law. In 2005-06, Grassley held a series of hearings on Capitol Hill that included testimony from large non-profit groups such as the Smithsonian Institution and the Red Cross. Now he’s turning his sights to the religious sector.

Oh, persecution! Oh, oppression!

(Cross posted at The Uncredible Hallq)

This is not a thesis I am inclined to advocate, but I wonder if many people–even and especially people who claim themselves to be believers–intuitively accept it on some level. What got me thinking about this was that yesterday, Ed Brayton had a post advocating that a ban on fortune telling be lifted. Interesting stuff, but then the day before that Ed was not so confident when he examined the question of whether preachers of the prosperity gospel–”give me money and God will make you rich”–should be prosecuted. Certainly, people like James Randi have occasionally suggested that spirit mediums should be prosecuted.

This immediately brought to mind David Hume’s incisive observation on religious beliefs from his Natural History of Religion: “Hear the verbal protestations of all men: nothing so certain as their religious tenets. Examine their lives: you will scarcely think that they repose the smallest confidence in them.” Similar observations have been made by Bertrand Russell and, most recently, Daniel Dennett with his comments about believing in belief. People may claim to belief in the doctrines of a religion, but they would never seriously rely upon them in any practical matter. Do they further think to themselves that anyone foolish enough to do so doesn’t deserve legal protection against fraud? It’s one way of explaining reluctance to prosecute the likes of Benny Hinn.

Here’s a little ditty from the Quran, that you might find amusing – I’m reminded of the story of Balaam. Courtesy of a Muslim by the name of Ezzatoa, whose cute little stories I’ve eviscerated here, here, and here.

I was perusing his rather baroque meritocracy, when I chanced on this little gem:

“[17:59] What stopped us from sending the
miracles is that the previous generations have rejected them. For example, we
showed Thamoud the camel, a profound (miracle), but they transgressed against
it. We sent the miracles only to instill reverence“

and Thamoud is a a tribe who witnessed a camel emerging from a solid rock.

Double-blink. Say whaaa…?

Shore ’nuff, it’s a ‘real’ story all right – though there are different versions (some of them are even more fantastic, like this one for instance).

So here’s the less…embellished version:

God granted Salih this miracle and a huge, unique, camel appeared from the direction of the mountain. The Quranic commentators said that the people of Thamud gathered on a certain day at their meeting place, and Salih came and addressed them to believe in God, reminding them of the favors God had granted them.

A stray camel is a sign from on high?

Then pointing at a rock, they demanded: “Ask your Lord to make a camel, which must be 10 months pregnant, tall and attractive, issue from the rock for us.”

Sounds like these cats had a menu in their hands, don’t it? Why did it have to be attractive? (The mind shudders.) Why pregnant? Why not ask for a freakin’ unicorn? (I’m guessing he had a few shills planted in the crowd, if this even happened at all.)

Salih replied: “Look now! If God sends you what you have requested, just as you have described, will you believe in that which I have come to you with and have faith in the message I have been sent with?”

They answered: “Yes.”

Eenie beanie, chili weenie, the spirits are about to speak!

So he took a vow from them on this, then prayed to God to grant their request. God ordered the distant rock to split asunder, to bringing forth a great ten month pregnant camel. When their eyes set on it, they were amazed. They saw a great thing, a wonderful sight, a dazzling power and clear evidence!

Couldn’t find a tophat big enough, ey?

A number of Salih’s people believed, yet most of them continued in their disbelief, stubbornness, and going astray. God said: We sent the camel to Thamud as a clear sign, but they did her wrong. (Ch 17:59) and also: Verily the dwellers of Al Hijr (the rocky tract) denied the messengers. We gave them our signs, but they were averse to them. (Ch 15:80-81 Quran)

Let me guess…here a pregnant (attractive too!) camel emerges from the rocks, and yet, a large percentile of folks didn’t buy it? Hmmm…
(Note that the gestation time of a camel is one year.)

There are a number of ancient accounts of this camel and its miraculous nature. It was said that the she camel was miraculous because a rock in the mountain split open and it came forth from it, followed by its young offspring. Other accounts said that the she camel used to drink all the water in the wells in one day, and no other animals could approach the water. Still others claimed that the she camel produced milk sufficient for all the people to drink, on the same day that it drank all the water, leaving none for them.

Nobody seems to be able to get the bloody story straight. Gee, what a surprise.

At first, the people of Thamud were greatly surprised when the she camel issued from the mountain rocks. It was a blessed camel, and its milk sufficient for thousands of men, women and children. If it slept in a place that place was abandoned by other animals. Thus it was obvious that is was not an ordinary camel, but one of God’s signs. It lived among Salih’s people, some of whom believed in God while the majority continued in their obstinacy and disbelief.

Doubtless because it was all fables.

Their hatred of Salih turned towards the blessed she camel and became centered on it. A conspiracy started to be hatched against the camel by the disbelievers, and they secretly plotted against it.

A conspiracy was hatched against a camel? Are you kidding me? I can see the marquis now – “The Hunt For Beige October!” “The Dromedary Conspiracy!”

Salih feared that they might kill the camel, so he warned them: “O my people! This camel of Allah is a sign to you, leave her to feed on Allah’s earth, and touch her not with evil lest a near torment will seize you.” (Ch 11:64 Quran)

“Plus she’s having my kid,” Salih let slip out.

For awhile, Salih’s people let the camel graze and drink freely, but in their hearts they hated it. However, the miraculous appearance of the unique camel caused many to become Salih’s followers, and they clung to their belief in God.

A group of people short on hobbies, I’d gather.

They laid a plot to kill the camel, and sought the help of their women folk to tempt the men to carry out their commands. Saduq bint of Mahya, who was from a rich and noble family, offered herself to a young man named Masrai Ibn Mahraj on condition that he hamstring the camel. Aniza, an old woman, offered one of her daughters to a young man, Qudar Ibn Saluf, in return for killing the camel. Naturally these young men were tempted and set about finding seven others to assist them.

So women were actually parceling out sexual favors to get rid of it? Really? Oh, for fuck’s sake!

They watched the camel closely, observing all its movements. As the she camel came to drink at the well, Masarai shot it in the leg with an arrow. It tried to escape but was hampered by the arrow. Qudar followed the camel and struck it with a sword in the other leg. As it fell to the ground, he pierced it with his sword.

A 6th century SWAT squad was dispatched to exterminate the dromedary with extreme prejudice.

The killers were given a hero’s welcome, cheered with songs and poetry composed in their praise. In their arrogance they mocked Salih, but he warned them: “Enjoy life for 3 more days then the punishment will descend upon you.” Salih was hoping that they would see the folly of their ways and change their attitude before the 3 days went out.

They’d already done the deed, hadn’t they? But then, ‘they’ (the entire cabal) decided to go after the camel lover:

They also plotted to kill Salih and his household as God stated: “So they plotted, and we planned a plan, while they perceived not.” (Ch 27:50 Quran) Allah saved Salih and his followers from their wicked plans. Heavy hearted, they left the evil doers and moved to another place.

Get the hell outta Dodge! Of course, the inevitable, predictable climax:

Three days after Salih’s warning, thunderbolts filled the air, followed by severe earthquakes which destroyed the entire tribe and its homeland. The land was violently shaken, destroying all living creatures in it. There was one terrific cry which had hardly ended when the disbelievers of Salih’s people were struck dead, one and all, at the same time. Neither their strong buildings nor their rock hewn homes could protect them.

So let’s nutshell this:

Prophet produces a ‘miracle’ pregnant camel from the rocks, which produces wonders. Evildoers plot against and kill said camel, plot against the magician, and get smote dead.

This doesn’t even qualify as a decent Archie comic, let alone a ‘miracle’.

Anyone who even accepts this ridiculous story as reality, needs to stop smoking hashish.

Let the mockery begin.

This is the Apostate, signing off. 

Cross posted at The Uncredible Hallq)

Oh boy, Claude Mariottini just managed to be impressed by a Dinesh D’Souza article. D’Souza is going after Dawkins for saying he doesn’t mind Christian symbolism in the public square. D’Souza’s citations of what Dawkins has previously said on the subject are one-sided: he acts as if admitting a few good things are to be found in Christianity is something new for Dawkins, but The God Delusion talks about the beauty of the King James Version and gives a mixed review of Jesus’ teachings rather than an entirely negative one. In place of the Nazi analogy, I’d suggest one from Greek mythology: I can appreciate the cultural heritage while realizing that the Greek heroes and gods were often portrayed as behaving monstrously. As a matter of fact, I even admit that the fascists produced at least one fascinating aesthetic achievement: El Valle de los Caidos, which was built under the direction of Francisco Franco. Of course there’s an issue of historic distance: I feel a distance from Franco and the ancient Greeks that I don’t feel from Hitler or Christianity; living in secularized Britain, Dawkins must feel a bit more distance from orthodox Christianity than I do.

Both D’Souza and Mariottini float silly speculations about the reason for Dawkins’ statements, which in general aren’t worth addressing, but I do find it interesting that Mariottini is still promoting the same silly misunderstanding of Dawkins’ views on disproving God which I pointed out here. For the last time: Dawkins denies he can conclusively disprove the existence of God because of a general philosophical view that it is impossible to conclusively disprove anything, not because the holy spirit is getting through to him. Okay, so I hope that’s the last time I have to say that, but it probably won’t be.