Lion Feed: Main course, Conservatipedia
15 January 2008 by Stardust
UPDATE: Here is the response as to if Conservatipedia is satire or not:
Christopher, sole author of Conservatipedia says:
“This site is not a satire
It must be hard for seculars to handle the fact that there are real people out there that follow God’s words and live by it. They prefer to live in their of mind numbing MTV shows like Pimp My Ride and Sweet 16, instead of a nice relaxing evening reading over the Bible.”
Time to wake up the lions who have been hibernating for too long. Finally, we get a troll tasty enough to offer up for a grand meal. Conservatipedia
At first, when finding him in the Incoming Links, and I clicked on “Atheists Are Out To Get Your Children” and thought it had to be some kind of spoof. But then ChuckA thinks (and I also suspect) this idiot is for real. I read though the entire site before deciding to post this just to be sure it wasn’t satire. If he is for real, he is the biggest fool for Jeebus that I have run across since Sable Chicken and Dani. [Ed Note: If his site is to spoof conservatism and the religious right, he should be fed to the lions anyway for horrible attempt at satire as there is nothing even remotely satirical or funny about it.]
Here is what Christopher has to say about atheists:
Atheists suffer from the disease of hating life. They hate themselves and blame God for their misery. They lash out and lash out at the weak. Their number one target is a child. This is why I’m writing a guide to help parents properly train and protect their children from Atheist Predators, like Atheist Penn Jillette in that picture. Atheists try to use the power of logic and reason to attack a child’s mind and brainwash it for their own selfish purpose.
And
How to spot an Atheist
It isn’t that hard. These are the people that look pissed off all the time. They rarely ever smile(except when viewing something immoral) and never have any religious friends. As you will be at Church on Sunday, you’ll need a camera to record your neighbors to see if they’re still at home. If they’re at home, you got an Atheist.
What led me to believe that it might be a spoof site is this:
Cats
Atheists tend to have Cats as pets, since cats have no souls. They will never have a dog, because Dogs do goto heaven and they don’t believe in that.
But then there are actually certain sects of Xians who believe that cats are “of the devil”.
Christopher warns:
You have to have your children immediately respond to an Atheist. If your child sees an Atheist, they need to run away and tell an adult that believes in God. Let your children know who believes in God before hand. If your child cannot get away, they must not talk to the Atheist. The more you talk to an Atheist, the more they’ll talk back. Most importantly you need to teach your children not to listen to Atheists ever. Atheists will try their hardest to make your children neglect God and the words of God. This can lead to drugs, premarital sex and homosexuality.
Other of his posts for tasty side-dishes are:
Buddhism is an Atheist Doctrine
Don’t be fooled by the happy face the Liberal Media puts on Buddhism. If you’re a Buddhists, you’re going to burn in Hell. There’s absolutely no escape from that. Before you die, you’ll live the most unfulfilled life, be fat, lazy and another unproductive liberal in society.
And warns of the homosexual “plot” to make every heterosexual child gay:
Subliminal Homosexual Messages
If you’ve been living in the Western world within the last 5 years you would of noticed the onslaught of the gay agenda on television, media and the music industry. This is nothing more than an attack on normal families with correct morals.
And this tasty morsel:
Liberals Are Pedophiles
Have you ever noticed how proud liberals are? They’re always parading around their beliefs, like they’re something to be proud of. Nothing is more apparent then their desire to give pedophiles an advantage over children.
Let the feast begin!
15 January 2008, on 2:50 pm
It’s satire. Not good satire, but satire nonetheless. Shelley The Republican is much better.
15 January 2008, on 3:06 pm
Todd, if that is satire, it is indeed bad satire because there isn’t much inkling that the writer’s intentions are satirical. That is the message I wrote on his site . . .if this is satire, he needs more originality. We have heard the same exact things from religious fundies over and over who are dead serious.
We can feed him to the Lions then for a terrible and unsuccessful attempt at satire!
15 January 2008, on 3:15 pm
The “all dogs go to heaven” line plays really well on grieving owners at the vet school.
The cat bit is awesome. We’ve got one of each
I suppose dogs are like fundies in that it’s easier to get them to do any stupid think you want. Roll over! Play dead! Make that check out to “Six Flags over Jesus”!
15 January 2008, on 4:00 pm
“They [atheists] hate themselves and blame God for their misery.”
Who could we possibly blame anyone that we don’t believe exists? It never ceases to amaze me how so many fundies forget the definition of atheism.
“… [atheists] never have any religious friends.”
Never? Gee, that’ll be news to some of my friends!
“Atheists tend to have Cats as pets, since cats have no souls.”
Okay, this is just funny.
“Have you ever noticed how proud liberals are? They’re always parading around their beliefs, like they’re something to be proud of.”
As if conservatives are any different!
15 January 2008, on 4:07 pm
Boy, I really want to call Poe on this one but not sure it is.
Stardust,
Speaking of Dani, do you think this is the same person who showed up here on the Florida Citizens for Science blog (about 15 comments in)?
http://www.flascience.org/wp/?p=380#comments
Needless to say, she got her ass handed to her.
15 January 2008, on 4:16 pm
Have any of you been able to stomach watching any of Sable’s crackpot videos? OMG! She needs to be locked up under medical care.
15 January 2008, on 4:19 pm
Speaking of Dani, do you think this is the same person who showed up here on the Florida Citizens for Science blog (about 15 comments in)?
Spirula, It sure sounds like her, all the way up to the part about “two sides working together” . . . then I began to have doubts.
15 January 2008, on 4:23 pm
ATTENTION TO NEW POSTER WHO JUST POSTED A COMMENT. Your comment was accidently deleted…could you please resubmit? Sorry about that!
15 January 2008, on 4:29 pm
Someone else doesn’t think this is a spoof…check out this post at Dan Price’s blog
Extremist Conservative lies on Conservatipedia
I have invited Chris at Conservatipedia to come over and clear things up. But from reading other threads at other sites around the internet where he has left comments, he could just be playing along at liberal sites to get his link out there. Who knows.
15 January 2008, on 7:00 pm
I think it sounds satirical, but who can tell anymore? What does it say about the radical Christians if you can’t tell the parody from the true stand? Anyway, I think it must be real, and here’s why: the abortion widget on the right that simultaneously supports the Iraq war.
Anyway, some of the site elements are a little too amateurish to be a well thought out parody: it’s titled “Conservatipedia” but it’s not a wiki as the name is trying to imply; Christopher describes the site “To date we have been attacked and threatened legally by the ACLU.” but there is no mention of this in the sole entry tagged “ACLU”. He’s also been posting almost daily, I can’t wait to see what’s next!
P.S. Don’t delete my comment this time please
15 January 2008, on 7:49 pm
Not having seen the video, I doubt it was Dani. I would think she is too busy homeschooling her poor kids in Colorado Springs and training them “to live in fear and admonition of the LORD!”
15 January 2008, on 7:54 pm
Oh, my mistake, they were blog comments, not a video. It might be Dani from Colorado, though I still suspect not.
The Dani I knew would paste links to a host of Fundie sites and she would find a way to insert derogatory comments about “homos”.
I liked the one line she wrote “I will pray for your sole.”
15 January 2008, on 8:14 pm
Highly unoriginal, although I do like this: ” … the more you talk to an atheist, the more they’ll (sic) talk back.”
You have to get up pretty early in the morning to put something over on this guy.
15 January 2008, on 8:16 pm
BJNebraska, Glad you came back! I had a major brain fart when I clicked the delete button instead of the approve button!
I read nearly every post on that blog and nothing seems satirical to me. It’s all typical right-wing nutjob.
15 January 2008, on 8:17 pm
I liked the one line she wrote “I will pray for your sole.”
I saw that too, tommy. I was thinking fillet of sole or shoe sole. LOL!
Chicken Lady Sable is a YouTube junkie now. In one of them she even has her pet chickens in the background. LOL
16 January 2008, on 8:47 am
You know, I’m reading through Conservatipedia, and I’m not entirely convinced that it isn’t a failed attempt at satire. I quote,
“There is no Republicans out there that want to end the War in Iraq and end the embargo on Cuba. Only Democrats hold onto those stupid ideas.”
What? Also, quote,
“God doesn’t let atheists have children.”
I believe that a number of people on this site both have children and are atheists.
There are others, but that’s not important. I just find it hard to believe that someone actually believes all of these statements. Some of them, sure, but all of them? How would such a creature remember to inhale?
16 January 2008, on 10:02 am
Oooohhh, new post! Check it out:
Conservatipedia: Answering my Critics
God is for Suckers even gets a hat-tip
And straight from the horse’s ass…err mouth:
This site is not a satire
It must be hard for seculars to handle the fact that there are real people out there that follow God’s words and live by it. They prefer to live in their of mind numbing MTV shows like Pimp My Ride and Sweet 16, instead of a nice relaxing evening reading over the Bible.
16 January 2008, on 10:27 am
I read somewhere but can’t find it again that Conservatipedia was once a spoof site but now this guy has started another one, using the name, and is very real. I am trying to find that link again.
After reading the latest post, it is my present opinion that he is unfortunately very real. There isn’t even a hint of satire on his site.
16 January 2008, on 10:40 am
I wrote this in response to his post about us:
We can see who lurks in the background. You are a lurking, silent troll…one who comes and hangs out, leaves your turd that you have visited in the Incoming Links queue (that’s how we found you, so you visited us first. It is not our habit to go around visiting xian sites. We only “feature” those who come to us first.)
(I also told him he is too cowardly of a chicken to respond here as I requested.)
16 January 2008, on 11:36 am
Star;
I’d like to posit a third possibility–that this guy is an attention whore with a sadistic streak. I’m no psychologist, but after having read this non-sense, I see just as much implied contempt for his assumed audience (weirdo fringe Christian Taliban) as I do for his expressed opponents (dirty liberals, godless heathens, et al.)
I could be projecting, or this guy could really be that frighteningly stupid. What do Gifsters who have visited other posts on his site think? I refuse to go to his site to sludge through another post as I do not have the where with all, nor the desire to provide him with a return visitor.
16 January 2008, on 11:49 am
Fritzy, I have been looking for even a teeny bit of wit, sarcasm and humor and find zip…nada, nothing satirical.
Xian fundie, or attempted satirist, he is probably seeking attention since once we are bored with him, he will fade away, writing posts to himself and getting an occasional drive-by “fuck you”.
I think the Lions are finding this dude rather bland.
16 January 2008, on 1:08 pm
“God doesn’t let atheists have children.”
Hah! Well, there you go. I have a kid, so one of two of these things MUST be true.
A) There is no god.
B) I really snuck a fast one past him.
However, since by definition the god of which Chris speaks is infallible and omnipotent, “B” cannot occur. Ergo…
16 January 2008, on 4:19 pm
Domain info from Internic:
Domain Name: CONSERVATIPEDIA.COM
Registrar: SCHLUND+PARTNER AG
Whois Server: whois.schlund.info
Referral URL: http://REGISTRAR.SCHLUND.INFO
Name Server: NS57.1AND1.COM
Name Server: NS58.1AND1.COM
Status: ok
Updated Date: 04-jan-2008
Creation Date: 08-oct-2007
Expiration Date: 08-oct-2008
Registrar info:
Registrar Name: SCHLUND+PARTNER AG
Address: ZENTRALER RECHNUNGSEINGANG ELGENDORFERSTR. 57, MONTABAUR, GERMANY 54610, DE
Phone Number: +49 721 91374 4534
Email: hostmaster@schlund.de
Whois Server: whois.schlund.info
Referral URL: REGISTRAR.SCHLUND.INFO
Admin Contact: Thomas Keller
Phone Number: +49-721-91374-534
Email: COMPLIANCE@SCHLUND.DE
Billing Contact: Daniela . Kunz
Phone Number: +49 721 91374 312
Email: tv_billing@domain.schlund.de
Billing Contact: Thomas Keller
Phone Number: +49-721-91374-534
Email: COMPLIANCE@SCHLUND.DE
Technical Contact: Peter . Eisenhauer
Phone Number: +49 721 91374 523
Email: tv_admin@domain.schlund.de
Technical Contact: Thomas Keller
Phone Number: +49-721-91374-534
Email: COMPLIANCE@SCHLUND.DE
Technical Contact: host . master
Phone Number: +49 721 91374 50
Email: Hostmaster@schlund.de
16 January 2008, on 4:40 pm
A little more digging and I find this at:
http://sethf.com/infothought/blog/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=1282
“That’s hilarious, I guess that shows what the religious right has on their mind.
I made my own spoof site conservatipedia.com
Posted by Chris at November 29, 2007 12:57 PM “
16 January 2008, on 4:44 pm
Todd, if it is a spoof site there is not a hint of satire. It seems very real. Who’s to say that he isn’t faking it when he says in other places that it is a spoof site? Why didn’t he come here and tell us he is a spoof site then?
The guy is an assclown either way.
16 January 2008, on 5:01 pm
I found this post at Alexander The Great, and Chris’s comments in that thread:
Conservatipedia – A Spammer, Cheat, and Idiot
AND if this is parody, I am not the only one who doesn’t find it at all funny:
Whaddya Kno? ConservApedia!
It is looking more and more like this guy is playing both sides and trying to get attention any ol’ way he can get it.
16 January 2008, on 6:19 pm
I remain skeptical. It’s got a cheap landover pastiche about it and is probably trying to stir up enough controversy on leftist and atheist blogs to create the impression that his site is somehow linked to Conservapedia. I know that religious whackos get nuttier and nuttier every day, but this web site is farcical in its over the top nuttiness.
My personal opinion? It’s a 15 year old dork who laughs at his own jokes because no one else will.
For clever parody, I’ll stick with http://www.shelleytherepublican.com
16 January 2008, on 10:16 pm
Actually, Todd’s comments are pretty much what I was trying to say in my earlier comment. No, I do not think Conservativpedia is satirical in the least. I think Chris is a creepy fucker who gets a thrill from trolling around the internet, pissing off as many people as possible (it is even creepier to me, as my first name is Chris.) I don’t think he believes a word he says, nor is he trying to get the opposite point across through the use of hyperbole. I don’t even think he expects anyone to find humorous anything he is saying. I think the only one laughing is Chris. I think he wants his sight to be one of the most talked about on the internet and to raise the ire of everyone. He’s one of those little twats that thinks roadkill is funny.
Sorry if I’m ranting, I’m actually a little pissed–those pictures he linked to on his site actually gave me nightmares last night and I don’t shock easily. For those fortunate enough not to have viewed these images, don’t.
16 January 2008, on 10:26 pm
Fritzy, yes, those photos are raunchy, even by our extremely liberal GifS standards. I am sorry curiosity made me look. The dude is a real sicko, and as Todd stated has to be a 15-year-old getting his jollies. I can imagine him snickering as he writes his bullshit and all the bullshit comments at other people’s sites…taking one side and then the other.
16 January 2008, on 11:33 pm
Stardust…
I think the real ‘kicker’ for me, as I mentioned in my first comment (#6, previous Post) about this Post’s controversy, is the abortion counter in the upper right of his site. THAT…if it’s at all functional and accurate…took some extra devious intention and effort to construct!
I think if WE…or any of the Pro Choice Sites…had a “MISCARRIAGE” counter…you know…Gawd’s abortions?…it’d blow that other count ‘out of the water’.
As sad as miscarriage is for so many women and families…certainly, with no ‘choice’ in THAT matter…the “Right to Lifers” never address, or ‘touch on’, the issue. After all; Gawd (the archetypal Tyrant!) can do anything ‘He’ wants to his awe-struck, ass kissing, slaves!
I’ve commented on this issue several times here on GifS. Not many people, across the board, seem to pay attention to that issue in all the debates with the god-bothering sheeple fuckheads.
[The Statistic, as I recall, is something like: 1 out of every 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.]
It’s OT, and I’ve posted this before; but it’s, I think, a link to have in any atheist ‘arsenal’, for emailing(?) to those familial(?) god-botherers who are against choice. Let’s face it…another Repig Pres…and you can say “Hello” to an even MORE Theocratic Supreme Court; and wave goodbye to choice and other freedoms.
Sorry (NOT!), if I’m a little extreme on this point.
For any atheists who’ve never read it…or any ‘lurking fundies…?
From the Freedom From Religion Foundation:
What Does The Bible Say About Abortion?
http://ffrf.org/nontracts/abortion.php
17 January 2008, on 12:17 am
Definitely satire. I left several comments, none of which were “published”. It seems obvious that this is satire, but if you watch FoxNews, that also seems like satire.
17 January 2008, on 12:18 am
ChuckA: why don’t we get a “god’s abortion meter” going? would be a great addition to this site.
17 January 2008, on 8:49 am
I enjoy posts that display the stupidity that is xianity in all it’s idiot glory because the religious freaks never want to show you these fools. They’re always ready to pull some moderate out of their hats to show the big bad world how ‘intelligent’ religion can be.
It’s ridiculous idiots like chris that lend the perfect light to the cult that is xianity in all it’s black hearted, spotty, scarred, moronic glory.
I think my favorite part is sharing things like this with those who would defend it. Then I sit back and listen to them try to explain what the fool is “really” trying to say. Like there’s any other way to interpret the stupidity laid out before them. As if being an xian grants you secret dumbass decoder powers so you can ‘translate’ xian retardation into something that a thinking person might understand.
Hilarity!
17 January 2008, on 10:33 am
I think if WE…or any of the Pro Choice Sites…had a “MISCARRIAGE” counter…you know…Gawd’s abortions?…it’d blow that other count ‘out of the water’.
ChuckA, that is a great idea! I had a couple of miscarriages and a STILLBIRTH…I mean…if a god is involved, what kind of sick practical joke is that? Carry a child inside you for nine months, and have it die during delivery? No Xian has ever come up with an explanation for that one.
God’s abortions. I am going to start working on something.
17 January 2008, on 11:04 am
I read the latest post by Chris which has to be satire…about nightlights turning kids into homosexual sissies. Chris needs a lot more practice. Good satire is not easy to write.
17 January 2008, on 12:50 pm
I hate to say it but this guy is right about everything. Once i skipped church on the weekend, before I knew it I was starring in Gay pornograhic films with unmarried people, snorting big piles of cocaine off of the bodies of the dead child prostitutes that I killed for sport, and i had a pet cat.
I’ll never miss church again, I’m going to be reborn, but I sure will miss Mister Whiskers
17 January 2008, on 5:53 pm
Good satire is tough to write, Star – and so many fundies are so laughably extreme (but real) that it’s getting harder to tell the parodies from True Xians (TM)!
18 January 2008, on 7:45 pm
Fritzy got a mention as our “regrettably named site” at Alexander the Great
Conservatipedia (SPAM Report)
19 January 2008, on 1:19 pm
Please excuse a bit more of my possible extremism on the subject of a woman’s right to choose…
Since I brought up that idea of a “Miscarriage counter”; and because the subject is such a perennial…MAJOR Political/Cosmological fight…between the deceptive, Right Wing, religious fascists and all those who side with the absolute right of a woman to make choices about her own body…in particular…reproductive choices…
here’s a smidgen of what a Google for “statistics on miscarriage” brought forth:
Of course, from good old Wikipedia…
1) “Miscarriage”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miscarriage
2) “Miscarriage Statistics”:
http://www.hopexchange.com/Statistics.htm
and, one more…(I always like the number 3…erm…a left over bit from numerology?)
3) Miscarriage at Medline Plus:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001488.htm
DEFINITION (from the Site page)…
[ChuckA NOTE: I can't help noticing how people go WAY out of their way to avoid using the word "abortion" regarding the medical 'truth/facts' of this every day, common reality.]…
“Alternative Names
Abortion – spontaneous; Spontaneous abortion
A miscarriage is the spontaneous loss of a fetus before the 20th week of pregnancy. (Pregnancy losses after the 20th week are called preterm deliveries.)
A miscarriage may also be called a “spontaneous abortion.” This refers to naturally occurring events, not elective or therapeutic abortion procedures, which a woman may choose to have done.
Other terms for the early loss of pregnancy include:
* Missed abortion (a loss of pregnancy where the products of conception do not exit the body)
* Incomplete abortion (not all of the products of conception exit the body)
* Complete abortion (all of the products of conception exit the body)
* Threatened abortion (symptoms indicate a miscarriage is possible)
* Inevitable abortion (the symptoms cannot be stopped, and a miscarriage will happen)
* Infected abortion
OK…
[cue "Outer Limits" theme?]
“I now return you to your usual GifS sponsor…ummm…
Stardust?”
19 January 2008, on 1:23 pm
Stardust…
Please check the queue for my ‘disappearing’ recent comment on Miscarriage…?
22 January 2008, on 11:21 am
Okay, now he’s trying to be funny – and failing. I guess he is laughing at people who take/took him seriously (like me :[ ).
If anybody needs further evidence that the site is fake: Look at the first post (http://www.conservatipedia.com/2008/01/test.html), look at the URL. He is aiming at people who mispell http://www.conservapdia.com (that’s how I stumbled upon that site).
20 February 2008, on 3:33 pm
Crud…I guess that means I have to get rid of the dogs and pick up a cat. Any good sites out there regarding cats?
20 April 2008, on 12:08 am
Has anyone seen the latest version of their atheism article: http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism ?