It’s Starting To Look A Lot Like…Nothing?
23 December 2007 by KA
It’s that time of year again – and if you’re anything like me, you probably have a few Xmas jingles doing a dance step inside your head (due to the incessant playing of said tunes on the radio and boob tube).
I get a tad maudlin this time o’ year, probably due to the decades of conditioning and fond childhood memories. So humor an old man, willya?
I was about eight years old, when I discovered there wasn’t a Santa Claus. I stayed up late, and snuck out quiet as a mouse (thinkin’ I was the only thing stirring, to paraphrase the rhyme), hoping to catch old Kris Kringle in flagrante delicto as it were, and with my little eye, I did spy…my folks assembling our presents.
That next morning, I demanded the truth. My folks fum-fahed, and finally admitted – there was no Santa Claus!
Delighted by my discovery, I (almost) immediately divulged this bit of info to my closest friend Greg, who lived across the street from me…and was rewarded with a bloody nose. My first foray with truth versus fantasy was greeted with fists. A harsh lesson, indeed.
So here I am, some forty-odd years later, a little smarter, somewhat more mature, and just a bit better at dodging the odd punch.
I still celebrate it. Yes, it’s hard to be a major buzzkill this time of year, after years of celebrating a family tradition. (Good thing I haven’t joined the alleged ‘War on Christmas’.) Let’s face it – it’s a good excuse to take some time off, rub shoulders with those annoying folks you call relatives, and maybe come away with something other than a hangover. I confess, I rather like Xmas. Just strip away all the religious nonsense, please.
And of course, the Grinches come out in droves, ranting their usual nonsense about our cultural traditions (hey, traditions change, most notably along with the increasing diversity of a country), carrying on in the style of your standard conspiracy wackjob, and altogether or separately, making complete and utter asses of themselves.
Maybe no one’s noticed, but the Huffington Post has declared the ‘War is over! (Imagine me snickering into my palm like Muttley.)
Somehow, the phrase ‘wag the dog‘ springs readily to mind.
I’m all for renaming it Winterval - this exclusivist attitude on the part of the religious is irksome, to say the least. We hear this all year round, don’t we? It’s our country, it’s our gwad, it’s mine, mine, mine, you can’t have it, let alone complain or criticize it.
“Peace on earth, good will towards man” – when exactly did the escape clause get worked into that? (Another symptom of how deeply religion’s entrenched in our culture – I can pretty much sing the lyrics to that nod to the ‘on high’. Blecch! ‘Mercy mild’ my homesick ass.)
Anyways, y’all have a wicked Winterval, y’hear?
23 December 2007, on 4:47 am
A Good Winterwal to you too!
And I’m with you there, it’s an excellent excuse to take some time to spend with family and relatives. You just have to make choices and leave out all the religious nonsense.
23 December 2007, on 6:18 am
I agree… heck who does not like “It`s a Wonderful Life“ or any number of heartwarming stories you get to watch this time of year. I enjoy them… this old guy gets a tear in the eye.
The difference is “we“ know the only real magic is within humans and not in some sky-daddy. And maybe experience has taught us that silly rules and traditions and customs and tribalism do not facilitate releasing that magic but all too often get in the way of releasing it from within our hearts.
This magic that most sane people have is the magic of recognizing our oneness, of our common humanity; it is the magic of recognizing that if we do not work to make the World a better place nothing else will; it is the magic of not just tolerance (a sort of a lower condescending cousin) but of accepting the concept of equality and recognizing the value of diversity; it is the magic of generosity; it is the magic of caring and sharing; it is the magic of going out of your way to help friend and “foe“ alike. Most of us have that magic in there, maybe we practice it less than we should. Maybe we all should try harder to work this magic more every day and in every way.
And now to get this off my chest and not be so kind as I should maybe but the more I see of the babbling of the religious (ever watch the stuff on TV!?!?! – e-f`n amazing!! ) I think more and more these people are nuts under the hood. And it you really listen to it for what it intends to impart – this babble – you realize more and more that it is a message of elitism, hopelessness, and worst of all — it is a message that allows one to substitute ritual and traditions and obedience and intolerance for the real magic one should be working.
Peace out and hope all enjoy the holidays
23 December 2007, on 10:10 am
I’m still down with Festivus; the airing of grievances, the feats of strength, and the off chance that the gleaming silver pole(and the spiked nog) will inspire an aspiring stripper from the ranks of the extended family gathered around it. Hoochie Mama!
Don’t forget; shop til you drop, otherwise the Evil Dewars will have triumphed. And, anyway, what’s so evil about Dewars? No, it’s not Glenfiddich, Macallan, Islay, or even Laphroiag(?) but Evil?
Oh, and merry Freakin’ Christmas!…
23 December 2007, on 12:33 pm
Raindogzilla:
I am sorry to harsh your buzz, but I must take exception with that photo accompanying your post. The Santa figure’s “wide stance” (at least at the thighs) is entirely too suggestive.
I was just listening to a piece on NPR talking about atheism and they mentioned “denominations” of atheism–that was a hoot. Merry Post-consumerism Depression Day.
23 December 2007, on 2:22 pm
My wife and I have gotten to the point that this year we aren’t even giving each other gifts. We are having the extended family get together at our house this year, but we have decided to do a blind white elephant gift exchange this year (except for the little ones, they get actual gifts). At this point in life, we just don’t need the extra stuff that people will feel obligated to give us for Christmas. We have everything we need. Besides, as everyone has mentioned already, it isn’t about gifts, it’s really just an excuse to get together and have some fun.
23 December 2007, on 5:19 pm
So, here in Australia we can’t celebrate Winterval because it’s summer? Not fair!!
You really need to consider atheists south of the equator. Summerval? Christ-it’s-bloody-hot-mas?
Merry Whatever, and Praise Cheeses!
23 December 2007, on 7:12 pm
RDG – that Santa is…a little over the top. Be that as it may, I’m sorely tempted to take the picture, print up several copies on construction paper, & top a few Xmas trees w/it. Beats the hell outta putting some ‘angel’ on top of the bloody thing, fer sure.
Note to everyone: I’ve just signed ‘Have a wonderful Winterval’ on ALL the cards I’m giving this year. I’m wondering how my ‘moderate’ Rethuglican bro-in-law will respond. Likely I’ll hear some blather about PC.
Angie:
Still December down under, right? When is winter in Australia, anyways?
Hey, I believe in Cheeses! As pronounced by the Archdiocheese of Limburger. (Holiest of holed cheese, we beseech thy smelly yumminess to delight our sinful palates! Yippee!)
23 December 2007, on 7:29 pm
Winter in July, baby…can’t be beat. Makes the middle of the year just drag on and on. Mind you, our winters are pretty pissweak. No snow, rarely gets to freezing point even at night.
Let it brie…
23 December 2007, on 10:27 pm
RDG: You beat me to it. Festivus is the thinking man’s winter holiday. I am particularly fond of the Airing of Grievances.
24 December 2007, on 1:22 pm
Great post KA.
I have considered myself a secular humanist for about 13 years (11 years agnostic, 2 years atheist) and have celebrated Christmas all those years. Like yourself, I continue to celebrate for the “good stuff” that the holidays represent–giving, spending time with family and friends, etc. There are plenty of secularists, or folks who are “Christian” in nomenclature only who continue to celebrate, minus the mythology. You really don’t need the hocus-pocus of the holiday to experience the magic. (Speaking of cheese…)
This whole “war on Christmas” non-sense has got to stop. If anything is ruining the holidays for everyone, it’s this straw-man. But, Bill O’Lielly sells air time and bumper stickers with this non-sense, so it’s not likely to stop until the bug-up-their-ass contingency tires of this mantra.
As you pointed out in response to the link about the “War on xmas” being a symptom of the larger problem of a war on Americana(?), traditions change. And often when this happens, there is a contingency that digs in their heels. While I am no fan of political correctness, there is nothing wrong with being sensitive to others.
And quite frankly, I think we need to start dialoging about the concept of tradition. Like faith, I think we need to realize that tradition is not beyond reproach. One tradition in America has been to use the label of “tradition” to legitimize, wholesale, some rather unsavory concepts (sexism, racism) and even immoral practices (slavery). I have been in arguments with people about certain practices, when they throw out the “tradition” card, expecting that this alone is enough to end the argument and convince me of how wrong I am.
No; arguing that something should continue simply b/c it is tradition is lazy and irresponsible. We need to look at the motivation and reason behind the tradition.
Anyways, sorry for the extended rant. I’m really just here to wish a “Merry Christmas to some, Happy Festivus for the rest of us.”
Just remember everyone, “Cheeses are the reason for the season! And God is Fucking Awesome!”