Kathy pwns Jeebus
11 September 2007 by Ron
I already liked Kathy Griffin and her My Life on the D-list. And now, more reason to: Fox is censoring her Emmy acceptance speech for “hate speech”. And what horrible thing did say?
“…a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus… Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now!”
(via Pharyngula: Kathy Griffin is my new hero; more info at Griffin’s Emmy Remarks to Be Censored.)
11 September 2007, on 4:25 pm
How dare she insult everybody’s favorite imaginary friend? But seriously folks, with the unending parade of sports figures and entertainers who are always thanking Jesus for things that THEY have accomplished, this is refreshing. Shame on E for not having the balls to air it!
11 September 2007, on 4:45 pm
I almost didn’t read this because I can’t stand crap like “pwns” and “l33t”, lol. But yeah, Kathy’s got big balls, I think I heard them clanking all the way from here.
I think the “suck it, Jesus” is what did it though. She could have left that out and no one could have had shit to say. I might have said, “I’d like to thank Jesus for not helping me get this award, with him, I’d never have made it where I am today.”
11 September 2007, on 5:59 pm
this is hilarious, all of a sudden the E network (home of talk soup and other morally outstanding programs) is taking the high ground. I never really liked her until now. Does she go to double hell for her comment falling so close to 9/11?
11 September 2007, on 6:26 pm
I would like to thank Jeebus for making the female Carrot Top say something for once that doesn’t make me cringe and scramble for the remote. I think if Jeebus really loved me he would give her a voice that didn’t sound like two strangled cats fucking on broken glass. I would also like to thank Jeebus wholeheartedly for giving an answer that matches exactly with what I want to do, when I ask what he would do. And I would like to state categorically that Jeebus does not love the little children in the way that, say, Michael Jackson does- close but not quite.
Oh, and Hey, Ron! Long Time No Read!
11 September 2007, on 7:43 pm
I’ve always had this fantasy where I win the lottery and at the press conference after I claim my winnings, the first thing I say is “I’d like to thank my main man, J.C. That’s right, I couldn’t have done it without my best friend Juan Carlos.” Just to give the Jesus freaks a little hope before I shoot them down.
11 September 2007, on 9:36 pm
Fox calls this hate speech–the same people that air the screechy, juvenile “shut-up” rantings of Bill O’liely?
I bet if Jesus had gotten up to accept his Emmy, and during the speech told Kathy Griffin to “suck it,” they would have just thrown up their hands and said, “oh, that Jesus…”
11 September 2007, on 11:06 pm
Anybody who believes in a god who cares about who wins and Emmy believes in a god that sucks.
11 September 2007, on 11:59 pm
zipi has the real point, these churches should be a little more secure in themselves. if their was a god, wouldn’t she have better things to do than worry about this bitch’s emmy?
12 September 2007, on 6:19 am
Heee! Heee! Haaa! Haaa! I read this yesterday and I am still giggling about it. I am with RDZ with the whole “two cats fucking on broken glass” thing, but still… heee haaa hee!!!!
12 September 2007, on 6:29 am
OT, but you might be interested in this story of ex-muslims who are putting their lives at risk for rejecting islamic dogshit religion.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2426314.ece
“A group of young Muslim apostates launches a campaign today, the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on America, to make it easier to renounce Islam.
The provocative move reflects a growing rift between traditionalists and a younger generation raised on a diet of Dutch tolerance.
The Committee for Ex-Muslims promises to campaign for freedom of religion but has already upset the Islamic and political Establishments for stirring tensions among the million-strong Muslim community in the Netherlands.
Ehsan Jami, the committee’s founder, who rejected Islam after the attack on the twin towers in 2001, has become the most talked-about public figure in the Netherlands. He has been forced into hiding after a series of death threats and a recent attack.”
“Sharia schools say that they will kill the ones who leave Islam. In the West people get threatened, thrown out of their family, beaten up,” Mr Jami said. “In Islam you are born Muslim. You do not even choose to be Muslim. We want that to change, so that people are free to choose who they want to be and what they want to believe in.”
Mr Jami, 22, who has abandoned his studies as his political career has taken off, denied that the choice of September 11 was deliberately provocative towards the Islamic Establishment. “We chose the date because we want to make a clear statement that we no longer tolerate the intolerence of Islam, the terrorist attacks,” he said.
“In 1965 the Church in Holland made a declaration that freedom of conscience is above hanging on to religion, so you can choose whether you are going to be a Christian or not. What we are seeking is the same thing for Islam.”
Muslim believers, I hope I have offended you superstitious clowns.
12 September 2007, on 12:01 pm
I know this is off-topic, but does anyone know how Stardust is doing?
12 September 2007, on 12:07 pm
[...] See discussions here and here. [...]
12 September 2007, on 12:48 pm
I’m gonna assume this is about that fantasy movie.
Stardust, currently in 10th place at the box office I believe, has grossed about $34.5 million. With a budget of about $70 mil, not good.
I’m actually interested in seeing the Golden Compass myself.
As for Kathy, I agree that she could have left the “Suck it, Jesus” part out. Still, funny.
12 September 2007, on 1:11 pm
Me too. It is ironic that the last post on her blog is titled “Should We Be Worried?”
12 September 2007, on 2:07 pm
She hasn’t updated her more personal blog either, and she usually at least responds to her comments. I hope all is well.
12 September 2007, on 3:49 pm
It never ceases to amaze me- but, then, I’m credulous….how people like you guys with so little faith always have sooo much time to bash Jesus- which sucks because, under a bashing, he becomes impotent right in the middle of fucking me silly. And most of you don’t even know why I bend over and take it like a doggie. Well I can help you with that. The problem is not with you, the problem is with me, the demon you allow to dwell within your website. Don’t think you have a sole? Then check the bottom of your feet, your shoes, the succulent fish flesh all lemon buttered on your diet plate? I am so ignorant of my own mind/body makeup, that I call you Maybelline and Queen Latifah and smear your essences all over my heaving flanks. Back to my demons….It is in their best interests for me to keep silent lest those patronizing nurses and diddling orderlies shoot me back up with the shut up juice that makes the little beasties writhe around on the floor of my skull like slugs in salt . My world is a place of sodomy, dogfights, Britney Spears, candy corn, fishhooks and Claymore anti-personnel mines. I readily admit to being metaphysically ugly- things happen when self-pleasuring with the Worm of God. I will suck at the Tailpipe of God all day and call it “Steve” but when payment is mentioned, my demons tell me to dine and dash, as it were. The truth of the matter is that God picks nits from my fur and grooms me as a patient Baboon mother. The only other things that confuse me are, let’s see, science, math, Wheel of Fortune, the daily Word Jumble, and Highlights for Children. I can understand keeping my hand off the hot stove after only three or four third-degree burns. So, why all the heat? And especially if the burner doesn’t glow orange- as many of you claim – where is all this heat coming from? How does that confounded stove go from cool to the touch one moment to branding spirals on my palm the next? I think that it is magic- though the haters tell me it is natural gas- or some newfangled electricalicity! May God Have A Great Big Dump on Me! SolarGoddess
12 September 2007, on 6:45 pm
Hiya, Ron!
bernarda, now those are some really brave young people; thanks for the story.
I also hope Star’s well.
If Griffin’s speech qualifies as “hate speech,” then it can only be expressing “hate” against jesus, and surely the almighty son of god can defend himself – unless he isn’t really almighty–
- or real in the first place.
12 September 2007, on 6:56 pm
Hate Speech:Hate speech is a controversial term for speech intended to degrade, intimidate, or incite violence or prejudicial action against a person or group of people based on their race, gender, age, ethnicity, nationality, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, language ability, moral or political views, socioeconomic class, occupation or appearance
According to my understanding of the definition, saying “Suck it, Jesus” is not hate speech.
Saying, “Come on! All Muslims are terrorists and should be shot and killed before they can do anything else to our beautiful country” is hate speech.
(Not that I personally know anyone who said the last quote, I’m just giving an example of what seems to be the general consensus of Muslims here in Ass Backwards, Iowa.)
12 September 2007, on 6:59 pm
Oops! I just re-read my post.
I meant it seems to be the general consensus of what Muslims *are* by the Christians here in Ass Backwards, Iowa.
12 September 2007, on 7:13 pm
Hate speech is just another way for the government to attempt to circumvent the 1st amendment.
Of course, it’s not like the 1st amendment, or even the Constitution has meant anything recently.
12 September 2007, on 10:50 pm
Stardust is back as per the latest post on her blog announcing her return.
12 September 2007, on 10:55 pm
That’s the funniest thing she’s ever done.
12 September 2007, on 11:47 pm
Bill Donohue of The Catholic League calls it Hate Speech.
I wonder.? Do you think he gets that feeling that there is a swarm of bees buzzing around his head when he gets into one of those red faced snits that I see him in on the tube? And do you think he would consider some type of therapy to figure it out and get the help he so deparately needs. Maybe some form of electroshock would be beneficial. I hear it is not so bad as it used to be. HMMMMM?
13 September 2007, on 1:14 am
It’s hate speech because I hate her…
13 September 2007, on 6:54 am
Thanks Tommy!
13 September 2007, on 8:16 am
Hey, if you want a good laugh, go back and read #16.
Did any of you know that you suck at the devil’s teat?
Just a simple drive-by, but still funny…
13 September 2007, on 9:43 am
I wasn’t going to mention #16, but “Don’t think you have a soul? Then how do you know whether God is real or not?”
No, neither I nor anyone has a soul. That is simple enough.
The second question is a non sequitor.
Post 16 goes on with idiocy, “If you are so ignorant of your own mind/body makeup, how are you in any position to determine anything about the world outside of yourself?”
Thinking you have a “soul” is ignorance itself.
Let’s be generous and suppose you have a “soul”. How does that help you to understand your “mind/body makeup”? How would a “soul” help you understand the world outside yourself?
That post is pure garbage.
13 September 2007, on 10:24 am
I don’t see how this is really a reason to like KG more.. but yes. she’s not funny. At all.
13 September 2007, on 11:28 am
I don’t really hate her, and have seen some moderately funny stuff by her, nothing outstanding. But comedy is highly subjective.
13 September 2007, on 2:14 pm
Once a very unfortunate or clairvoyant on-line commentator was trying to type the word “owned” too quickly or too non-nonchalantly, and instead typed, “pwned”. This small mistake should have ended with its very first occurrence…
13 September 2007, on 4:57 pm
OK, who “edited” the drive-by’s comment?
Not that I’m complaining; it’s actually an improvement, albeit far, far too creative and imaginative for your typical cruisin’ cristian!
And yes, Stardust is back home from the hospital, in recuperation, and already planning a post on her experiences with god-botherers in the hospital.
13 September 2007, on 5:05 pm
For those of you who are interested in archaeology (I know I am!), a couple of fed-up archaeologists have launched a site intended to debunk woo-woo-nonsense attaching itself to their field at Bad Archaeology…
13 September 2007, on 5:35 pm
I discovered that I still had powers, so long as I promised to use them only for the good…
13 September 2007, on 6:34 pm
^ You were my prime suspect, RDZ!
13 September 2007, on 6:49 pm
At http://suckitjesus.com/ you can sign an online petition to stop her comments being censored. Probably pointless, but what the hell?
Jodie Foster recently told Entertainment Weekly in an interview that she was an atheist. I knew I liked her.
13 September 2007, on 11:58 pm
Anyone experiencing a shortage of Ipecac Syrup need only watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br4F12Q6E2g
hat tip to Baptists for Brownback
14 September 2007, on 1:52 am
RDZ
Is that in reference to the statement, “Obscenity” I’ll know it when I see it?
This is just what happens when people who have an opinion insist on expressing that opinion.
OUCH
14 September 2007, on 2:36 pm
Maybe you thought that there was nothing dumber than Bush under the sun. Take notice. According to the Secretary of Transport Mary who do you think was responsible for the Minnesota Bridge collapse?
If you said cyclists and museum-goers, you are right!
“In an Aug. 15 appearance on PBS’s “NewsHour With Jim Lehrer,” Peters spoke against a proposal to raise gas taxes to shore up the nation’s aging infrastructure. The real problem, the secretary argued, is that only 60 percent of the current money raised by gas taxes goes to highways and bridges. She conveniently neglected to mention that about 30 percent of the money goes to public transit. She then went on to blast congressional earmarks, which dedicate 10 percent of the gas tax to some 6,000 other projects around the country. “There are museums that are being built with that money, bike paths, trails, repairing lighthouses. Those are some of the kind of things that that money is being spent on, as opposed to our infrastructure,” she said. The secretary added that projects like bike paths and trails “are really not transportation.”
Peters’ comments set off an eruption of blogging, e-mailing and letter-writing among bike riders and activists, incensed that no matter how many times they burn calories instead of fossil fuels with the words “One Less Car” or “We’re Not Holding Up the Traffic, We Are the Traffic” plastered on their helmets, their pedal pushing is not taken seriously as a form of transportation by the honchos in Washington, D.C.”
http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2007/09/14/bike_paths/
Now you know the true story of the bridge.
14 September 2007, on 8:35 pm
Agh! You edited #16 too fast! I did not get to read the original.
15 September 2007, on 1:43 am
I’m with Zipi. Is the original still available? It really confused me, actually. I was like…umm…”Impotent when fucking me…”? I think that person is kidding.
But, it’s good to know I’m “sucking at the devil’s teat”. I suppose that’s why I recently found out about Malibu chocolate. That’s devil’s milk, for sure.
17 September 2007, on 2:46 pm
Kathy Griffin is scheduled to be on Larry King tonight [CNN 9/17/07]…It might be interesting to check it out…? There was certainly NO sign of her at all, on the Sunday night Emmy broadcast.
Also…Sally Field got bleeped right at the “G” (”Gord damn”?)of her, I assume, anti Iraq War comment.
[I guess I was lip reading at that point!]
So much for “Freedom of Speech”!
Fuckhead, Faux Network, religious suck-ups!
17 September 2007, on 5:53 pm
bernarda, that is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard a government official say – on so many levels…
“Bikers are teh debbil! They take money from bridges!”
Stupid, stupid, stupid…
17 September 2007, on 5:54 pm
edit ^ “
BikersCyclists are…”17 September 2007, on 10:07 pm
About the video in comment #36 by RDZ…BARF! PUKE AND UPCHUCK! When our kids were in middle school that was the damn theme song for school events. Last I heard they are still using it for school assemblies.