The Chickian Lake-O-Fire
23 November 2006 by RonWhile we’re on the amazing and awesome Jack Chick: Here’s a fabulous bit from his “Light of the World” called “The Lake of Fire”. That’s right, they’re talking about where we’re all going.
Presented without editing or comment, since that would just be gilding the lily:
23 November 2006, on 10:45 am
According to Chick, god is a dick. (Hey that rhymes!)
Xian mythology is as bizarre as any other.
23 November 2006, on 11:43 am
Hi
That’s really cool and well done.
Reminds us that Religion used to be much more sold on Punishment, Suffering and Misery!
23 November 2006, on 12:47 pm
Oh yeah that convinced me. I’m going to church right now and getting those awful thoughts out of my head. But now that I’m convinced. Which church will really save me I don’t wnat to make a mistake. Only to find that It was the wrong church. Hellllllllp.
My prayer for today
Oh God you are so big. Thank you for not killing me and throwing my limp lifeless corpse into that sadistic Hell which you have created just for me. Thanks bunches.
23 November 2006, on 12:53 pm
Am I the only one who thinks that subjecting kids to that is child abuse? Seriously. I am an adult and can laugh about it. But an eight year old who spends the night in terror afraid that he will go to hell if he dies before getting confession because he just had a impure thought is no laughing matter. And then they had the courage to tell me that I would not be a good father for being gay.
*shakes fist*
23 November 2006, on 1:57 pm
I liked all the pretty colours.
Zipi, I’m with you on that.
23 November 2006, on 2:01 pm
This comment by psycho “Immanuel” in a thread over at Evangelical Atheist made me laugh out loud!
I basically told him that he was insane and needed to get professional help.
23 November 2006, on 3:23 pm
Why, at :34, is that Sumo wrestlers, a kid in a witch costume, a basketball player, and an Eskimo?
I guess Hell’s party central! Err… except for the burning and such. That looks like a major downside.
It makes me wonder, though: If Hell is this eclectic, is Heaven as diverse as a Country music concert?
23 November 2006, on 3:51 pm
When I was an atheistic kid- though I didn’t yet realize that “no god” was an option yet, I remember being absolutely terrified by the tales of Noah and his Ark, mainly the flooding part. For a good long while, I couldn’t sleep if it was raining or be alone if there was thunder and lightning involved. No amount of “It’s just god bowling” or “It’s just god taking pictures”- let alone that nebulous promise to never do it again supposedly uttered by this god fellow, could soothe me. To this day, I’m a bit mistrustful of large bodies of water- big enough not to be able to see the opposite shore.
23 November 2006, on 3:56 pm
I have been in several “debates” with xians in recent months about the subject of free will and I tell them that for the xian there is no free will because a believer really has no other good option than to become assimilated. They have the choice of believing Jeebus and going to never-never land somewhere over the rainbow and their own fluffy-puffy cloud and golden harp and halo when they die… or “die twice” and “burn in the lake of fire for eternity.” That doesn’t sound like free will to me! That is obedience by THREAT of harm. (Like I said before, that would make this gawd the biggest dickhead imaginable.)
This Chick guy has quite an imagination. If he wasn’t a brainwashed fundie, he would be making low budget horror/slasher type movies in Hollywood.
Wikipedia has a list of anti-Chick websites, some are pretty amusing.
23 November 2006, on 5:43 pm
But an eight year old who spends the night in terror afraid that he will go to hell if he dies before getting confession because he just had a impure thought is no laughing matter.
Not all eight-year-olds are hrcc and subject to a rigorous confession meme–anthing that starts, “Now I lay be down to sleep” and includes, “if I should die before I wake/I pray the lord my soul to take” can bring nightmares, too…
Naomi
23 November 2006, on 8:40 pm
Chick’s a sadist, like a lot of Xtians. He claims to be motivated by LOVE! (just like his tyrant in the sky God), but I think he really enjoys drawing and writing about people being tortured in hell for eternity. Just look at the ending to any of his comics–pure schadenfruede.
As for free will, no Christian ever believed that virtue is its own reward, they’re all motivated by either fear of punishment or anticipation of reward, just like a child.
23 November 2006, on 9:15 pm
lol @ the sumo wrestlers
23 November 2006, on 11:51 pm
If heaven has no sumo wrestlers, then it is not a place I would like to be.
24 November 2006, on 12:40 am
“This Chick guy has quite an imagination. If he wasn’t a brainwashed fundie, he would be making low budget horror/slasher type movies in Hollywood.”
Yeah, probably like Toxic Avenger or other TROMA films…(gotta love Lloyd Kaufman, he’s a hoot)
Did anyone notice the California surfer dude with board? I thought you “can’t take it with you”, as they say.
Religion has to invent the very problems it interjects itself as the solution to….
Xtian: follow Jebus & he’ll keep you outta hell!
Skeptic: I don’t believe in hell. Or heaven. You’re just making that up.
Xtian: Blasphemer!
Skeptic: whatever, bye bye now.
I think South Park Hell & Heaven are especially funny. Heaven is for geeky Mormons ONLY, though God is this weird looking, laid back thing that claims to be a Buddhist. South Park Satan is actually pretty cool, and Hell seems to be where all the decent people end up…and a few of the pricks, like Saddam H., who South Park Satan banishes to Heaven & the Mormon eternal moralizing luv fest. Of course, their Jesus is the Hallmark Card version, totally inoffensive to anyone. It took Bertrand Russell’s writings to make me realize this ain’t the whole picture when it comes to that particular character of the Bible…
The South Park episode satirizing the upper (and hilariously conspiratorial) echelons of the Catholic Church was pretty funny, though it was equally tough on atheists. The Scientology episodes were just awesome, though I’m sad it caused them to loose “Chef”.
One of my Jeezoid coworkers once simultaneously frightened and irked the shit out of me when she was discussing religion with another, less ardent co-religionist…she got this fire-like, half-crazed look in her eyes and blurted out “God is not ‘fair’, God is JUST!”
No supernatural possession here–It was her basic, complete and vehement but very human fanaticism that scared the sh*t our of me. It was only later, at home, going over the dictionary definitions of these words in my Webster’s Unabridged, that I got angry at the arrogance and willful stupidity of such a remark. As if that which humans agree to call “Just” does not also imply fairness…Justice without attendant fairness is no justice at all. But of course, in her religious hubris, my coworker discounts “mere human understanding”, so that words no longer mean what we as a language community have commonly agreed what they mean, but must be twisted and perverted in meaning to fit someone else’s gawd delusion…Nope, sorry, not playing that game.
At least she’s not “pushy” with her religion–that would make her insufferable and I would complain to my superiors.
24 November 2006, on 1:59 am
Zipi, I think most – if not all – of us agree with that on some level. Unfortunately, xians think we are the abusers (atheists, homosexuals, Wiccans, what-have-you…). In my opinion there is nothing wrong with being gay or Wiccan or atheist. But we don’t have as much money or zeal, or as large a horde of brainwashed followers as they.
We’ll be swimming in the lake of fire together. But not before I march up to heaven and drag at least two of those lumpy fatasses down there with me.
Tripe. Utterly ridiculous. Their accusation is based on doctored statistics. Basing decisions like that on statistics garnered from interviewing criminals (meaning they could lie or not, and no one would know, or care) is crazy. Because the statistics are based on a self-defined lable and are entirely subjective, any conclusions drawn from them is negated by the fallacy of the method. Grr. Gah! Now I have to go read The Sandman. I’m too pissed to do anything else.
People doing stupid shit for selfish reasons piss me off.
24 November 2006, on 2:06 am
Oh, I mentioned Wicca* in my previous post. I DO see a problem with it, as it is as illogical as anything else. But, I don’t see it as child abuse, which is the point I was getting across. I think that teaching children to respect nature, to utilize it, and to live and let live is great! I DO have a problem with bitches like my husband’s ex-girlfriend who gave belladonna to her baby (BABY!!!) regularly because it “helps her sleep.” Or the self-taught doulas (not REAL ones) at college who would volunteer to help friends with pregnancies by making them teas of herbs (herbs which, by any standard, are at least risky for pregnant women to drink and in some cases seriously dangerous).
Just thought I’d clear that up.
* Wicca, as in neo-paganism; obviously not very similar to the belief system of the druidic tribes of Brittania and Gaul.
24 November 2006, on 7:42 am
Hi
The fundies often want to convince us that they are real nice folks and then they come up with this kind of stuff.
24 November 2006, on 10:26 am
This was on Freedom From Religion Foundation website:
Oh, threats of hell and hopes of paradise!
One thing at least is certain — this life flies;
One thing is certain, and the rest is lies;
The flower that once has blown forever dies.
– Omar Khayyam, born May 18, 1048 (d. 1131), from the Rubaiyat
24 November 2006, on 11:15 am
Well, if we can bring our bicycles and surfboards, sounds like a ‘cool’ place…I bet Surfer Dude is really stoked to surf that Lake of Fire! Can I bring a hang glider? Can we bungee jump instead of being pushed? And what the hell is that Chinese dragon doing there? Lifted bodily from a parade I suppose, filled with sinning Orientals.
So many unanswered questions, I’ll have to refer to my bibble for the details I suppose…can someone refer me to the chapter and verse that spells out allowable baggage?
What an effing hysterical bunch of shit!
24 November 2006, on 11:19 am
Xians always say that the devil is lurking and trying to steer people away from gawd. Maybe the gawd of the bible is really the devil.
Maybe satan set up religion and churches to lure the majority of sheeple away from gawd! Oh how the fires crackle! 
Many of their rituals are creepy…drinking “blood” and eating “flesh” (even if it is representational it is still creepy…catholics actually believe that wine and wafer become real flesh and blood..ewww) When xians tell me that satan planted dinosaur bones in the ground to fool us 
(along with other absurd “theories” about satan leading believers astray), I tell them then maybe satan planted all this religion crap to lure as many dumb humans away from gawd as he could and they all follow satan like sheeple to slaughter? Maybe they are ALL misinterpreting the mythology!
24 November 2006, on 12:30 pm
The obvious play here would be Nirvana’s version- and it’s great, but, sometimes, despite crappy sound quality, one just has to go to the source. Without further ado- and with a cameo by a younger Jon Stewart(and is that Alicia Silverstone?), I give you the Meat Puppets-ian Lake of Fire. Is it dating me to say that I was way into this shit when it came out in 1983?
24 November 2006, on 1:48 pm
Talking about fire…isn’t it lovely what gawdly people do to each other? Various sects of muslims, various sects of xian soldiers…kill, kill, kill! Fuckers…
Shiites burn 6 Sunni worshippers alive
24 November 2006, on 7:09 pm
While we’re all worrying about winding up burning in a lake of hellfire forever Jack Chick is worrying about not having two gold coins on his eyes for the boatman when he dies.
24 November 2006, on 7:49 pm
Just a thought: How does god punish masochists for self-harm? Does he send them to heaven where they can’t hurt themselves? I ask only because I think they’d like it in hell.
24 November 2006, on 10:16 pm
LOL I just took that video to .26 seconds and took a good look at the ppl. Nuns, KKK, maharachi(sp?) guitarist, basketball player, ME man with gun, ghandi like figure……
Damnation but Chick hates pretty near everyone doesn’t he? He must live in a very scary, VERY lonely little world. I would mock him, but to be honest I pity him. Leave him to ‘his’ heaven for surely his life is hell on earth.
PS showed this clip to my 12yo daughter, she wasn’t sure if this was real or a spoof of something. When I told her that some ppl honestly believe this….well, I can’t really put her reaction into words. You honestly would have had to seen the look on her face.
24 November 2006, on 11:10 pm
flame821,
I do not think they are KKK members. They are Spanish Catholics in an Easter parade. The clothes they wear look accidentally similar to those of KKK, but you can recognize them because they are carrying that big wooden saint sculpture on their shoulders.
25 November 2006, on 12:10 am
“Nor aught availed him now to have built in heaven high towers; nor did he scrape by all his engines, but was headlong sent with his industrious crew to build in hell.”
- Milton.
Watching that, I could almost hear a voice, in a thick Hindi accent, saying: “Who is this Jesus? No 1 told me about this, I swear to Vishnu! Take it easy with that peetchforrk, I am going!”
25 November 2006, on 12:19 pm
i was pleasantly snickering at the very funny commentaries that are presented here…until i got to the Surfer Dude reference.
humanity so far: gov’ts are set up, religions are fabricated to instill terror, people (mostly kids) are recruited and sent over borders and beyond seas to DIE for causes that are less than worthy. KIDS, DYING; ppl, dying: 3k on 9.11, 3k in 1942, 300k in 1945, nam, etc.; and today’s most popular de-populating tool: nearing 3k in ‘06. phuck religion, phuck ‘em all… unless of course i am mistaken about the surfer dude reference =)
…am i wrong in suspectin that religion is somehow at the root of all this Human evil?
25 November 2006, on 2:17 pm
Krystalline Apostate says:
“Nor aught availed him now to have built in heaven high towers; nor did he scrape by all his engines, but was headlong sent with his industrious crew to build in hell.”
- Milton.
I had a course in Elizabethan poetry WAY back in college [I was an English Minor!]. Milton’s “Paradise Lost” was the main focus of the course, which, at the time, for me–as a budding AGNOSTIC Xtian,–created a certain nostalgic ’sympathy for the devil’. [Yeah, nice tune by the Stones, by the way…better performed, in my opinion, by Blood, Sweat & Tears!]
That Milton reference, and Stardust’s #20 comment [I like the smileys, Star!] remind me of something Xtians never seem to bother noticing, let alone, comprehend.
[Y’all please humor me on the following bit?]:
If Satan has the power to do all those ‘Godlike’ magical tricks…WAY beyond all that super hero comic book shtick…where does the power come from?
I think believers, backed against the proverbial wall, would agree, that the only REAL SOURCE of power, magical or otherwise, would have to initiate from…and be ALLOWED TO EXIST, and further…BE SUSTAINED in existence…by their all powerful Sky Gawd.
Now, of course…according to the totally made-up doctrine, there’s no way of logically [“HUH?”] avoiding the old: “THE BUCK STOPS AT THE TOP!” Soooo…bear with me…to repeat…everything is not only created, but sustained in existence by the Sky Daddy. In other words, ALL the visciousness, tricks, deceptions,…yeah, even ignorance and stupidity…etc. have to be laid at the existential doorstep of, what must be called, the “ALMIGHTY TYRANT”. All the world’s lesser tyrants [Hitler, etc.] PALE in comparison to that, albeit, non-existent, horrendous, archetypal model, that so many deluded human minds invented.
It’s always seemed so obvious to me, that THAT idea…almost in itself…shows the inherent contradiction of the Gawd idea. It’s contained, implicitly, in all the Western Cosmological notions of the deity’s so-called Plan, or Will…which the Muslims seem to have no problem with proclaiming. ‘Like’, no matter what happens…it’s Allah’s will. Every statement made, even casually, contains a contingency on the will of their deity. Xtians can’t quite see that THEIR dogma has the same resultant import. However, they just LOVE the notion of praising a totally unjust, and undeserving tyrant, which their Gawd represents!
It boils down to the old, unrecognized, ‘Occult’ dictum: “Demon est Deus inversus!” In other words Gawd and the Devil are the same! In other words, opposite sides of the same coin! To put it another way [if you prefer a more popular theme]…as in “Star Wars”…the Light and Dark Sides of the One Force.
“OK…Now that we, as atheists, recognize our enemy…
Does everyone have their ‘light saber’ ready for battle…against those evil, deluded, believers?”
[Chewbacca sound FX here!]
“Uh-oh…I never bought a light saber! You guys go on ahead…
(or, ala Marty Feldman in “Young Frankenstein”:
“You go foist!”
[Yeah, Star, I only know the boring Smileys!]
25 November 2006, on 2:23 pm
I just watched the video.
Holy crap (pun intended) what a bunch of garbage! These fucknuts had to invent Hell in order to control people, this is just an extension of that. As someone else pointed out, belief through threats and intimidation. And just just threats and intimidation, but ETERNAL threats and intimidation.
God and Jesus are the ones who should be thrown into the pits, for creating such a fucked up situation in the first place. If you want aimless sheep to worship you, then why make humans? Just make sheep.
Fucking christ, HOW CAN ANYONE BELIEVE THIS CRAP???
My personal message to god: You fucked up piece of shit! I got yer worship right here!
25 November 2006, on 5:18 pm
Oh man. I love the juxtoposition of the nun and the KKK people. And the sumo wrestlers appear to be ready to fight while they are waiting in line to be tossed into the fire by Jesus. Those darn lines can get so long, it’s always good to have something to do while you wait.
(The quality isn’t great, but that’s what it looked like from here.)
25 November 2006, on 6:01 pm
As Carlin put it: “But he loves you!”
That would be considered an “abusive relationship”, no?
I’ll see ya in Hell, folks!
25 November 2006, on 6:15 pm
Weasel,
Yes, he has threatened to send me to hell. But it was my fault! I shouldn’t have broken the rules he imposed on me! He can’t help it, that’s just the way he is! I should really try to be better, I just need to be careful not to upset him again. And no matter what anyone says, he’s MY god, and I love him!
OMFSM, this IS an abusive relationship!
-MomSquared (in jest)
27 November 2006, on 6:11 pm
I agree with Zipi: those are Spanish priests carrying a saint, not KKKers. I also saw a Mexican with his sombrero and sarape, and one of those English guards from outside Windsor Castle, you know, the guys with the tall black bear-fur helmets?
It’s kind of like Where’s Waldo? in hell!
28 November 2006, on 9:31 pm
Actually, Eve, the Spaniards carrying the saint are more likely to be plain catholics than priests. For all the times I remember the carrying of the saint, it was always done by regular people in penitence for their sins.
29 November 2006, on 1:56 pm
Point taken, Zipi, and poor guys; according to Chick, they’re going to hell anyway!