Armor of God PJs
22 August 2006 by Sean
(Thanks to Cathie for this one.)
Gotta love the billowing clouds.
What are the Armor Of God PJ’s? The Armor Of God PJ’s were inspired by a mother reading Ephesians 6:10-18 every night to her daughter to give her a safe and secure feeling in the dark. As they read the scriptures, they put on each spiritual and powerful piece of the Armor of God to keep them safe and peaceful while they slept. At that moment, God gave me the idea how wonderful it would be if all children could have the opportunity to put on a pair of pajamas that symbolized the Armor of God for the same purpose…that with their belief in Jesus and His protection they will feel safe and secure during the night as they sleep. As they dress in the mornings, they should replace them with the spiritual Armor of God to protect them in their daily activities.” alt=”What are the Armor Of God PJ’s? The Armor Of God PJ’s were inspired by a mother reading Ephesians 6:10-18 every night to her daughter to give her a safe and secure feeling in the dark. As they read the scriptures, they put on each spiritual and powerful piece of the Armor of God to keep them safe and peaceful while they slept. At that moment, God gave me the idea how wonderful it would be if all children could have the opportunity to put on a pair of pajamas that symbolized the Armor of God for the same purpose…that with their belief in Jesus and His protection they will feel safe and secure during the night as they sleep. As they dress in the mornings, they should replace them with the spiritual Armor of God to protect them in their daily activities.
22 August 2006, on 10:03 pm
You’ve gotta be shittin’ me…this is a spoof, right? Please tell me it’s a spoof!
22 August 2006, on 10:28 pm
Stardust – it’s not a spoof. Want some?
22 August 2006, on 10:35 pm
She’ll make so much money off of this too.
22 August 2006, on 10:43 pm
I am going to laugh if one of those kids gets kidnapped. Not because kidnapping if funny, but because the “armor of gawd” didn’t work.
22 August 2006, on 10:44 pm
Makes me wonder though, will her daughter ever outgrow it, or will she be wearing her crusaders in training in a college dorm?
22 August 2006, on 10:48 pm
I just hope those breastplates of righteousness are flame-retardant.
22 August 2006, on 10:50 pm
Are these baby Templars?
22 August 2006, on 11:00 pm
Unbelievable. What’s next, cruciform security blankets?
& they wonder why we mock them.
22 August 2006, on 11:15 pm
Oy Vey!
22 August 2006, on 11:28 pm
I wonder if these sporty duds help single the munchkins out for rogue priests. Okay, that was bad.
22 August 2006, on 11:31 pm
Just when you think they’ve outdone themselves they go and really out do themselves by pulling something like this. If these people had even an ounce of logic or rational thinking they would be so much better off. Do they really believe that this clothing is protecting their children? You better believe it.
Is this really the 21st century? Or have we been transported back to those so called good ol’days?
22 August 2006, on 11:45 pm
Unbelievable. What’s next, cruciform security blankets?
Don’t be ridiculous! I vote for Pope Benny-XVI underoos.
23 August 2006, on 12:17 am
Shit. Forgot the link. I hate it when I do that. Fixed. Follow the link, it’s crazy.
Thanks also to BigDumbChimp and several others who sent this in!
23 August 2006, on 12:35 am
Hmmm…ready made costumes for a Xtian grammar school rendition of Monty Python and
the Holy Grail?
Of course, they’d probably have to cut out the ‘Castle Anthrax’ scene…?
Yeah…Python and Carlin on my brain!…could be worse…
“It could be raining!” [No...no prize for your guess on that little reference]
Oh, alright…Hint: “What Knockers!”
Ummm…and a ‘logical’ (or is it ‘Devil’s advocate’) follow-up question…
Are those costumes water repellant? We KNOW they’re repellant!
23 August 2006, on 12:39 am
How creepy to be put to sleep every night to Ephesians and the whackjob apostle Paul.
23 August 2006, on 12:44 am
Too bad jesus didn’t have a set of these. The pillow shield mighta saved his ass.
23 August 2006, on 12:49 am
[...] I found the Carlin video on a sassy site populated by lots of non-believers: “God is for Suckers,” a site that makes Dangerous Intersection’s presentation look rather tame by comparison. Recent posts also include crusader pajamas for sale, for example. [...]
23 August 2006, on 12:59 am
Frau Blucher….NEEEIIIIGHHHHH
23 August 2006, on 4:05 am
“As they dress in the mornings, they should replace them with the spiritual Armor of God to protect them in their daily activities.”
Yeah, cos ‘Armor of God’ PJs are not going to save their asses from being stomped on by the school bully if they’re worn to school, that’s for sure!
23 August 2006, on 7:45 am
Those are great! I wonder if they come in adult sizes? My husband and I would by stylin’ in the bedroom with those.
23 August 2006, on 7:47 am
Aw man, I just checked their web site; they’re only for kids and the bastards didn’t even give you a reciprocal link on their “links” page…now is THAT the Xian way? Geesh…
23 August 2006, on 10:28 am
What’s with the girl’s head-dress? Note how it looks a lot like a Muslim form of dress for women. What message is this mother giving to her daughter about the equality of women? I think I have a pretty good idea–1 Timothy “women should be submissive”.
23 August 2006, on 10:32 am
I just checked their web site; they’re only for kids
That’s because these p.j.s are merely “brainwashing tools” for the young. “Visuals” and props are very effective in the brainwashing process, especially in children of an impressionable age.
23 August 2006, on 10:48 am
I wonder if the kids think it’s like Halloween every night and, then, get pissed off when it’s all prayers and no candy at bedtime.
23 August 2006, on 12:18 pm
I wonder if this woman would like to sell some of these PJ’s to this little girl who doesn’t want to take a bath for fear of drowning after Hurricane Katrina ripped apart her home.
23 August 2006, on 12:50 pm
Oh for pete’s sake – what the heck will they think of next? As some of you already pointed out, the red cross worn somewhere on the front of your visible layer of clothing was definitely the symbol that you were on crusade, ready to slay the heathens in the name of god! Let’s just continue to drum the message of war into their little heads; they’ll be all brainwashed and ready to translate “spiritual” battle into physical violence in no time flat.
23 August 2006, on 2:07 pm
Onward, Xtian Soldiers, anyone? Yes, jeebus would approve of this–you know he would…
Poor kids, you gotta feel sorry for them. An infant doesn’t learn hate until the parents teach it to him/her. And how did the “jeebus is love” become the “jeebus of hate”?
I still say the RaptureRight recognizes that it’s dying and that these are the actions of very desperate people. May the end of them come soon! In reason’s name, amen…
Naomi
23 August 2006, on 2:15 pm
I have to agree with Jimmer:
What century are these people living in? These are pajamas. They are pieces of cloth sewn together, most likely by underpaid workers in a Third- or Second-World country. Fooling kids into believing that they can attract God’s protection by wearing specific clothes when they sleep is utter lunacy. Chalk another bad move up for the theists. That’s only, what a couple billion now?
You know what this says to me, though? They’re flailing. They realize that there is a growing “trend”, so to speak, of disbelief. (It’s true– think of how many people would claim to be atheists or agnostics a century ago. Certainly not as many as today.) They’re reaching out and doing ridiculous things in order to brainwash the kids, because they understand that if they don’t, their numbers will only continue to dwindle.
Here’s a thought: How about teaching the kids that logic, reason, and common sense will get them much further in life than fairy tales? What’s that phrase? Oh, yeah.
“God helps those who help themselves.”
23 August 2006, on 2:43 pm
Sort of OT, but this made me wonder: does the magic underwear worn by Mormons look as silly?
23 August 2006, on 3:49 pm
Check this out – the little ones can “graduate” to:
JC Heart Xian Clothing for Teens – “Christian clothing for teens with extreme faith”
http://www.jcheart.com/
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.” (Little whores for jeebus?)
23 August 2006, on 4:13 pm
Star: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.” (Little whores for jeebus?)
Hmmm – how can you be “bought” by god for god if salvation through jesus is his “free gift” and you have to willingly “accept” it in order for it to have any effect? That really doesn’t make any sense; if god is offering me a free gift (never mind the fact that it’s not really “free,” since I have to believe it to receive it), then how can he be “buying” me? That would mean it’s not really a gift, but a payoff for becoming his what, slave, I guess?
Once again, for pete’s sake, give me a break. Naomi, you may be right and these are drowning victims grasping at very thin straws.
Tom, Mormon magic underwear is more glamorous because it’s gold cloth (you know, for those gold tablets that Smith got from Moroni and later “magically” disappeared)!
23 August 2006, on 4:19 pm
how can you be “bought” by god for god if salvation through jesus is his “free gift” and you have to willingly “accept” it in order for it to have any effect? That really doesn’t make any sense; if god is offering me a free gift (never mind the fact that it’s not really “free,” since I have to believe it to receive it), then how can he be “buying” me? That would mean it’s not really a gift, but a payoff for becoming his what, slave, I guess?
Eve – send over some Excedrin.
I immediately thought of “slave/whore” when I read that quote about being “bought by gawd”
23 August 2006, on 4:32 pm
Tom,
“does the magic underwear worn by Mormons look as silly?”
It’s missing the big red cross, but yes, it does.
23 August 2006, on 4:39 pm
At that moment, God gave me the idea how wonderful it would be if all children could have the opportunity to put on a pair of pajamas that symbolized the Armor of God for the same purpose…that with their belief in Jesus and His protection they will feel safe and secure during the night as they sleep.
Did gawd also give her the idea to charge $39.95 or was that some scriptural interpretation? Sure, the kids have “the opportunity” she refers to, but only if their parents shell out $40 bucks. They look like something Landover Baptist would market as a joke.
23 August 2006, on 4:44 pm
They look like something Landover Baptist would market as a joke.
That’s why I thought it was a spoof when I first saw this.
23 August 2006, on 4:54 pm
People are making lots and lots of money off of xianity. It’s HUGE business. When surfing the net one can find and endless number of xian-related products — jewelry, clothing, books, music, videos, household decor items, trinkets, statuettes, etc. etc. etc. And also xian vacations, dating services, resorts, xian-themed amusement parks, etc. Marketing companies are busy fueling fundamentalism and religious fanaticism and in turn suckers are buying into their expensive gimmicks and xian-themed products.
23 August 2006, on 5:59 pm
“I still say the RaptureRight recognizes that it’s dying and that these are the actions of very desperate people. May the end of them come soon! In reason’s name, amen…
Naomi, that’s been my position all along. The flock has caught the scent of wolf on the apocalyptic breeze and they’re behaving like cornered, wounded, rabid animals one upping each other in extremity. They fail to recognize that the wolf is just reason and common sense catching up with them and not some phantasmic commufemihomoseculiberal horde pounding at their door.
I just wonder a) how much longer they can continue this final tantrum and b) will they go out with a bang or a whimper? Personally, I’m betting on “during my lifetime” and, resigned, unfortunately, to “With a colossal bang”.
23 August 2006, on 6:43 pm
Hey, I found something our male xian lurkers would like!
http://www.webundies.com/fb026.htm
23 August 2006, on 7:01 pm
There you go, Star! *tosses her a bottle of Excedrin*
Those pj’s are as funny as those figurines of jesus engaged in various sports – you know, jesus playing soccer (and fouling the kids playing against him!), football, etc.
23 August 2006, on 7:30 pm
The Armor Of God PJ’s were inspired by a mother reading Ephesians 6:10-18 every night to her daughter to give her a safe and secure feeling in the dark.
Ephesians 6:10-18 talks about “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” and “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness” so that we may “withstand in the evil day.”
This is of course most likely followed up with:
“Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lawd my soul to keep
If I should DIE before I wake
I pray the lawd my soul to take.”
Then does she expect her child to have “sweet dreams”?
This prayer is what I was taught as a little child and it worried the crap out of me! What a thing to send a child to sleep with! I lay there wondering sometimes what would happen if I didn’t wake up and where would the angels take me and would I ever see my family again.
Even when we were xians, my husband and I never did the “now I lay me down to sleep” bullshit with our kids. I always sang little fun songs or read one of their favorite stories, or talked about good things that we were going to do the next day so they would go to sleep thinking happy thoughts…not about DYING.
23 August 2006, on 8:10 pm
I see payamas like that and I’m reminded of little Ralphy in “A Christmas Story”. With the rabbit suit.
RDZ
Not to take exception to your claim but there really is a phantasmic commufemihomoseculiberal horde pounding at their door. I know, I saw them. And man was that lady scared.
23 August 2006, on 9:25 pm
I think the p.j.s would make fine underwear under the KKK Junior robes that many little redneck xians wear to Saturday night bonfires.
23 August 2006, on 9:42 pm
Re: These PJs and Mormon Garments. At least PJs are worn in private. I live in Southern Utah, and these guys wear thier’s UNDER a T-shirt.
BTW, Ive lived among the members of the International House of Handshakes for more than five years now, and Ive learned that the Mormon church has very few believers, but lots of followers.
23 August 2006, on 11:03 pm
Stardust wrote:
“When surfing the net one can find and endless number of xian-related products [snip] And also xian vacations, dating services, resorts, xian-themed amusement parks, etc.”
Yup, just like this one:
http://www.theholylandexperience.com/
N.V.T.S. nuts!
(History of the World Part I quote–man, oh man, do I LOVE that movie…)
The aforementioned theme park had a huge, tacky, glossy advert in an Orlando travel magazine I came across at work. I shared it with one of our physicians at work who is also a closet Freethinker like me, we got a good laugh out of it. Even nominally religious people in my workplace thought it was “tacky”.
–JJR
23 August 2006, on 11:18 pm
This is eerily remiscent of “The Bible Answer Man”’s (Hank Hanagraph) book about the “Full Armor of God” (presumably TM). Maybe we should inform ol’ Hank of the potential copyright violations, and have a few laughs as the nice christian’s have a legal fight over intellectual property issues?
24 August 2006, on 12:17 am
godsarefake much earlier said: “Frau Blucher….NEEEIIIIGHHHHH”
You win ‘gaf’…no prize [surprise!]…a late thanks, however, for playing along with my ‘bullshtick’…but…maybe:
“Walk this way!”…THIS way! [demonstrates very short walking stick]…
ok, ‘nough already!…well, maybe this?:
“COMMENT this way!”
[I know…stop that!…it’s silly!]
24 August 2006, on 6:31 am
Ironically, it now makes them look like little members of the BNP (British
NaziNationalist Party)Does it come with a money back guarentee? If the house collapses during the night and God doesn’t protect the little dears, can the parents get a refund?
24 August 2006, on 3:15 pm
Silly man, Mr. Clark; don’t you know that if that happens it’s because it was their time to go/it’s part of his plan which is so mysterious we can never understand it so we might as well simply accept it/he answered their prayer that those pj’s protect them with “no”/thedevildiddit/the world is evil because human beings brought sin into it/oh, fuck it, you get the picture…?
25 August 2006, on 2:21 am
What I love about these is that it makes them look like England football fans. They should dress up like this and come to matches.
25 August 2006, on 11:16 am
How much do you want to bet that some of the performers at “The holy land experience” are gay?
I can only hope that the thrashing and death rattle of the raptureright doesn’t take out everyone else at the same time. Can you imagine what the evolved roaches will think when they dig up our still-radioactive remains 10 million years from now?
26 August 2006, on 4:12 am
To the creator Peggy,
You are truly one of God’s more “SPECIAL” creations, but seriously,,,,,are you FUCKING KIDDING?????? Or just outright insane? Tonight on HBO Bill Maher compared your sleepware to KKK training uniforms, I agree. They look absolutely rediculous. I can’t believe anyone would force their children to wear them, much less waste good money on this sort garment. Maybe you can join forces with the Mormans and design a new line of magical underpants for their clan. Hope you make tons of money off your efforts, and I’ll bet it’s all for Jesus too,,,,, Right…….WHAT A MARKETING PLAN!
HMMM! Now stick that in your book of stories and get a life!
PS: I’m an Agnostic equal opportunity offender and click on just as many religious websites as I do gay porn sites!
PPSS: Do these come in any other colors??? Perhaps a Satin lined Rainbow striped Lame’…….
11 September 2006, on 11:46 pm
I am a moron and I’ve been unable to outgrow my childish need for a superpowerful, invisible father figure- like Santa Claus except the benevolent, watchful gaze lasts all the year long! Or, well, I like to imagine it does, though deep, deep down, buried in years worth of downy soft, woolen delusion, I know that it’s no more unearthly than a daily double dip of dilaudid that still lets me function, albeit in a stupor. Still, rather than seek help- or, god forbid, summon up the willpower from within and do it myself, for my psychological affliction, I’d prefer to keep my head down lest I draw the cruel eye of my
shepherdpastor. Ooooh, forget I said any of that. I’m frightened that my pastor may have learned to read.1 October 2006, on 8:45 pm
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!! HOW DARE YOU USE GOD’S WORD IN SOME KIND OF JOKE! YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL GOD ACTUALLY GAVE YOU A LIFE TO LIVE AND YOUR USING HIM IN SOME WAY TO MAKE A COUPLE OF BUCKS??!!!!