Could it be… Satan?
27 June 2006 by Sean
Alright. Don’tcha think possessing thought patterns like this should automatically disqualify you from holding public office?
Jacob’s bad luck: Is it . . . Satan?
As if beating a five-term congressman wasn’t hard enough, John Jacob said he has another foe working against him: the devil.
“There’s another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C.,” Jacob said. “It’s the devil is what it is. I don’t want you to print that, but it feels like that’s what it is.”
Jacob said Thursday that since he decided to run for Congress against Rep. Chris Cannon, Satan has bollixed his business deals, preventing him from putting as much money into the race as he had hoped.
Numerous business deals he had lined up have been been delayed, freezing money he was counting on to finance his race.
“You know, you plan, you organize, you put your budget together and when you have 10 things fall through, not just one, there’s some other, something else that is happening,” Jacob said.
Asked if he actually believed that “something else” was indeed Satan, Jacob said: “I don’t know who else it would be if it wasn’t him. Now when that gets out in the paper, I’m going to be one of the screw-loose people.”
Jacob initially said the devil was working against him during a Wednesday immigration event, then reiterated his belief Thursday in a meeting with The Salt Lake Tribune editorial board.
“There’s a lot of adversity. There’s no question I’ve had experiences that I think there’s an outside force,” he said.
University of Utah political scientist Matthew Burbank said Jacob’s sentiment is unusual for a political candidate and might show his inexperience, but is unlikely to be a major issue for the conservative voters he is targeting.
“Given that, I don’t think it’s very likely to make a big splash among Republican primary voters, but certainly if he gets through to the general election it might come up again and he’d have to explain it more,” Burbank said.
In other words, for the average Republican voter you can be a ranting fucking lunatic (as long as you believe in Jebus). It’s only after your scary ass starts to inch toward a position of actual power and prestige that certain individuals start to sit up and go: “What the flying fuck??”
[Thanks to reader Greg for sending this one in.]
27 June 2006, on 6:15 pm
O.M.F. – You have got to be kidding me… This is just more proof of the immeasurable idiocy in the world today.
27 June 2006, on 6:25 pm
Tim Curry is certainly a big, rubbery man.
27 June 2006, on 6:55 pm
////Now when that gets out in the paper, I’m going to be one of the screw-loose people.”////
As if he doesn’t have a screw loose? LOL. A reasonable man would have known that it was god all along putting out the challenge. Simple as that. See I just figured it out for him. Maybe I should send him this tidbit of info and get paid for it.
Hey screw-loose Shut the F*** up. And get a job.
27 June 2006, on 6:58 pm
I’m starting to see some anti-Prince of Darkness crap on this blog and I want it to f–king stop!
Everyone has rights, and the POD certainly has a right to try to influence elections – for heaven’s sake, everyone else does.
Just stop it now!
And Sean, your final paragraph? – LOL.
And, the flag-burning amendment went down by one vote. Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
27 June 2006, on 7:50 pm
# catherine Says:
June 27th, 2006 at 6:58 pm e
I’m starting to see some anti-Prince of Darkness crap on this blog and I want it to f–king stop!
Everyone has rights, and the POD certainly has a right to try to influence elections – for heaven’s sake, everyone else does.
Just stop it now!
But, as Marcus points out, it\’s just Tim Curry in a rubber… I mean, a rubber suit.
And Sean, your final paragraph? – LOL.
Thanks! I\’ll be by the BBQ all week, toasting souls.
And, the flag-burning amendment went down by one vote. Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Now the fun part comes when these assholes try to re-stage the whole fed election around that bullshit distraction and the gay marriage amendment. We will either see a) a nation of stumbling dolts drool and go \”Duh, dey\’s hoodwinking us\” and actually go vote what is left of their barely developed consciences, or b) a nation of stumbling dolts go off to the polls, drool, hack up a major league loogie, and fall for it hook, line, and kitchen fucking sink. Anybody in for a long bet?
27 June 2006, on 9:38 pm
Running a little late on this one. The funny thing is this guy might win his primary. The guy is basically running the “I’m a bigger Jesus Freak than the other Jesus Freak” campaign.
And people are stupid enough to follow this wingnut.
He’s just playing the demographics, for crying out loud.
Personally, I think all Atheist and agnotics should protest paying taxes at this point.
Can you say “Faith-Based Initiative”? Sure, I knew you could…
27 June 2006, on 10:12 pm
People like this need to be egged on to even greater heights of dementia. On the other hand, having satan against one would be a badge of honor in fundie circles, would it not? I mean, gawd forbid the debil is working for Jacob.
Just for fun, Jacob ought to be schtupped by a horse till he’s dead.
One’s religion- or lack thereof- should be private as Rush Limbaugh’s Viagra prescription. Public espousal of religion ought to disqualify one from government office. Politicians should be judged by their stances on the issues and not by whether they put in a weekly appearance in the front pew at their local Godde Shoppe.
27 June 2006, on 10:12 pm
Just for fun, Jacob ought to be schtupped by a horse till he’s dead.
28 June 2006, on 9:15 am
John understands that he sounds like a raving lunatic when he makes outlandish statements about devils and satanic forces (”I’m going to be one of the screw-loose people.”)but he still says it to a reporter. Obviously the only reason 10 things have fallen through for him is because he’s a total idiot.
When the boils appear on his flesh, as was Job’s unfortunate plight in another mythical tale, maybe he’ll quit blaming an imaginary devil and lay the blame squarely on his non-existent god.
28 June 2006, on 12:59 pm
Marcus Says:
June 27th, 2006 at 6:25 pm e
Tim Curry is certainly a big, rubbery man.
I don’t care how weird this makes me sound; he was *hot* (pun intended) in that flick!
28 June 2006, on 2:31 pm
Hey, at least there’s a BIT of good news in all this. He lost in the primaries, 20,934 to 27,115. The bad news is that there’s still nearly 21,000 raving fundie lunatics who’d vote for that sort of guy…