Wow. What a weekend for GifS.

Things brought to our attention over the three-day American holiday… During which we honor the military dead, as opposed to the vastly greater numbers of civilian victims of war — by symbolically charring meat on a barbecue:

1) King Retard had the honor of receiving a customized form letter, alongside “66 WORLD REPORTS/BLOGS,” from the lunatic Filipino outlaw judge Florentino (”I hurl illnesses”) Floro — thanks to this post back in early May. Like I said in the comment thread, how awesome that this guy took the time to formally cite “King Retard” and “Stupidity” (one can only assume he didn’t quite know what the words meant — or that, like any good lawyer, he was just being thorough) in the header of his nutjob press release.

2) We heard from a fella named Doug Duncan, who wrote to us in regards to one of the few postings I have ever made that complimented a Christian, God Doesn’t Need Ole Anthony — mentioning an awesome New Yorker piece from late ‘04… The story of Ole Anthony, a guy who runs a tiny East Dallas Xian sect hell-bent on the destruction of televangelists. Doug says that Anthony’s group is a cult (surprise, surprise):

Doug Duncan:
May 30th, 2006 at 12:14 am e

I guess this comment falls under the “evil done in the name of religion” category, though I am still a Christian myself. It turns out that the believer you are so enamored with, Ole Anthony, is little better than the televangelists whom he criticizes. The group he leads in Dallas is actually a religious cult. I know, because I used to be a member. In fact, my wife has just written a book about our painful separation from that group and our disillusionment at finding out that much of what we believed in was not true. You can get the gist of our story off our website at www.dallascult.com. I am sorry that I have to be the one to point out that the one person (other than Dena) whom you admired who is a Christian turns out to be not so good after all. There are good Christians in the world, Ole Anthony just doesn’t happen to be one of them.

I still say Anthony is the lesser of two evils when compared to, say, the man he brought to his knees (so to speak) in 1991, Robert (”The Farting Preacher”) Tilton.

3) And last, but most definitely not least, Ron discovered that our own Lya Kahlo was quoted by none other than the prestigious Columbia Journalism Review for her post O’Reilly: “This is the U-Whited Whites of White-merica”:

It is Bill O’Reilly’s recent immigration-related press criticism that has Lya Kahlo at God Is For Suckers up in arms. O’Reilly’s offending words (uttered May 16th in the “Memo” portion of his Fox News show, “The O’Reilly Factor”):

[The New York Times] and many far-left thinkers believe the white power structure that controls America is bad, so a drastic change is needed. According to the lefty zealots, the white Christians who hold power must be swept out by a new multicultural tide, a rainbow coalition, if you will. This can only happen if demographics change in America. An open-border policy and the legalization of millions of Hispanic illegal aliens would deeply affect the political landscape in America. That’s what the New York Times and many others on the left want. They might get it. And that’s the “Memo.”

Here is Kahlo’s reaction (well, the politer part of it): “… I can’t even pretend to be surprised that O’Reilly would say these things. It’s been a few days since his name was in the papers. And, since it looks like his political masters are going to lose big time in the next round of elections, he’s got to start lying early if he hopes to help dupe the stupid into voting for them again.”

Right on, GifSters. We almost seem relevant in the grand scheme of things. Let’s party. Someone pass one of those crucifix-shaped Mallomars.

For those of you that don’t follow the comments feeds and may have missed this weirdness, we received a strange form letter, clearly intended for all media outlets and blogs that had written about the case, from the whacko Filipino judge who King Retard penned an entry about in early May.

You know, the guy who was dismissed from his job for talking to mystic dwarfs (among other things). Apparently, he is still trying to clear his good name with missives to the media. At least, I think that’s his goal. However, I don’t think the contents of the letter are going to work much in his favor. He has, he confesses, been psychically “inflicting illnesses” upon his tormentors, even going so far as to ensure one of them gave birth to a child with eplilepsy. This is apparently part of some righteous crusade he is on to cleanse the Phillipino court system of graft and corruption.

Here is the unexpurgated letter as we received it:

The Editor-in-Chief, Owner, Blogger,
The Publisher, Manager/OIC, May 30, 2006 (date of filing
(of my 87 page 2nd Supplement-Appeal with the P.I. Supreme Court)
Re: God is for Suckers !
Wednesday, 3 May 2006
The Fortune-Telling Judge and the Three Dwarfs
• Religion
• Stupidity
• Funny
— King Retard @ 1:16 pm

Sirs/Madam,
I am Judge Florentino V. Floro, Jr. (a Regional Trial Court Judge of Br. 73, Malabon, NCJR, Metro Manila, REPUBLIC OF THE PHILIPPINES). My physical address is 123 Dahlia, Alido, Malolos, 3000 Bulacan, Philippines. My E-mail Address is: judge_florentino_v_floro@yahoo.com; my telephone number is (044) 662-82-03, digitel, Philippines.
On April 7, 2006, the Philippine Supreme Court RELIEVED (separated – it did not dismiss) me from judicial service, and paid me 3 years backwages, by reason of PSYCHOSIS, a medical incapacity; they said – because I allegedly believed in dwarves, angel of death, inflicting sicknesses, psychic phenomena and (had in writing) predicted the downfall of 13th Philippine President Joseph Estrada (on December, 1998) who was ousted by people power on January 20, 2001. You can read the Philippine Supreme Court Decision penned by M. Justice Minita Viray-Chico Nazario, 75 pages, March 31, 2006 in: Judge Florentino V. Floro, Jr. A.M. No. RTJ-99-1460 OCAD – versus – JUDGE FLORENTINO V. FLORO, JR….supremecourt.gov.ph/jurisprudence/…/mar2006/A.M. No. RTJ-99-1460.htm – 525k -
This is the FIRST time in world judicial history that this happened. The American and other Constitutions provide for dismissal or removal of judges, jurists and magistrates because of graft, corruption, misconduct, or bad behaviour; but resignation – only for those medically incapacitated. In the Philippines, this is the FIRST — for since 1901, the Philippine Supreme Court never ever dismissed or removed a judge because of belief in the paranormal, religion and psi. Hence, REUTERS, AFP, AP, ASIAN REPORTER, MSNBC, MY WAY News, NEW24.com, ABC NEWS ONLINE, GULF TIMES, 7DAYS, AE, BUZZSPREE.COM, FOREING BLOGGERS, THE DAILY JUDGE, or a total of 66 foreign REPORTS, NEWS, HEADLINES, BLOGS and 14 Philippine News Headlines, covered – REPORTED – the said DECISION / my RELIEF due to psychosis.

On April 12, 2006, or 4 days later, the Philippines was shocked by the painful DEATH of Lawyer Atty. Luzviminda D. Puno, former clerk of court of the Supreme Court and wife of Senior Justice Reynato S. Puno, who passed at the St. Luke”s Medical Hospital in Quezon City due to complications from a heart surgery. She was 65. Manila Bulletin Online www.mb.com.ph/issues/2006/04/13/SP_PROV20060413.html.

On May 4, 2006, I filed by APPEAL (81 PAGES, Partial Reconsideration) of the 75 pages March 31, 2006 DECISION, and on May 30, 2006, I filed with the P.I. Supreme Court, my 87 pages SECOND SUPPLEMENT to my APPEAL (all these are attached with this letter for your perusal/if it can be accommodated, if not, please send me your E-mail address).

I write / e-mail to you and to all REPORTERS who reported me, because, I want to THANK you, for NOTING my painful case. Let me therefore, tell you the STORY and TRUTH behind the DECISION, and these 66 WORLD REPORTS/BLOGS,etc.
TRUTH:
I never used the word DWARVES in any DECISION, and I never consulted any imaginary dwarf to pen my decisions, my detractors submitted these false evidence or lies; and what I do believed in is: in the so-called SPIRIT GUIDES or PROTECTORS. LUIS, is the KING OF ALL KINGS of ELEMENTALS/spirits worldwide; and he is GOD’s ANGEL (Genesis, Exodus, etc.) What I believe in, is what St. Paul teaches: Gifts of the Holy Spirit, Prophecy and Spiritual Healing. I am GIFTED, and I never tried to develop my psychic powers, since what I believe in, is God’s GIFT to me of these — TO HEAL and TO PROPHESY, I never used these in DECISIONS.
I am not psychotic, and if you read the DECISION, it RULED that I can apply in other government positions that do not require dispensation of justice. I am a victim of INJUSTICE. On September 19, 1995, I stated that Atty. Teresita Cruz-Sison (Judicial and Bar Council Member) would suffer massive STROKE. HER VENGEANCE resulted in the submitting of FALSE EVIDENCE about DWARFS, ANGELS, PSYCHIC PHENOMENA, etc. Here in the Philippines, Judges, Justices are first NOMINATED by the Judicial and Bar Council (who selects 3) and the President of the Philippines appoints a Judge or Justice based on these 3 submissions.

I admit that GOD has chosen me to be the instrument to CLEAN the Philippine Supreme Court and Judiciary of CORRUPTION and abuse of power — by inflicting illnesses. I admit that the controversial DECISION was released as it is, RELIEVING me but PAYING me backwages because I was placed under PREVENTIVE SUSPENSION since July 20,1999 until now, or 6 ¾ years; so THE INVESTIGATION TOOK 6 ¾ YEARS, NOT 3 YEARS AS YOU ALL REPORTED. I could not work nor practice my job because of that punishment.

NOW, the judge who was supposed to replace me on 1999, Judge ROSA CASAS REYES (throat and lungs cancer), who was appointed as Judge for the neighbor Branch 74, RTC, Malabon, is on TERMINAL SICK LEAVE since last year; Assisting Judge Leonido was appointed in her stead. Last year, I was DISCRIMINATED, because, while I was forcibly tested by 5 mental health professionals, plus one psychiatrist, Judge Rosa Reyes was not even required to be examined by a panel of doctors, so as to RELIEVE her, as required by Philppine Constitution.

IN SUM, KARMA and the CURSE as we Catholics and Christians believe in have their own ways in revealing the truth; my clerk of court, Atty. Esmeralda G. Dizon, who submitted false evidence about dwarfs and psychic phenomena, to make it appear that I have brain damage, now, her first born, GELAY, 10 years old was inflicted with EPILEPSY, with 2x a week severe attacks. I admit that my GUIDE LUIS did all these, to impress upon the Philippine Judiciary, that receiving BRIBE money and abuse of powers, due to lust for glory, cannot remain unpunished in the laws of these UNSEEN, that are more REAL than we ever imagine. I REPEAT, LUIS, ARMAND AND ANGEL ARE NOT THE LOWLY DWARVES OR GNOMNES BUT SPIRIT GUIDES AND PROTECTORS THAT GOD HAD CHOSES AS INSTRUMENTS TO RID THE PHILIPPINE JUDICIARY OF MISFITS AND ROTTEN EGGS, THOSE THAT FAIL TO DELIVER IMPARTIAL JUSTICE BECAUSE OF MONEY, GREASE OR GRAFT MONEY.

The PONENTE in this case, Justice MINITA VIRAY CHICO-NAZARIO (the wife of ROD NAZARIO, you, know, the former promoter of WBC boxing champion MANNY PACQUIO) was a Sandiganbayan Justice of the Philippines who was promoted Philippine Supreme Court Justice on July, 2004. She fought so hard for me, and were it not for many MEDICAL SURGERIES undergone by S.C. Justices in the Philippines, due to this painful case, I would have been REINSTATED and given JUSTICE.

But your 66 WORLD REPORTS vindicated me: this is the FIRST in world judicial history that a CASE had been REPORTED with GREAT MAGNITUDE, with COMPASSION and SARCASM, in my favor.
THANKS. And please do read the LONG DECISION, THE LONG APPEALS, …attached herewith (if it can be accommodated, if not, please send me your e-mail address). The PEACE OF CHRIST.
Sincerely,
Judge FLORENTINO V. FLORO, JR.,
123 Dahlia, Alido, Malolos, 3000 BULACAN, PHILIPPINES,
Tel/#(044) 662-82-03;
(Presiding Judge, Branch 73, RTC, MALABON, NCJR, M.M., PHILIPPINES)
[I.D. Number: RTCJ-317 / EDP Number: 38676300; ROLL OF ATTORNEY’S NO. 32800, Pg. No. 60, Book No. XIV]

You know you don’t wanna be reading this weekend, anyway. This one was sent in by Aesmael.

Joey Ratzo, former Hitler Youth member and the Vatican’s Prefect of Inquisition (see the earlier post, The new Pope: From Hitler youth to Prefect of Inquisition), has asked an excellent question (German-born pope laments Holocaust crimes):

Pope Benedict XVI visited the Auschwitz concentration camp as “a son of the German people” Sunday and asked God why he remained silent during the “unprecedented mass crimes” of the Holocaust… “To speak in this place of horror, in this place where unprecedented mass crimes were committed against God and man, is almost impossible — and it is particularly difficult and troubling for a Christian, for a pope from Germany… In a place like this, words fail; in the end, there can be only a dread silence, a silence which itself is a heartfelt cry to God: Why, Lord, did you remain silent? How could you tolerate all this?”

Excellent question, Joey. Gold star for you. And while we’re at it: “Why didn’t you tell me not to join the Hitler Youth? And why didn’t you tell Pius to oppose the deportation and slaughter of Jews?” Man, that God is one hands-off deity. It’s almost like He, I dunno, doesn’t really give a shit. Or doesn’t actually exist. You know, like that.

(Thanks to all of you who sent this one in.)375 home loan equityloan 95 homepayday advances america loansalabama loans consolidation debt125 on home loansca mortgage loans 2ndaccess loans paydayloan adjustable california mortgage Map

File under Ridiculous And Impossible to Refute:

Barry Bonds hit his 715th home run today, surpassing steroid-free Babe Ruth (sorry, Giants fans… you may now demand my beheading for blasphemy).

And one fan saw it all coming.

“I was psyched. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for a long time,” said Jesse Weber, who has been to every Giants home game this season. “When I walked into the stadium I knew it was going to happen today.”

One of the dumbest mumbo-jumboisms you will witness on a near-daily basis is the putz who claims after the fact that he/she “knew [fill-in-the-blank] was gonna happen.”

My mother used to pull this crap when we were kids… If she ever had a moment in which she could claim some psychic ability, she would. It was a brilliant way of keeping us kids thinking she had god-like powers. She’d walk back into the house after forgetting her purse or something, catch us fighting, and say, “I was halfway down the street when I saw this happening! Don’t think that just because I’m not here means I don’t know what you’re up to!”

Next time someone says to you, “I knew this was gonna happen today,” ask them what they think is gonna happen tomorrow. See how quickly they answer.

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Indonesians plead for aid; toll over 4,300

BANTUL, Indonesia – Tens of thousands camped out for a second night Sunday in streets, cassava fields and the paths between rice paddies as the death toll from Indonesia’s earthquake topped 4,300. [...] Torrential rain late Sunday added to the misery of some 200,000 people left homeless by Saturday’s 6.3-magnitude quake, most of them living in makeshift shelters of plastic, canvas or cardboard. Thousands of wounded awaited treatment in hospitals overflowing with bloodied patients. [...] The worst devastation was in the Bantul district, which accounted for three-quarters of the deaths. One man dug his 5-year-old daughter out of the rubble of her bedroom only to have her die in a hospital awaiting treatment with hundreds of others. “Her last words were ‘Daddy, Daddy,’” said Poniran, who like many Indonesians uses only one name. “I have to start my life from zero again.”

Hey, Augustine claimed that God corrects and tests the faith of parents through the suffering and death of their children. So, like, what’s the big deal?

Another UPDATE on the death toll

Doctor Throws 2 Kids, Self Off Balcony

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. �-� Qinuo Van Dyk heard one of her children screaming from an adjacent room at a landmark South Beach hotel, walked into the room and saw her husband jump off the 15th-floor balcony, police said.

She looked over the railing and saw her husband and two young children lying on a mezzanine roof at the Loews Hotel about two floors above the ground.

What’s the difference between this story and the story of Abraham — except in Abraham’s story, Gawd stopped him before he threw the kid over the railing? In other words, why do we praise psychotic behavior and its divine inspiration when we are reading about Biblical characters, but then we say without a doubt that this man was indeed sick? Is it possible that the story of Abraham was inspired by a real-life man who, in a mentally disturbed state, tried to kill his child until he had a hallucination of Gawd telling him not to?

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More proof (as if we needed any) that religion is insane.

Iraqi athletes killed for wearing shorts

BAGHDAD, Iraq May 27, 2006 (AP)— An Iraqi tennis coach and two of his players were shot to death this week in Baghdad because they were wearing shorts, authorities said Saturday, reporting the latest in a series of recent attacks attributed to Islamic extremists….

Extremists had distributed leaflets warning people in the mostly Sunni neighborhoods of Saidiyah and Ghazaliyah warning people not to wear shorts, police said.

“Wearing shorts by youth are prohibited because it violates the principals of Islamic religion when showing forbidden parts of the body. Also women should wear the veil,” the leaflets said.

I wanna see a soccer team that plays dressed like this.

All I can say is: fucking sick shit.