I didn’t realize today was Holocaust Remembrance Day, despite the Holocaust documentary I watched last night, until I just glanced down at my desk calendar.

I don’t feel there’s anything I can say about it that hasn’t already been said much more eloquently by people much more entitled to speak about it than I.

P.S. The image and theme I posted for this earlier were for Holocaust Memorial Day, which is a commemoration held in the UK every year for similar reasons. Other links include the US Holocaust Memorial Museum, this multimedia remembrance, another link I had up before, and countless others you can find by simply Googling “Holocaust Remembrance Day.”

icp ringtones

In 1983, Motorola DynaTAC was ringtones free nickelback approved ringtones free nickelback by FCC in the United States.

If I didn’t know that Kirk Cameron (of TVs Growing Pains) had become the big Jeebus-buddy of direct-to-video, I would think this was a (you know, intentional) joke (rather than the unintentional joke that it is). Thanks to Brian for the pointer. There’s lots more good stuff from Kirk out there. More to come, no doubt.

Kind of reminds me of the “If God didn’t want us to masturbate, why did he make our arms just that long?” bit.

And I could watch the banana-handling part all day long.

Something you should know about me: I’ve always been fascinated (and by fascinated I mean completely freaked out) by the Mormon Church. In the spirit of one of the freakiest religions out there, I came acorss this article about MORMON CRICKETS!!! Umm, not sure what makes them Mormon, but I’m guessing jizzus revealed himself to them (being a lost tribe of crickets or something) and there was some magic glasses, or something.

RENO, Nev. – The threat of being eaten could drive the march of Mormon crickets as they munch their way across millions of acres in the arid West, new research suggests.

“We don’t honestly know if they move faster than they would because of the fear of being eaten,” Lorch said. “But that’s the sort of thing we imagine is going on.”horny preteenssluts nastymasturbation dildofucking momsmet girlsboobs bestfucking showercheerleader lesbians Map

This company-written press release is hot off the wires (don’t I sound like a real news guy?)

Christian Myspace.com? Yes JCFaith.com Does it

Snippet:

Chattanooga, TN, April 24, 2006 –(PR.COM)– New Christian website, JCFaith.com, has aspirations of delivering a clean, safe, and fun faith based alternative in the emerging online social networking arena.

FBN Media Inc. which is based out of one of the nation’s most livable cities, Chattanooga, TN. Launched its faith based social networking website on April 24, 2006, JCFaith.com. Social networking websites are sites where users create the content through their personal bio pages, blogs, online photo albums and forum posts. Popular sites in this sector include MySpace.com, Xanga.com and Facebook.com which have been under heavy scrutiny from most critics lately. JCFaith.com plans to enter this arena as the safe, clean, fun alternative to the popular sites getting plenty of media attention.

“Under heavy scrutiny from most critics lately”? What kind of a mealy-mouthed statement is that? That’s like me saying: “Mr. Johnson, who some that call themselves opinionated are known to dislike.” But it’s even worse, because it implies some kind of professional opinion by using the word “critic” — without saying what kind of critic, what their credentials are, who in fact they actually are, and what they are criticizing. Only a dumbass Xian would let that one slip by.

Anyway.

I went ahead and signed up (cont’d below)…

… As usual, they are trying to seize on the young. Here’s some stuff from the admin’s welcome message:

JCFaith.com (www.JCFaith.com) seeks to bring Christians together that have a p\”bleep\”ion for God, life, community and technology.

Okay, at first I thought I must be woefully uncool in the area of bleeped obscenity, because I couldn’t figure out what the hell p\”bleep\”ion for God means. My first thoughts: unless this site was an elaborate joke, I couldn’t imagine that it actually meant to imply “hardon for God” — but it did kind of resemble that, given the sentence structure. That would have been hilarious.

But after browsing around and seeing the same bleep a number of times, I realized that the word was “passion!’ Their obscenity filter is bleeping the word “ass” out of “passion” everywhere on their site!

The very word they use to describe the crucifixion of their Lord and Savior.

That’s just ironic beyond words. Has anyone made the porn movie yet? Come on. You know it’s gotta be done. The Assion of the Christ. Bwahahaha!

More:

The site is also geared for those that are seeking direction in their life and want to learn more about the Christian faith.

But of course it is… Wouldn’t be any fun if there wasn’t some handy indoctrination included, now would it?

And:

New Safety Features:

3. There is a filter in place to scramble obscene expressions.

Yup. Like… um… “passion”??

I really hope this does turn out to be a gag. Alas, I fear it is not.

Following in the footsteps of stardust1954’s “ghostly” lead, I looked up something I remembered seeing a preview for on TV just recently.

It appears that everyone’s favorite gold-digging harpy – excuse me, sensitive psychic – Sylvia Browne is on the prowl again on her favorite game preserve – excuse me, TV program – the Montel Williams Show, on Wednesday 04/26/06’s upcoming episode. This is what these suckers – excuse me, guests – want to find out from Ms. Browne:

“Candice: Wants to know about her fiancé’s death
Ricky: Believes his house may be haunted and wants to know why
Ken: Says that his mother was trying to tell him something when she was on her deathbed
Leila: Wants to know the significance of her dreams
Nilsa: Wants to know who is haunting her family
Cheryl: Says she is able to see into the future”

I feel real empathy for Candice and Ken, whose situations involve the death of a loved one and an ensuing mystery; it’s hard to find closure when you don’t really know what happened to your fiancé (he was shot outside an ATM; police haven’t found the murderer) or what family secret your mother might have wanted to tell you before she died. But I would never appeal to a psychic to find these things out; how on earth would you ever be able to prove what she said, especially if the murder case remains closed and no one in the family knows or admits to what your mother may have known? You could spend the rest of your life hoping that the answers you were given were real, a false comfort at best.

I’d rather just face the fact that I don’t have those answers – but that’s just me, I guess.

I would try to find a way to profit from the gullibility of superstitious people if I didn’t have any of my “atheistic” MORALS about taking advantage of stupid people.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – A controversial television seance airing on Monday will claim it has reached the spirit of John Lennon, but viewers will have to pay $9.95 to find out what the peace-loving Beatle has to say.

The special, being carried on pay-TV service In Demand, was organized by the producers of a 2003 attempt to channel the late Princess Diana. That show failed to find Diana and received reviews that could have sunk the Titanic but it is estimated to have grossed close to $8 million. (ching ching!)

Sight unseen, the Lennon effort has been attacked by the late Beatle’s friends and fans as a tasteless effort to profit from his assassination 25 years ago. But producers say they are hoping to lure an audience that now loves such prime-time network TV shows as “Ghost Whisperer” and “Medium.”

The program features what is described as an Electronic Voice Phenomenon, or EVP, that a psychic on the show claims is the disembodied voice of Lennon speaking at a seance in one of his favorite New York restaurants, La Fortuna.

EVP is based on a belief that spirit voices communicate through radio and TV broadcast signals.

On the television show, filming at La Fortuna suddenly stops and a narrator says something odd has happened. They then claim that a mysterious voice can be heard on the voice feed of one of the psychics.

The producers then call in “EVP specialist” Sandra Belanger to examine the voice and she proclaims it the real deal.

“That’s very consistent with a Class A EVP,” she said, regarding the level and clarity of the voice. She also says the voice sounds like how Lennon would have talked.

Reuters was given a preview of the program, “The Spirit of John Lennon,” on condition that it not reveal what the “voice” said during the taped seance.

Producer Paul Sharratt, who heads Starcast Productions and who calls himself a skeptic, said hearing the voice has made him a believer.

“The Spirit of John Lennon” is being done without the knowledge or consent of Lennon’s estate or his widow Yoko Ono, who declined comment. Her longtime friend and spokesman Elliot Mintz has called the entire exercise “tacky, exploitative and far removed” from the icon’s way of life.

“A pay-per-view seance was never his style,” said Mintz.

The secret of being in rude health is intercourse

IT DOES not take a degree in medicine to work out that sex is good for you. Anything that is free, feels fabulous and leaves you glowing is plainly a good idea.But scientists are now beginning to understand that the perceived feel-good effects of sexual intercourse are merely the tip of the iceberg. Sex, they are discovering, can offer protection from depression, colds, heart disease and even cancer.

The latest addition to the body of evidence came last month when Professor Stuart Brody of the University of Paisley published a study showing sex can lower blood pressure.

“We’re not just talking about the immediate effects of having had nice sex. The beneficial effects could last at least a week,” says Professor Brody.

One theory is that intercourse stimulates a variety of nerves, most notably the “vagas” nerve, which is directly involved in soothing and calming. But you have to go the whole heterosexual hog. According to Professor Brody, studies show “penile-vaginal intercourse is the only sexual behaviour consistently associated with better psychological and physiological health”.

Such sex has been linked, in women, to a heightened emotional awareness, possibly because the “love hormone” oxytocin is released. One study even found that semen is a mood-enhancing ingredient.

Doctors speculate that this is because semen contains several other mood-altering hormones — including testosterone, oestrogen, prolactin and several different prostaglandins — which can pass into the woman’s bloodstream. This explanation, says Dr David Hicks, sexology specialist and consultant in GU medicine at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield, “is certainly feasible”. Condom-free sex has its drawbacks, of course: contracting a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant unintentionally.

If you are dogged by the sniffles at this time of year, regular love-ins could work wonders for your immunity — condoms and all. Psychologists have found that people who have sex once or twice a week have levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA) that are up to a third higher than their more restrained peers. IgA is an antibody that boosts the immune system and is the first line of defence against colds and flu.

The health benefits for middle-aged men are also particularly persuasive. Recent studies suggest that men who have orgasms twice a week are half as likely to die early as men who orgasm less than once a month.

The more frequently men ejaculate, the less likely they are to develop prostate cancer, and if middle-aged men have sex twice a week or more they also have a lower risk of heart attack. Much has been made of the slimming and toning effects of a sexual work-out. In fact, sex probably burns off about the same number of calories per minute as a brisk walk. “You get all the benefits of exercise,” confirms Dr Hicks. “This includes the release of endorphins, raised heart rate, moving the muscles and joints.”

You might also look younger. “Regular sex makes you feel younger as you are more relaxed, satisfied and less stressed,” says Dr Kevan Wylie, consultant andrologist at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital.

“Sex has huge mental benefits,” adds Dr Hicks. “It’s the outward proof that you are wanted, desired and valued.” And if you feel sexy, you tend to look it, too.

Sex is not, sadly, a cure-all. “There is a danger in thinking that we can fix anything by leaping into bed,” says Dr Petra Boynton, a psychologist at University College in London specialising in sex and relationships. “The fact is you are likely to have a much better sex life if you are healthy and happy, rather than the other way round.” Still, it can’t hurt to try.

So, what’s religion got to offer again? Oh right, sexual repression.
Therefore god wants us to be sick. The Bastard!

Because I’m a femi-nazi, evil commie pinko leftist, I LOVE the Huffington Post (HuffPo, from here on out). Here’s a little opinion piece that made me giggle.

The Rapture Is Crapture (Part 1)
by Tony Hendra

Sorry, Jerry, sorry Pat. No James, Tony, Tom – and especially not you George – you’re not going to be snatched up bodily to Heaven, nekkid as the day you were born, your shriveled grey Republican asses extracted by the Lord from your 1000-dollar suits, leaving them in a puddle on the drivers seat of your SUV or the pulpit of your mega-church.

You’re not the elect, the just or even, we suspect, the saved, who because of your incomparable virtue will be whisked out of harms way by the aforementioned Lord when he comes to wreak genocidal revenge on billions of us unelect, unjust and unsaved. You’re the latest in a millennia-long line of money-grubbing power-hungry hypocrites and hucksters who offer the lonely, threatened, frustrated, and as always, those with a limited supply of marbles, a lovely lie. Not only are they saved but those they hate, fear, envy and blame are damned! Not only will they be snatched up to heaven way ahead of schedule, but – A Special Final Days offer! – they DON’T HAVE TO DIE! That’s the beauty part of the Rapture, a new American twist on an old, old Euro-scam: no massive heart attack, no terminal cancer, no being crushed by a truck on I-95. You’re snatched up to heaven just the way you are.

(Though judging by my current book tour through the Bible Belt the Lord’s going to get a hernia snatching up some of those Baptist babes).

The Rapture is an all-American, jumbo-colossal, Southern-style end-times racket. (Super-save me Jesus!) It makes all previous religious opiates look like Sominex.

The world’s been ending ever since the Book of Revelation was penned, supposedly by the apostle John but more likely by some 1st century acid-casualty who’d eaten too much moldy bread. The Rapture however is new – dreamed up by one John Nelson Darby, an Irish lawyer turned Anglican priest, in the 1830s. His loopy biblical interpretations divide all history into seven ages or dispensations and declare – surprise surprise! – that Jesus’ precepts are inoperative until he returns. This will be heralded by…the Rapture.

Darby was defrocked by the Anglican Church and most of his pals regarded him as deranged. But his ravings spread like kudzu in the fertile soil of 19th century American evangelical fundamentalism. A century and a half later the Rapture is taken as literal truth according to reliable estimates – eg Kevin Phillips – by a third of the nation, who, needless to say, will be the only Rapturees.

For two thousand years this kind of drivel stayed on the spittle-flecked straw-in-the-hair lunatic fringe but now in 21st century America, it’s front and center, driving the domestic and foreign policy, the social and moral agenda, the spending power, and worst of all, the military, of the most powerful nation on earth. Just to get some idea of how it’s affecting not just policy but the whole standing of the nation in the world, here’s a few paltry matters seen in Rapturous light:

Since Christ is right around the corner global warming and Kyoto don’t matter because the planet only has few years to go anyway. So belch out that pollution – Christ don’t give a shit. Ditto drilling offshore in Virginia and Alaska, logging ancient forests, trepanning whole mountains to get at the coal. Gotta keep those SUVs and Macmansions running. Gotta have some place to be Raptured from.

A $7-trillion deficit and bankrupting the nation with debt doesn’t matter either, because we’ll never have to pay it down. Katrina doesn’t matter because it’s a biblically prophesied sign Christ is at hand. What’s the point in saving lives that’ll end soon anyway? Ditto eradicating AIDS. Anyway it’s punishment for your vile abominations.

9/11 doesn’t matter in fact it’s desirable because it proves Christ is right around the corner. Ditto pitching a few nukes into the raging firestorm of the Mid-East because it will actually bring him back quicker!

As the hero of my new book (who happens to be the true Christ returned) puts it: “That’s not Christianity, that’s insanity.”

The media-academic-publishing crowd in which I tend to move dismiss crap like the Rapture in offhand faith-bashing agnostic terms that may make them feel like pious heirs of the Enlightenment, but alienate their natural political allies, Christian moderates, or moderates of other beliefs who are as appalled by fundamentalist terror-squads as they are. People the Loyal Opposition desperately needs.

Almost as counterproductive are those who, being largely ignorant of the religious issues involved, get squeamish about coming down too hard on ‘people of faith’ even if they’re transparently liars, killers and thieves. (Couple days ago in Huffpost Stephen Gyllenhaal in an otherwise admirable piece about the utter immorality of nukes did just this apropos Bush – being-a-man-of-faith-he-can’t-be-all-bad kinda thing). Worst of all is the Fundamentalism Lite gang: add a little Baptist catnip to your left-of-center agenda and the right-of-center will desert the ship of state like rats. Forget that. You can get rid of the pandering poltroon in the Oval Office, but this behemoth is gonna sail right on.

Can it be sunk? Yeah, possibly. But I’m saving how for Part 2: When Judgment comes will The Left Be Left Behind?

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