Kirk Cameron, bananas, and those stupid atheists
25 April 2006 by RonIf I didn’t know that Kirk Cameron (of TVs Growing Pains) had become the big Jeebus-buddy of direct-to-video, I would think this was a (you know, intentional) joke (rather than the unintentional joke that it is). Thanks to Brian for the pointer. There’s lots more good stuff from Kirk out there. More to come, no doubt.
Kind of reminds me of the “If God didn’t want us to masturbate, why did he make our arms just that long?” bit.
And I could watch the banana-handling part all day long.
25 April 2006, on 3:14 pm
A banana as testimony? What, is he joking?
Which prompts a rephrase of the old philosophic query: “If a banana grows on a tree, and there is no human mouth to eat it, is it still a banana?”
Ingersoll moment: “Man in his ignorance supposed that all phenomena were produced by some intelligent power w/direct reference to him.”
I’d like to see this fellow’s explanation of the plum. That ought to be amusing by itself.
25 April 2006, on 3:20 pm
I don’t have sound on the computer I’m using, which makes the initial banana antics quite suggestive.
25 April 2006, on 3:27 pm
“If a banana grows on a tree, and there is no human mouth to eat it, is it still a banana?” LMAO!!!
OK…what about the coconut? What work of genius is that supposed to be?
25 April 2006, on 3:31 pm
this guy doesnt seem to realise that having a banana like this is also equal evidence for evolution, as the banana having those characteristics is selective, because as he said, the shape and stucture makes it easier to eat ( banana and monkey co-evolution perhaps
). So this makes it easier to for the spread of its seeds.
25 April 2006, on 3:31 pm
I just watched this again…is this for real or a comedy skit?
25 April 2006, on 3:38 pm
This could be the greatest piece to ever exist proving the gullibility of theists. Sometimes I wonder …how far will theists go to force fit their story. Apparently too far is just the beginning.
25 April 2006, on 3:38 pm
If that is real it’s got to be about the stupidest argument for gawd that I have ever heard.
25 April 2006, on 4:09 pm
LOL Debbie, I was going to mention the coconut or the watermelon! Gimme a break… talk about grasping for straws.
25 April 2006, on 4:13 pm
Cassandra – I was thinking about watermelon too! LOL! My husband said how about all the variety of mushrooms out there. I wonder how many people died from eating the poison ones before we figured out which ones were bad and which were safe??? Gawd is a real prankster with a fucked up sense of humor, isn’t he???
25 April 2006, on 4:51 pm
Reminds me of the Douglas Adams quotation, writing on the sentient puddle who just KNOWS that the hole he is in was made just for him..
But.. what happens if you turn the banana away from your face? Truly proof of a hateful creator! …and what about plantains.. where do they fit in this?
25 April 2006, on 5:33 pm
“the contents don’t squirt in your face”
“fits perfectly in the mouth”
“it has a point at the top for ease of entry”
“notice how easily if fits in the human hand”
“curved toward the face to make the whole process so much easier”
That’s gold Jerry, gold!
I also enjoyed his instructional video on churning butter.
I’m Ray Comfort, living a lie.
25 April 2006, on 6:03 pm
Ha Ha! Thanks for giving me something to laugh at while I’m at work. The morons don’t note that bananas are smaller and more seedy in the wild. Oh yeah and monkeys don’t peel banana from the “little tab”, they peel from the other end and hold on to the tab. What asshats!
25 April 2006, on 6:19 pm
Paul: Oh yeah and monkeys don’t peel banana from the “little tab”, they peel from the other end and hold on to the tab.
Well, that’s because they’re lesser creations, of course; the little tab was specifically designed for us superior creations, humans!
25 April 2006, on 8:09 pm
Just thought of something…if gawd made everything then he made marijuana…then why is it crime for his creatures to use something he made to make themselves feel good?
25 April 2006, on 8:18 pm
I used to have the hotties for his wife Chelsea Noble. During the last season or so of ‘Growing Pains’ she played his girlfriend on the show. I haven’t seen any recent pics of her, but I remember her being a complete package in the looks department!
25 April 2006, on 8:28 pm
I was reading an article about Kirk Cameron…how he found Jeebus…and apparently after summer hiatus from Growing Pains in 1990 he was “transformed”
When he came back from [the summer hiatus in 1990], Kirk was very different,” producer Steve Marshall told the cable series E! True Hollywood Story. “No practical jokes, very serious. If he wasn’t in a scene, he’d go away.”
Cameron’s TV mom Joanna Kerns agrees. “Kirk kind of pulled away from all of us in a way that made it very odd suddenly,” she told E!. “We were all very close, and then we weren’t.”
“He seemed kind of sad, and we thought that was odd for somebody who had found religion,” adds Marshall. “Usually religion brings joy into a person’s life, and he didn’t seem very joyful.”
This is exactly what happened to my sister and her family when they found Jeebus…they pulled away into their own world, shutting the rest of us out and acting like we weren’t good enough to associate with any more.
Here is the link to the whole article about him…what a fruitcake!
http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/2003/002/1.20.html
25 April 2006, on 10:26 pm
His next video: How leaves are perfectly designed for wiping your ass when you take a shit in the woods.
25 April 2006, on 11:48 pm
These people are truly fucked up.
And more about that can be seen in North California on Thurs at 11pm on channel 5 (CBS) title, ” A bible Based Government”. Very weird shit and we DO need to oppose these people (retards). Previews show a Santorum type clone saying mjost people agree with what we are doing.
26 April 2006, on 12:41 am
Just posted on these clowns on my own site. Saw Cameron on O’Reilly last week who said he admired him for joining the cult. Cameron basically said that he converted because he was afraid of dying, the pussy. Does the truth not matter? Nah, this shit makes me feel better.
The problem (one of them anyway) with their banana argument is that, even if God created bananas, he didn’t create these bananas, we did. They’re the result of centuries of selective breeding. The dumbasses are actually presenting evidence for evolution. Such domesticated bananas could never have existed in the wild, and would never survive if we left them alone now. Ignorant morons.
26 April 2006, on 1:02 am
I remeber flipping though the lobby tv at work one day getting ready for the morning and seeing this and laoughing my ass off so the whole morning I had one bannana behind the front desk with nightmare written on it shit I need a video camera so I can spoof this shit
26 April 2006, on 7:49 am
Paul: Oh yeah and monkeys don’t peel banana from the “little tab”, they peel from the other end and hold on to the tab.
Does anyone else eat bananas this way? I do, and people laugh at me when they see me do it.
26 April 2006, on 7:54 am
Check out http://www.boingboing.net/2006/01/21/peeling_bananas_from.html for more on the “inverted peeling” stuff.
26 April 2006, on 10:03 am
he converted because he was afraid of dying, the pussy. Does the truth not matter? Nah, this shit makes me feel better.
Proves our point that religion is a coping device for those who cannot accept the inevitable.
26 April 2006, on 11:15 am
My son brought this up…the banana as we know it has been ENGINEERED BY HUMANS to the “perfection” it is today. Bananas had naturally been too seedy to eat and after many years botanists have created the banana we buy at our local grocer’s. This “perfect” banana that the fruitball in the video says gawd made is threatened with extinction should a bacterial outbreak take over the already diminishing banana crops:
Here is an interesting article about it titled “Can This Fruit Be Saved”
http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/5a4d4c3ee4d05010vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html
26 April 2006, on 1:42 pm
If a banana is an athiests worst nightmare, then an artichoke must be an evangelical’s worst nightmare. What lunacy!
26 April 2006, on 1:57 pm
Brooklyn Boy.
LOL!
26 April 2006, on 2:48 pm
What a tard.
26 April 2006, on 5:55 pm
OK, Kirk is an example of your shiny, happy religion, here’s what happenes when you take the hard stuff. Seriously, this woman should just STFU!
This woman is fucking insane
26 April 2006, on 6:14 pm
reboho,
WBC is a psychotic cult based in Topeka, Kansas. I know quite a bit about them as I hear about them constantly. Believe it or not, that woman is actually a lawyer.
26 April 2006, on 6:21 pm
Reboho
That woman needs to be commited to some asylum. Sheesh. I am unable to comprehend these people without thinking that they are truly deeply and utterly insane. That is just what we need to show the people who think having a god based gov’t is not so bad. If a person where to believe that this woman speaks for them do you think they would go along with anything this dswoman says?
26 April 2006, on 7:31 pm
The insane woman clip is on YouTube.com also, at http://youtube.com/watch?v=_i0UjxP0BBY
26 April 2006, on 7:43 pm
Well, of course she is insane. She’s Phelps’ daughter.
What fascinated me was how she embraced the fact that WBC is hated by the whole nation, because that’s what gawd said would happen.
Remember Adam’s Blog?
Here is what he had to say about our criticism of him and his wife.
An anti-Christian website has posted a link here. I will not reciprocate. Its an incredible amount of venom and hatred spewed out. Its one of those posts that the blogosphere is famous for.
However, I don’t find it surprising. Christ said,
If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.-John 15:18
Seems he shares some of the Phelps clan’s delusions of grandeur (not to mention Christ complex).
26 April 2006, on 9:11 pm
This country is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
What do you mean, “biblical”?
What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.
Exactly.
Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.
Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes…
The dead rising from the grave.
Human sacrifice, Hannity and Colmes agreeing to bash this cretins face in – mass hysteria.
Honestly, I don’t know whether to send them money so they can keep protesting so others can see how crazy they are or join up the bikers who are counter protesting whenever they show up at one of the funerals.
I don’t think we should be in Iraq but I certainly would never think that disrespecting one of our soldiers is anyway to demonstrate God’s love. Sad thing is that they are brain washing their children with this garbage. They really ought to be investigated for child abuse.
I see that my link isn’t working anymore but the YouTube link is. I’m going to take a shower now, I feel so dirty.
26 April 2006, on 10:20 pm
This is clearly a family cult. That woman is INSANE. Must be from all that inbreeding?
27 April 2006, on 12:35 am
Hey if god is such a master food engineer, why did he include those stringy fibrous yarns running along the peel, inconveniently hindering my decadent banana eating experience. How many times have your fingers been left with smeared with banana splooge because you had to carefully tear those stupid yarns away from the succulent fruit. Particularly ropy fibers have actually forced me to prematurely peel the entire banana!!! obviated the utility of the neat little wrapper.
I’m switching to Lucifer brand bananas…godammit.
27 April 2006, on 10:14 am
Hey if god is such a master food engineer, why did he include those stringy fibrous yarns running along the peel, inconveniently hindering my decadent banana eating experience.
LOL! Exactly! Or those damned silky hairs on sweet corn! What a pain in the butt it is to remove all that!
27 April 2006, on 5:05 pm
Or – or – how about those strings on and seeds in oranges, and the gunk that gets under your fingernails when you peel them, and the juice that squirts in your eye?
When any individual, no matter whom, resorts to these tactics to try to prove their point of view, they always end up looking so very very silly.
27 April 2006, on 7:50 pm
Or – or – how about those strings on and seeds in oranges, and the gunk that gets under your fingernails when you peel them, and the juice that squirts in your eye?
He mentions that bananas don’t squirt you in the eye when you open them up….I guess gawd screwed up when designing the orange.
How can even xians watch that bullcrap?
27 April 2006, on 10:09 pm
Jumpin’ Jesus on a Pogo Stick!
It’s Intellcreationismdesign again!
Can’t look at bananas the same way again.
1 May 2006, on 1:34 pm
Bananas are man made (sort of). Cross bread over the centuries to get them to what we buy at the groccery store. Bananas in nature grow in huge bundels covered in thick straw like skin, way up in trees. Most of the fruit and veg we eat were cross-bread, geneticly engineered. The Dutch cross bread everything back in 1600s, tulips, carrots – carrots were never orange – WE made them that way. IDIOTS!
12 May 2006, on 12:30 pm
[...] Remember this gem of creationist stupidity form Ray Comfort and Mike Seaver . . . uh, Kirk Cameron? [...]
12 May 2006, on 4:16 pm
Proves our point that religion is a coping device for those who cannot accept the inevitable.
Actually, it’s a coping device for those who cannot accept tat humans may just make death “evitable”.
12 May 2006, on 11:35 pm
It looks to me like everyone here who disbelieves God or Jesus and thinks of believers as boneheads hasn’t really done their homework. Wasting time putting them down is sooo boring to read, so I skipped down to here to let you know that. PuhLEASE write about something more interesting besides thumbing your noses up at others you disagree with. Ugh!
14 May 2006, on 1:42 am
Hi Connie, welcome to the blog. Just a heads up, Technorati is tracking over 33 million blogs. I’m sure there is one out there that appeals to your taste much more than this one *hint, hint*.
Anyway you look at it Christians are trying to oppress up and the worst part is that they are telling us that it is for our own good. We may ridicule them but we are not the ones praying and imploring an figment of our imagination to strike down all those who don’t agree with us. Nor are we the ones standing outside of funerals telling the survivors that their loved one is going to hell nor are we telling homosexuals that they are subhuman because they happen to like members of their same sex nor are we trying to force women back in to roles as second class citizens.
I do agree that there are many Christians who are smart, think for themselves and respect other’s beliefs however I also believe that those types of Christians are the minority in that religion.
By the by that woman in the video is very scary. She is no different than the nutcases who flew planes into the twin towers and I forsee her and her cult doing something along the same lines to “make the sinners wake up and obey.” Ugh!
14 May 2006, on 2:06 am
Connie: , so I skipped down to here to let you know that.
In other words, like most theists, you put your fingers in your ears and went LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!
If you had any true courage, you would read this blog for a few weeks, reserve your ignorant comments while you learn something about other people’s viewpoints, and then come back here and say something with a semblance of integrity.
18 May 2006, on 3:20 am
Well then I’d like to have a word with “God” about that stupid POMEGRANITE I ate yesterday. Christ. (ooh, sorry… name in vain…)
18 May 2006, on 9:02 am
# Kurt Says:
May 18th, 2006 at 3:20 am e
Well then I’d like to have a word with “God” about that stupid POMEGRANITE I ate yesterday. Christ. (ooh, sorry… name in vain…)
And what about that fuckin’ artichoke?
Might’ve choked Artie but it ain’t gonna choke me.
22 May 2006, on 11:48 pm
He forgets to mention that a true banana does not look or taste anything like that. What he is holding is actually a highly hybridized result of selective growing methods completely developed by humans over decades, not to mention sprayed with intensive and highly toxic man-made chemicals. “God”probably didn’t include all of that in his plan for the banana.
30 May 2006, on 5:55 pm
Maybe Kirk should form a damn hypothesis about how BULIMIA proves that God exists, since he pretty much harassed Tracey Gold damn near to death. It’s sad to see that he still thinks that he alone has this perfect way of living that everyone else has to live up to, regardless of what it involves. What a miserable fucker.
23 July 2006, on 8:20 pm
THE WAY THAT GUY WAS BREATHLESSLY STROKING HIS BANANA AND THAT THE VIDEO IS CALLED “THE WAY OF THE MASTER” I THINK SAYS A BIT MORE ABOUT HIS REAL FEELINGS FOR HIS FAVORITE GOD MADE FRUIT
THAN HE WOULD LIKE TO ADMIT.
7 March 2007, on 4:16 pm
When we stand before God and he sends us to hell, will we still not believe in him? ??
Another fundie troll in the archives! Why don’t you cowards ever comment on the main page? Is it so you can go back and tell your xian groupies how you told off the big bad atheist so you can feel self-righteous and good about yourself?
There is no hell, there is no god…you believe because you want to magically live forever…or at least think you will. But you are not. NO one does no matter what you want to fantasize.
And why do you hate other humans so much to want to go around and leave hateful messages? It is absurd to think that any sky daddy is going to burn good people for all eternity and give you big rewards for merely saying “I believe, I really do and I told off lots of evil atheists so I deserve it!” You guys are morons.
12 April 2007, on 8:08 pm
[...] We had the Kirk Cameron atheist nightmare banana video about a year ago, and now, as areyoustilllistening says, “Chuck Missler takes the misunderstanding of evolution to a whole new level!” [...]