Archive for March, 2006

Food for thought: free speech, Xians, and little ol’ us

27 March 2006 by Sean

Well, there was some interesting stuff tonight in the moderation queue, and it shared a bit of an overriding theme, so I thought I would post it. For those who don’t follow the RSS feeds, these comments might get buried in the deluge (the ones from “ub4war” are in relation to a post almost five months old).

I have approved all of them and let them through. But here they are together.


Name: ub4war | E-mail: [hidden]

ok what ever i could care less if i came back here anyway
you are a lie and you edit out what people say and add your garbage
you are not into free speach and i can see your father the devil is quit mad and as his son you are in complete agreement with him and i say that because you act like a child with foul language and verbal attacks i can smell your rotting soul from here
may Christ soften your heart befor it is too late
GOODBYE!

I didn’t edit out a single thing this troll said. I just deleted his copy and paste garbage posting and put a link to its source. He said nothing original at all.

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Name: ub4war | E-mail: [hidden]

plagerize? funny as you said cut and paste
i never took credit for it but i am glad to promote carm

Yes, he really spelled it that way.

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Name: ub4war | E-mail: [hidden]

God gives different gifts to his sheep
i will stand by my statement that i did not plagerize
in fact in the article that you obliterated there was a link that takes you too Carms home page!
carm gives the rite to use their articles and in fact i took it off their cut and paste page
all i have to to is use it in its as written
if you feel so sure i am wrong please send transcrip too carm and see what they think—–i do admit i wish i had said ‘’and here sean for you reading pleaure is an article from carm but i did not and thats my bad but i did not plagerize and i never took credit for the articles

That’s hilarious. Apparently he thinks that I am being cruel for pointing out that he copied thousands of words from other people’s web sites and gave no mention that they weren’t his own. Boy, am I a meanie.

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Name: Ryan | E-mail: [hidden]

Hey guys,

This is Ryan from Blogger of Jared (the idiot who railed against “classic” literature, which, whether you believe in the bible or not, is still a boatload of crap.

So let go of the logical fallacy of trying to dismantle my argument by debunking the bible. In fact, I’ll save you the trouble by conceding that the Bible is just a pretty pink story for suckers.

Well, good. Is there anything more to discuss? Oops. I guess there is.

It still doesn;t make symbolism in “classic” literature anything more than a cheap attempt to appear thoughtful by a group of talentless hacks)

Anyway, back to my point, I am curious as to why no one posted their thoughts on the blog? I knew I was tossing out some fighting words when I wrote them. I don’t even think that I am unwilling to change my mind if a well organized argument is given. That’s why I started this Blog in the first place. I don’t really enjoy hearing a chorus of kool-aid drinkers agreeing with every outlandish argument I make. Honestly, a blog and readership like that would be quite asinine.

Check it out, kids. Someone begging to be fed to the lions. Now that’s refreshing.

So stop challenging my opinions while hiding in the corner of the room under your blankie so the scary mormon blogger monster won’t see you. (Get it? Your blog symbolizes the blankie that offers only a fragile facade and the corner symbolizes the psuedo-geography of the internet and the mormon blogger monster symbolizes… me. Wow I’m soooo talented and creative and free-thinking.)

By the way if you do come to comment, please do me a favor and keep the language clean. I would love to debate the issue without feeling like I have to delete every other comment.

Now where are we? A few problems: you start off saying you are open to dialogue and then you spend a whole paragraph trying to infantilize and insult us. Good luck with that — you have no idea what you are up against. [Them's fightin' words, by the way.] Also, what is with you relig’us people and your childish squeamishness toward cussin’? You’d really delete our comments just for using what you deem to be “dirty” words? Talk about censorship. [Hint: see the title of this post to get an idea as to why I saw these topics as related.]

And, furthermore…

You can’t handle the word FUCK… or the truth!

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The Similarites Between Bush and Mohammed

26 March 2006 by King Retard

I came across this editorial on Yahoo today. I find it interesting that the author of the article seems to be excusing the current war by basically saying “well, the prophet did it and Bush claims he talks to gawd so maybe he’s right. ” So now we’re using the actions of a fictional prophet to excuse the lies of a president who also claims to receive direct instructions from an invisible sky daddy. On the other hand, at least the author makes a valid point when he says: “I don’t deny that the Bush administration’s record on freedom and human rights has been hypocritical. But I refuse to hand Muslim-American leaders any moral triumph as long as they validate for the prophet a sin that they castigate in the president.” In other words, we’re beset by hypocrites on all sides.

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Moron-opoly

26 March 2006 by Sean

Came across this while searching for Mormon imagery. Just had to share:

It’s Mormon-opoly!

From the official Mormon-opoly® site:

What is Mormon-opoly®? Mormon-opoly® is a creative and exciting LDS game based on the principles and history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The goal of this Mormon game is to build as many chapels and stake centers as possible in order to “help build the kingdom of God”. Players can learn about LDS church history and read related scriptures as they move about the board. In addition, the game addresses financial management and community service as well.

What does it include? Each Mormon-opoly® game includes the following:

* Game Board – New board folds twice for easy shipping and compact storage.

* 28 Property Deed – with historical facts about the locations and related scriptures on the back.

* 15 Faith cards – help you move around the board with resulting rewards and penalties and scriptures to read as you go.

* 15 Bishop Storehouse cards – with financial rewards and penalties and scriptures to read.

* 1 Deck of Mormon-opoly® money

* Bank money organizer tray

* 6 Player pieces: ark, beehive, covered wagon, donkey, lion, & a whale

* Chapels and Stake Centers

* 2 Dice

Isn’t it just like the Mormons to model their game on the most ruthlessly money-grubbing board game there is in order to teach their youth about their religion?

Wonder if it is half as fun to play as Kosherland?

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DNA tests challenge the Book of Mormon

26 March 2006 by Sean

Genetics vs. faith

From the time he was a child in Peru, the Mormon Church instilled in Jose A. Loayza the conviction that he and millions of other Native Americans were descended from a lost tribe of Israel that reached the New World more than 2,000 years ago.

“We were taught all the blessings of that Hebrew lineage belonged to us and that we were special people,” said Loayza, now a Salt Lake City attorney. “It not only made me feel special, but it gave me a sense of transcendental identity, an identity with God.”

A few years ago, Loayza said, his faith was shaken and his identity stripped away by DNA evidence showing that the ancestors of American natives came from Asia, not the Middle East.

“I’ve gone through stages,” he said. “Absolutely denial. Utter amazement and surprise. Anger and bitterness.”

For Mormons, the lack of discernible Hebrew blood in Native Americans is no minor collision between faith and science. It burrows into the historical foundations of the Book of Mormon, a 175-year-old transcription that the church regards as literal and without error.

For those outside the faith, the depth of the church’s dilemma can be explained this way: Imagine if DNA evidence revealed that the Pilgrims didn’t sail from Europe to escape religious persecution but rather were part of a migration from Iceland — and that U.S. history books were wrong.

Critics want the church to admit its mistake and apologize to millions of Native Americans it converted. Church leaders have shown no inclination to do so. Indeed, they have dismissed as heresy any suggestion that Native American genetics undermine the Mormon creed.

Yet at the same time, the church has subtly promoted a fresh interpretation of the Book of Mormon intended to reconcile the DNA findings with the scriptures. This analysis is radically at odds with long-standing Mormon teachings.

Some longtime observers believe that, ultimately, the vast majority of Mormons will disregard the genetic research as an unworthy distraction from their faith.

“This may look like the crushing blow to Mormonism from the outside,” said Jan Shipps, a professor emeritus of religious studies at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis who has studied the church for 40 years. “But religion ultimately does not rest on scientific evidence, but on mystical experiences. There are different ways of looking at truth.”

And therein lies the problem.

According to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, an angel named Moroni led Joseph Smith in 1827 to a divine set of golden plates buried in a hillside near his New York home.

God provided the 22-year-old Smith with a pair of glasses and seer stones that allowed him to translate the “Reformed [read "fake"] Egyptian” writings on the golden plates into the “Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.”

Mormons believe these scriptures restored the church to God’s original vision and left the rest of Christianity in a state of apostasy. [But of course -- you wouldn't have a religion if you weren't also claiming that others who didn't have your religion were damned.]

The book’s narrative focuses on a tribe of Jews who sailed from Jerusalem to the New World in 600 B.C. and split into two main warring factions.

The God-fearing Nephites were “pure” (the word was officially changed from “white” in 1981) and “delightsome.” The idol-worshiping Lamanites received the “curse of blackness,” turning their skin dark.

According to the Book of Mormon, by 385 A.D. the dark-skinned Lamanites had wiped out other Hebrews. The Mormon church called the victors “the principal ancestors of the American Indians.” If the Lamanites returned to the church, their skin could once again become white.

Oh, joy. So they taught the Native Americans to hate their own skin and wish they were white. They Michael Jacksoned them. How many of those converts have turned white so far, by the way?

Over the years, church prophets — believed by Mormons to receive revelations from God — and missionaries have used the supposed ancestral link between the ancient Hebrews and Native Americans and later Polynesians as a prime conversion tool in Central and South America and the South Pacific.

“As I look into your faces, I think of Father Lehi (patriarch of the Lamanites), whose sons and daughters you are,” church president and prophet Gordon B. Hinckley said in 1997 during a Mormon conference in Lima, Peru. “I think he must be shedding tears today, tears of love and gratitude …. This is but the beginning of the work in Peru.”

In recent decades, Mormonism has flourished in those regions, which now have nearly 4 million members — about a third of Mormon membership worldwide, according to church figures.

“That was the big sell,” said Damon Kali, an attorney who practices law in Sunnyvale, Calif., and is descended from Pacific Islanders. “And quite frankly, that was the big sell for me. I was a Lamanite. I was told the day of the Lamanite will come.”

A few months into his two-year mission in Peru, Kali stopped trying to convert the locals. Scientific articles about ancient migration patterns had made him doubt that he or anyone else was a Lamanite.

“Once you do research and start getting other viewpoints, you’re toast,” said Kali, who said he was excommunicated in 1996 over issues unrelated to the Lamanite issue. “I could not do missionary work anymore.”

Critics of the Book of Mormon have long cited anachronisms in its narrative to argue that it is not the work of God. For instance, the Mormon scriptures contain references to a seven-day week, domesticated horses, cows and sheep, silk, chariots and steel. None had been introduced in the Americas at the time of Christ.

In the 1990s, DNA studies gave Mormon detractors further ammunition and new allies such as Simon G. Southerton, a molecular biologist and former bishop in the church.

Southerton, a senior research scientist with the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization in Australia, said genetic research allowed him to test his religious views against his scientific training.

Genetic testing of Jews throughout the world had already shown that they shared common strains of DNA from the Middle East. Southerton examined studies of DNA lineages among Polynesians and indigenous peoples in North, Central and South America. One mapped maternal DNA lines from 7,300 Native Americans from 175 tribes.

Southerton found no trace of Middle Eastern DNA in the genetic strands of today’s American Indians and Pacific Islanders.

In “Losing a Lost Tribe,” published in 2004, he concluded that Mormonism — his faith for 30 years — needed to be re-evaluated in the face of these facts, even though it would shake the foundations of the faith.

The problem is that Mormon leaders cannot acknowledge any factual errors in the Book of Mormon because the prophet Joseph Smith proclaimed it the “most correct of any book on earth,” Southerton said in an interview.

“They can’t admit that it’s not historical,” [Now that's hysterical] Southerton said. “They would feel that there would be a loss of members and loss in confidence in Joseph Smith as a prophet.”

Officially, the Mormon Church says that nothing in the Mormon scriptures is incompatible with DNA evidence, and that the genetic studies are being twisted to attack the church.

“We would hope that church members would not simply buy into the latest DNA arguments being promulgated by those who oppose the church for some reason or other,” said Michael Otterson, a Salt Lake City-based spokesman for the Mormon church.

Read as: We would hope that people ignore scientific evidence and scurry back to their pews where we can continue to brainwash them.

“The truth is, the Book of Mormon will never be proved or disproved by science,” he said.

And there we have it, folks. The denial we see again and again in the religious. “You can’t prove me wrong.” Actually, in this case, the whole proving the negative argument is moot. They have proved you wrong, dingbat. These people did not come from the Middle East. Doh!

Unofficially, church leaders have tacitly approved an alternative interpretation of the Book of Mormon by church apologists — a term used for scholars who defend the faith. [That term has always cracked me up. How come science doesn't need apologists?]

The apologists say Southerton and others are relying on a traditional reading of the Book of Mormon — that the Hebrews were the first and sole inhabitants of the New World and eventually populated the North and South American continents.

The latest scholarship, they argue, shows that the text should be interpreted differently. They say the events described in the Book of Mormon were confined to a small section of Central America, and that the Hebrew tribe was small enough that its DNA was swallowed up by the existing Native Americans.

What can I say but BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wriggled out of that one real good, boys? How many long nights of brainstorming and non-alcoholic beer did that take?

“It would be a virtual certainty that their DNA would be swamped,” said Daniel Peterson, a professor of Near Eastern studies at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, part of the worldwide Mormon educational system, and editor of a magazine devoted to Mormon apologetics. “And if that is the case, you couldn’t tell who was a Lamanite descendant.”

Southerton said the new interpretation was counter to both a plain reading of the text and the words of Mormon leaders.

“The apologists feel that they are almost above the prophets,” Southerton said. “They have completely reinvented the narrative in a way that would be completely alien to members of the church and most of the prophets.”

The church has not formally endorsed the apologists’ views, but the official Web site of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — www.lds.org — cites their work and provides links to it.

Um… Over there, lower right column, under the banner ad for the “Mormon Tabernacle Does Tupac” CD.

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Oglala Sioux to Mike Rounds: Suck it, bitch.

25 March 2006 by Marcus


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Imagine our surprise: They hate us

25 March 2006 by Ron

As if we didn’t know: Atheists identified as America’s most distrusted minority, according to new U of M study. It’s just the press release so far; we’ll look for the actual numbers. But a taste of the content:

Americans’ increasing acceptance of religious diversity doesn’t extend to those who don’t believe in a god, according to a national survey by researchers in the University of Minnesota’s department of sociology… Americans rate atheists below Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians and other minority groups in “sharing their vision of American society.” Atheists are also the minority group most Americans are least willing to allow their children to marry.

Even though atheists are few in number, not formally organized and relatively hard to publicly identify, they are seen as a threat to the American way of life by a large portion of the American public. “Atheists, who account for about 3 percent of the U.S. population, offer a glaring exception to the rule of increasing social tolerance over the last 30 years”… today’s atheists play the role that Catholics, Jews and communists have played in the past—they offer a symbolic moral boundary to membership in American society.

That’s right; we’re the new Jewish Communists — the new bogeyman for the 21st century.

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Xian Parenting Tip #237: Spank Kids with 2 ft. long PVC pipe

24 March 2006 by Lya Kahlo

Dead child’s mom sought discipline tips

Lynn Paddock ordered books by a minister and his wife that recommended using pipe to spank kids

A few years ago, Lynn Paddock sought Christian advice on how to discipline her growing brood of adopted children.

Paddock — a Johnston County mother accused of murdering Sean, her 4-year-old adopted son, and beating two other adopted children — surfed the Internet, said her attorney, Michael Reece. She found literature by an evangelical minister and his wife who recommended using plumbing supply lines to spank misbehaving children.

Paddock ordered Michael and Debi Pearl’s books and started spanking her adopted children as suggested. After Sean, the youngest of Paddock’s six adopted children, died last month, his older sister and brother told investigators about Paddock’s spankings.

Sean’s 9-year-old brother was beaten so badly he limped, a prosecutor said. Bruises marred Sean’s backside, too, doctors found.

Sean died after being wrapped so tightly in blankets he suffocated. That, too, was a form of punishment, Johnston County Sheriff Steve Bizzell said.

The Pearls’ advice from their Web site: A swift whack with the plastic tubing would sting but not bruise. Give 10 licks at a time, more if the child resists. Be careful about using it in front of others — even at church; nosy neighbors might call social workers. Save hands for nurturing, not disciplining. Heed the warning, taken from Proverbs in the Old Testament, that sparing the rod will spoil the child.

Paddock and other moms in her rural Baptist church chatted about the Pearls’ strategies for rearing obedient children, Reece said.

“I think she was trying to do the right thing by her children,” he said. (Note: clearly BEATING THEM TO DEATH is not trying to do right, ASSHOLE)

Paddock, 45, faces a possible lifetime behind bars or execution if convicted of causing Sean’s death.

Paddock seems to have carefully followed the Pearls’ teachings. Investigators found 2-foot lengths of plumbing supply line in several rooms of her remote farmhouse.

The Pearls offer shopping advice on their Web site, www.nogreaterjoy.org: “You can buy them for under $1.00 at Home Depot or any hardware store. They come cheaper by the dozen and can be widely distributed in every room and vehicle. Just the high profile of their accessibility will keep the kids in line.”

The Pearls’ first book, “To Train Up a Child,” has sold more than 400,000 copies since it was published in 1994, according to Mel Cohen, general manager of the Pearls’ business, No Greater Joy Ministries. After the book came out, so many readers wrote in with questions that the Pearls started a newsletter. Every two months, Cohen said, the Pleasantville, Tenn.-based ministry mails more than 60,000 newsletters to parents around the world.

The Pearls declined to be interviewed. “They feel the material speaks for itself,” Cohen said.

Christian evangelicals who, like the Pearls, teach the importance of corporal punishment have loyal followers. The results are tangible, said Dot Ehlers, executive director of a Smithfield nonprofit who teaches parenting skills to mothers and fathers referred to them by the Johnston County Department of Social Services. She said about a quarter of the 60 parents she instructs each week say their faith defends and encourages corporal punishment.

The Pearls’ techniques helped Sandy Hicks, a mother in Texas who said she was desperate to restore peace in her home.

“Some people would rather spend an hour reasoning with a defiant 5-year-old instead of requiring the kid to behave and giving him a swat if he doesn’t,” said Hicks, who said she has used a peach-tree switch to spank her four children. “Some people are just queasy about swatting their kids.”

The Pearls’ teachings helped mobilize another group of Christian parents to speak out against such corporal punishment. The Web site Stoptherod.net rails against the Pearls’ first book; the Web site’s founders, Susan and Steve Lawrence of Virginia, say the book “reads like a child abuse manual.” The Web site encourages parents to post critical reviews of the book on Amazon.com.

Some of the Pearls’ defenders say you can’t blame them for parents who take their advice to an unhealthy extreme.

Gena Suarez, publisher of a magazine for home-schooling parents that publishes advertisements for the Pearls’ books, said their teachings are often inappropriately used to defend child abuse.

“[The Pearls] are talking about something that would fit in a purse,” Suarez said. “The only way you can kill a child with that is by shoving it down his throat.”

The Pearls acknowledge that discipline turns to abuse when the “child is broken in spirit, cowed and subdued …”

The minister advises one mother on his Web site: “I always give myself one swat before I swat the child to remind myself how much force to exert. It stings the skin without bruising or damaging tissue. It’s a real attention-getter.”

(News researchers Susan Ebbs, Becky Ogburn and Lamara Williams-Hackett contributed to this report.)

Sing it with me now: Jesus Loves Us to Beat the Children
Over the hills and everywhere
Jesus Loves Us to Beat the Children
Since Jesus Christ is born!

or how about: Jesus Loves me this I know
Mommy’s PVC pipe tells me so

You know xians are all hysterical over gay adoptions. But, um, how many stories about gay adoptive parents beating kids to death (or cutting off their arms, or starving them, or forcing them to drink lethal amounts of water or laundry detergent, or caging them) do we hear? Oh right, NONE. Clearly, it’s xians who shouldn’t be allowed to adopt. At least Baptists and Evangelicals anyway.

(Note to theists: I don’t give a damn if you’re offended. Everyday you offend me.)

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Something Never Came From Nothing Because There Never Was Nothing – Or Something Like That…

23 March 2006 by Rockstar Ryan

I hate it when Jeebus’s army comes out to prove their magic sky god is real with the following argument:

DumbassMoronic Theist: Oh yEAh? WEll hOw did wE get herE, huH? SOmeThinG cain’T cOMe frOM NOThinG!

RockstarRockstar: True. “Nothing” exists only in The NeverEnding Story.

You see, there never was “nothing”. Time and space are constant; without one the other can’t exist. And if you don’t think time and space are constants in the universe, please submit your research for the next Nobel Prize. Since time and space began at the same time, and dictate the rules of the universe as we know it, your sky god/gods are no longer necessary in the equation.

Solution:

There has always been “something” – the universe. If there was a thing that lay outside the laws of physics that existed prior to time, like your sky god/gods, then she/he/it/they/spaghetti can’t be proven by science.

Unable to be proven by science = no observable effects.

Does anyone know what the only thing in science that has no observable effects is? That’s right!

Nothing.

(P.S. – So I’m doing a Google image search for “god”…)

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