There’s not much I enjoy as much as watching the various Klans of Konservative Kristians fight over who has the right path on moral condemnation of others. And now, the Pals O’Jeebus are turning on each other over the “War on Christmas” bullshit: Bill “Phone Sex” O’Reilly goes after the Catholics (”O’Reilly compared Catholic leaders’ silence over “war” on Christmas to Church’s reaction to pedophilia scandal“), and Cal “If you are outside of Christ, then nothing you do is good” Thomas goes after O’Reilly and the his boyz’ “war” bullshit (”‘War on Christmas’ crusaders ‘might be more objectionable’ than those saying ‘Happy Holidays’“).

Next week — Celebrity Death Match: Falwell vs. Robertson!

I’m in for the pay-per-view.

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At the same time, the radio access network may evolve from bank loans calculating architecture to a distributed one.

Xians – I hope you realize how silly you sound when you boycott stores for having “Holliday Sales” instead of “Christmas Sales”. I have news for you, and I know it’s hard for you to grasp – there are other hollidays people celebrate during December than Christmas. Some celebrate none at all. So if the 16 year old in automotive is required to say “Season’s Greetings” instead of “Merry Christmas”, who cares? Do you all go to Wal-mart for spiritual uplift?

Says Cynthia Tucker of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Perhaps the oddest thing about this cultural imbroglio is the insistence by some Christian purists that stores — palaces of consumerism — should observe the season with declarations of “Merry Christmas!” The weeks-long orgy of buying that begins around Thanksgiving and ends, mercifully, with the new year celebrates consumption, selfishness and excess — a time when Christians turn the other check. This is probably not what Jesus would do.

There is nothing in the Gospels about battling other parents for the last Xbox 360 or knocking down other shoppers to get to discounted personal computers. There are no Christmas sales in the New Testament, nor is there instruction on returning the items you didn’t like. There are no guidelines on the dubious practice of “re-gifting.” (If you look closely, however, you can probably find admonitions against cursing out the motorist who got to that one empty parking space before you.)

Indeed. What does your Rockstar think?

< opinion > Some uber-xians can not grasp the concepts of “other people’s feelings” and “some people don’t base all decisions on a belief in gawd and Jeebus”. Therefore, if they’re beliefs are not placed at the top of any situation by anyone else, they cry foul. < / opinion >

Christmas is not a big celebration of Jeebus’ birthday for all of us. For those like me, it’s a well deserved day off that I spend with my family; feasting, giving, and a hell of a lot of drinking.

To sum it up, Tucker says

So what difference does it make if retailers refer to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or holidays? Merchants are not in the business of spiritual uplift. Those who are looking for that would do well to spend a little less time at the mall.

Keep your Jesus off my penis and your Bible off my balls thank you.

Hey, I still love The Onion: Voice Of God Revealed To Be Cheney On Intercom. A bit or two:

Telephone logs recorded by the National Security Agency and obtained by Congress as part of an ongoing investigation suggest that the vice president may have used the Oval Office intercom system to address President Bush at crucial moments, giving categorical directives in a voice the president believed to be that of God…

While journalists and presidential historians had long noted Bush’s deep faith and Cheney’s powerful influence in the White House, few had drawn a direct correlation between the two until Tuesday, when transcripts of meetings that took place in March and April of 2002 became available… In a transcript of an intercom exchange recorded in March 2002, a voice positively identified as the vice president’s identifies himself as “the Lord thy God” and promotes the invasion of Iraq, as well as the use of torture in prisoner interrogations. .. longtime friend of Cheney was asked to comment on the vice president’s possible subterfuge… “I do know that Mr. Bush was unfamiliar with a phone-based intercom, and I suppose it is possible that Dick took advantage of that.”

It’s all making sense now.

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In places where sloans noise would be disturbing.

Police fear for children abused by religious sects

BRITAIN — Dozens of children are being abused by religious groups who believe they are possessed, The Times has learnt. [...] Nineteen children have been rescued by police and social workers from beatings and mental abuse by church members, and senior officers fear many cases are still going unreported. [...] Although police say most of the cases involve minor injuries, they include beatings, actual bodily harm and neglect involving starving children, abandoning or ignoring them. [...] Concerns were heightened after the case earlier this year of an eight-year-old girl who was tortured in exorcism rites. Sita Kisanga, 36, Sebastian Pinto, 33, and the child’s aunt, who cannot be identified, were found guilty and jailed for subjecting the child to 15 months of beatings and starvation.

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Very nice new Carnival Of The Godless (number 29) is up over at Brent’s always-good Unscrewing The Inscrutable. (Even a bit from us, there.) Check it out.

Death toll from bird flu hits 70 as Thai boy dies

BANGKOK/WASHINGTON (Reuters) – A Thai boy has become the 70th person to die of bird flu, authorities said on Friday, as reports warned a flu pandemic could cost the U.S. economy hundreds of billions of dollars as well as millions of lives. [...] The death of the 5-year-old boy from the central province of Nakhon Nayok, 110 km (70 miles) from Bangkok, took Thailand’s bird flu death toll to 14 out of 22 known cases since the virus swept through large parts of Asia in late 2003.

And if the slow, painful death of a 5-year old doesn’t do it for ya, we also have the crushing of a 6-year old.