If anyone wants a good (albeit disturbing) laugh: In God’s Hands

But many Christians don’t believe that God intends for everyone to be healed.

This was the best part. If I lay-hands and you get better, it’s god. If I lay-hands, and you don’t, it’s still god. I think the Inquisition used this type of logic concerning torture and confessions. Looks like xians need to improve their critical thinking skills. Oh, wait, I forgot, that’s right: they can’t, cuz they’ll burn in hell forever. Sorry, my mistake.

Here’s someone fighting the good fight and taking on John Edwards as a fraud:
Edwards called a fraud

Just in case you weren’t sure, God isn’t into wisdom. There’s the whole thing about how with some wisdom, you might figure out that he’s a figment, of course. So, don’t be getting wise on God:

For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent. (1 Corinthians, 1:19)

For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. (Ecclesiastes, 1:18)

Fortunately, most of his followers have no problem with this one.

loan santa barbara signer

India expects to reach 500 million subscribers by end of 2010.

A while back, I posted a bit (Does the Bible prophecy Britney Spears?) about the fact that a post mentioning Britney Spears (Howard Dean and Britney Spears Linked) spiked our hits for a day or two by a factor of about 2. Wanna guess what happened after last week’s scripture post Lot’s incestuous fantasy nights?

You got it. Our average visits approximately tripled for a couple of days. I guess a post containing reference to father-daughter incest, and including phrases like “Penthouse Forum”, “little lolita tarts got me drunk and seduced me”, “tight little shirts with their bellies showing”, “daughter is a tart”, and “loses control and fucks her” is the kind of thing that wins in the marketplace of ideas.

I’m thinking about a new weekly feature: “Trolling for one-hand typists”. More effective than “Google Ad Words”, certainly.

W the Burning Shrub (who is gonna get his Xian ass kicked in November) has again dodged the confirmation process in the Senate to get another Xian theocrat installed on the federal bench. Alabama Attorney General William Pryor, “who has gained prominence as an outspoken opponent of legalized abortion and as an advocate for a greater Christian influence in government” was apointed to the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit (covering Alabama, Georgia, and Florida) as a “recess appointment” (which allows “temporary” filling of federal bench vacancies). Democrats had repeatedly blocked his nomination from coming to a full Senate vote; the Republicans have whined incessantly about this, in spite of the fact that they did it more to Clinton, and the Dems have allowed 98% of Shrub’s asshole appointments through.

Here’s the NYTimes coverage: Bush Seats Judicial Nominee That Senate Democrats Blocked

This story is from about a week ago, but it still burns my ass: Pharmacists Who Won’t Dispense Morning-After Pill Fired

Eckerd Corp. has fired three pharmacists who declined to fill an emergency contraception prescription for a woman who had been raped, one of the pharmacists said Wednesday. [...]

Herr said he declined to fill the prescription for the so-called “morning-after pill” because he believes it could have killed the embryo if the woman already had conceived. Though he had declined five or six times in the past to fill such prescriptions, it was the first time he had been handed one for a rape victim, he said.

“I went in the back room and briefly prayed about it,” said Herr, who had worked for Eckerd for five years. “I actually called my pastor at Denton Bible Church and asked him what he thought about it.”

When asked if he was bitter about being fired, this is what he said:

“I’m a Christian. I feel like God gave me an opportunity to, I guess, make a stand for what is right,” Herr said. “He’s gonna take care of me either way.”

Yeah, well, I’d rather he take care of you without you working in a place where you could pull shit like this, jackass. And people wonder xians piss me off.

Something interesting in church news (you knows, besides all the molestations): Jury Finds Bishop Guilty in a Fatal Hit-and-Run Accident

The 68-year-old bishop, who was ordered to appear at a presentencing hearing on March 12, faces up to 45 months in prison.

But this is the weird part.

The prosecutor said in his opening arguments on Jan. 20 that there could be no question that what the bishop hit was a large man � Mr. Reed was 6 feet tall and weighed about 250 pounds.

Mr. Reed was thrown onto the hood of the Buick and into the windshield with such force that body tissue and fibers from his shirt were embedded in the broken glass. There was blood on the roof.

I can only imagine what that guy’s car looked like. Not too swift, Mr. Bishop. Next time, when you hear a loud crash and there’s blood on your roof, you might want to tell someone.

Clearly, not every poll is accurate. But even if this one isn’t, I’m guessing it’s not that far off: Most Americans Believe Bible Stories of Moses, Noah are True: Poll

Overall, sixty-four percent of those canvassed believed the story of Moses parting the Red Sea was “literally true, meaning it happened that way word-for-word.”

You often wonder what fucking planet you landed on…